You are experiencing a normal set of emotions for going through a job change. When I quit last year and got the job I'm in now, I didn't think I'd have any good feelings left about the company because in my case it was my bosses who were a large part of the driving force in me leaving. But there are always co-workers who you enjoy working with that you'll miss. You have the advantage of being right down the road from them, so after you get settled in, maybe call them up and invite them out for drinks after work some day. Keep in touch with them, you never know when your new company will be hiring, and you never know when they might go somewhere even more fabulous than the place you are going.
As for the aquisition, it does kill morale. In fact, the company I used to work for was in the position of aquiring, but it usually meant a few years of low profits because they got the companies for a reason. I'm sure at 3M you guys are a blip on the radar, but when a smaller company aquires another, it has an effect on both sides.
Enjoy your new job. Your boss will be fine. You might offer to stop by from time to time to help train your replacement if necessary (not to do the work yourself...that would take up too much of your "me time").
Katy
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moremuscle
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 706
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 6:16 am
- Location: South Carolina
Congratulations Sue! Great job!
Good luck in your new position. I hope it is everything you hope for.
Let us know when you start the new job and how it is going!
Margie
Good luck in your new position. I hope it is everything you hope for.
Let us know when you start the new job and how it is going!
Margie
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -- Buddha
Sue,I, too, want to thank you for "the rest of the story". I feel that you did the right thing and you are right - something like that coming along so close to your home is almost like fate slapping you in the face. How could you not take it. Your current boss will manage and if he can't then, he could always get rid of the "thorn in your side" and try to get you back like you said. I feel confident that you have given hime your best for many years and he knows it from the sounds of things.
You really don't need to feel guilty. Sad is acceptable, but not guilty.
Love, Shirley
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
Wow... you guys are TOO good with your insight and advice and encouragement! And I'm so glad I came home for lunch and logged on, because THEY ARE KILLING ME AT THE OFFICE!
I walked in to find the Vice President of Human Resources waiting for me to say "oh my God - I can't believe this is really happening - when you and Tim told me last night I took it like a joke because I thought you two were only kidding! Tim called me from his cell on his way home and was beside himself, so only then did I realize it's real." Anyway, he asked me to give him some time on my calendar today, so I sat with him from noon to 1:00.
But before that meeting, my boss called from an airport during a layover, and it broke my heart. This man who doesn't even like to show or admit that he HAS a heart was heartbroken. He said that he and his wife had a very bad night, because when he got home and told her, she was devastated, which brought the reality home to him and they both tried to deal with it, but not well. I told him that I had had a rough night, too, but that we would all be fine in no time. He asked me to please "think about it - it's not over yet - you haven't signed anything". A few minutes later while I was trying to pull myself together and stop the crying, his wife called me. She is such a sweet lady - we've always gotten along beautifully. She said she is his #1 wife but that I am his #2 wife, and they feel like they have just been asked for a divorce. (that's true - we spend more time and sometimes know more about our co-workers than our own spouses).
Anyway, I've been welling up a lot and trying to compose myself and then I get torn open again. Thank you for that line.... "sadness is OK, but guilt is NOT". I'm going to keep chanting that to myself when I go back after lunch.
Anyway, the HR VP asked me for "time". I told him I would probably be signing the acceptance papers within 24-48 hours. He said he didn't see any problem getting me more money, but he needed to figure out a way to legally and ethically move the other lady OUT of the executive office, in a way that would keep everyone happy, and try to do it in 2 days or less.
I'm still standing strong, at least on the outside, but my insides are a mess! I really do love this company - I watched it grow for the past 10 years, and feel like I'm giving away a pet or a child.
I KNOW business-wise, change can be good, but darn, there is so much comfort in the old familiar, comfortable sweater, too, especially when someone alters it to make it even MORE comfortable.
Sorry for starting to weaken and flounder on this decision.... I'll try not to disappoint anyone. Hah! There I go again, trying to make everyone happy. I wish I could get it through my head that no one person can do that. Sheesh!
You guys are great - thank you!
I walked in to find the Vice President of Human Resources waiting for me to say "oh my God - I can't believe this is really happening - when you and Tim told me last night I took it like a joke because I thought you two were only kidding! Tim called me from his cell on his way home and was beside himself, so only then did I realize it's real." Anyway, he asked me to give him some time on my calendar today, so I sat with him from noon to 1:00.
But before that meeting, my boss called from an airport during a layover, and it broke my heart. This man who doesn't even like to show or admit that he HAS a heart was heartbroken. He said that he and his wife had a very bad night, because when he got home and told her, she was devastated, which brought the reality home to him and they both tried to deal with it, but not well. I told him that I had had a rough night, too, but that we would all be fine in no time. He asked me to please "think about it - it's not over yet - you haven't signed anything". A few minutes later while I was trying to pull myself together and stop the crying, his wife called me. She is such a sweet lady - we've always gotten along beautifully. She said she is his #1 wife but that I am his #2 wife, and they feel like they have just been asked for a divorce. (that's true - we spend more time and sometimes know more about our co-workers than our own spouses).
Anyway, I've been welling up a lot and trying to compose myself and then I get torn open again. Thank you for that line.... "sadness is OK, but guilt is NOT". I'm going to keep chanting that to myself when I go back after lunch.
Anyway, the HR VP asked me for "time". I told him I would probably be signing the acceptance papers within 24-48 hours. He said he didn't see any problem getting me more money, but he needed to figure out a way to legally and ethically move the other lady OUT of the executive office, in a way that would keep everyone happy, and try to do it in 2 days or less.
I'm still standing strong, at least on the outside, but my insides are a mess! I really do love this company - I watched it grow for the past 10 years, and feel like I'm giving away a pet or a child.
I KNOW business-wise, change can be good, but darn, there is so much comfort in the old familiar, comfortable sweater, too, especially when someone alters it to make it even MORE comfortable.
Sorry for starting to weaken and flounder on this decision.... I'll try not to disappoint anyone. Hah! There I go again, trying to make everyone happy. I wish I could get it through my head that no one person can do that. Sheesh!
You guys are great - thank you!
Sue
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
Wow! The calls from your boss, and especially his wife, can't help but tug at your heartstrings. With the HR VP tugging at your pursestrings, to boot, and offering to move out you-know-who, I'm glad I'm not in your shoes, 'cause I don't believe I would be strong enough to turn my back on them. Obviously, those people love you to pieces, and don't hesitate to prove it.
You are in the catbird seat.
Wayne
You are in the catbird seat.
Wayne
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Sue -
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make on whether you stay or go. You can't please everyone but you have to live with the decision you make and be pleased with yourself.
We are all happy when you are happy! We were thrilled with your bargaining skills and your determination. How exciting to have people appreciative of your skills, personality and dedication. You should be proud - no matter what decision you make.
Weigh your pros and cons and decide what is right for you and those in your family. YOU have to be happy in the end.
You know that we are your friends and family - no matter what decision you make!
I'm with Wayne, I'm glad I'm not in the position you are in!
Here's some hugs and love to help you along the way! Hang in there girl!
Margie
Ultimately, the decision is yours to make on whether you stay or go. You can't please everyone but you have to live with the decision you make and be pleased with yourself.
We are all happy when you are happy! We were thrilled with your bargaining skills and your determination. How exciting to have people appreciative of your skills, personality and dedication. You should be proud - no matter what decision you make.
Weigh your pros and cons and decide what is right for you and those in your family. YOU have to be happy in the end.
You know that we are your friends and family - no matter what decision you make!
I'm with Wayne, I'm glad I'm not in the position you are in!
Here's some hugs and love to help you along the way! Hang in there girl!
Margie
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -- Buddha
Sue,
Margie is absolutely right. The decision is yours to make but we will support you either way you decide. How could you possibly disappoint one of US. We are family and again, will support your decision.
I think you need you do what you feel will ultimately be best for YOU. Not considering anything else. You need to be comfortable with your decision regarding YOU no matter how others are trying to make you feel.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that anyone is unfairly "pulling your strings". I'm sure they are sincere. You have a good head on your shoulders and you know, deep down, what you think is the best thing to do. Search for that answer.
Love and Hugs, Shirley
Margie is absolutely right. The decision is yours to make but we will support you either way you decide. How could you possibly disappoint one of US. We are family and again, will support your decision.
I think you need you do what you feel will ultimately be best for YOU. Not considering anything else. You need to be comfortable with your decision regarding YOU no matter how others are trying to make you feel.
Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that anyone is unfairly "pulling your strings". I'm sure they are sincere. You have a good head on your shoulders and you know, deep down, what you think is the best thing to do. Search for that answer.
Love and Hugs, Shirley
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
Hello my wonderful supportive and loving family. (and I mean that from the bottom of my heart with all sincerity!) I have tried discussing this situation with my sister, but she basically hates her job and hates working at all, so she cannot relate and has no patience for what I'm going through. Her attitude is "it's not your life, it's only a friggin' job... stop thinking so much about it and just do something and get on with life."
I tried to explain that what we choose and do in our "jobs" weighs heavily on how we feel about the rest of our "life" and no, my job isn't all there is to life, but it IS a BIG part of it. And my folks? They haven't got a clue what I'm going through. My dad worked in the same factory for 40 years and left with his gold watch, and thought that was a sign of success. He is upset to hear that I was even LOOKING for another job. To him that's a sign of failure.... longevity and the "gold watch" is what one is supposed to strive for. And my mom has never worked, so she's clueless. My husband has been wonderful through all this, but he couldn't have done this alone, so thank you all.
FINAL update: my boss called me from California this morning (was only 5:30 a.m. his time) and asked me to take the call in his office so we could talk freely and openly. He said he heard from HR that the only way I would even consider staying is if the "other" was moved, and I told him wholeheartedly that yes, that was not negotiable. Her and I have been slowly killing each other for years, and the only way to make that stop is for us not to work within 10 feet of each other anymore. I have a good job offer, she doesn't - it makes sense that I leave and let us all get on with better working conditions. He asked if I could possibly "hang in there" a couple of more months. When the existing President finally leaves end of January and my boss moves into the Presidential office and some of the other execs that are leaving are physically gone, THEN we can re-org and revamp the entire structure and put her elsewhere, but to make it happen NOW just wasn't ethical or feasible. I agreed, but told him I had an offer on the table NOW and needed to do something. (after all, I've complained about her for years - I really couldn't trust that they would actually do something about it in "a few more months".)
He asked if there were any dollar figure that would make it more bearable, and I said there wasn't - it really wasn't about money.
He reiterated that he is amazed at how deeply hurt and upset he is by all this, so I gave him the "speech" I came up with while lying in bed last night: "OK, Tim.... you let me go to my new job now. When everything changes around here next January/February, call me. By then I'll know whether I love my new job, or hate it, and I can always come back and we'll pick up right where we left off."
He thanked me profusely for giving him something to hang onto, and I commented that I just noticed there were no tissues in his office so I had better hang up. He said there were no tissues because HE took them the last night he was there, when I gave him my notice.
I hate it when these "emotionless" guys finally come out of the closet! I HATE hurting people!
I was blubbering so hard that I grabbed my keys and walked out the door. I'll go read my "Acceptance Offer" papers, wash my face and try to get rid of the puffy eyes (maybe 3 lbs. of make up?) and I'll SIGN those papers so I can't look back anymore.
Thanks again - you have all been unbelievably patient with my lengthy stories.
Sue
I tried to explain that what we choose and do in our "jobs" weighs heavily on how we feel about the rest of our "life" and no, my job isn't all there is to life, but it IS a BIG part of it. And my folks? They haven't got a clue what I'm going through. My dad worked in the same factory for 40 years and left with his gold watch, and thought that was a sign of success. He is upset to hear that I was even LOOKING for another job. To him that's a sign of failure.... longevity and the "gold watch" is what one is supposed to strive for. And my mom has never worked, so she's clueless. My husband has been wonderful through all this, but he couldn't have done this alone, so thank you all.
FINAL update: my boss called me from California this morning (was only 5:30 a.m. his time) and asked me to take the call in his office so we could talk freely and openly. He said he heard from HR that the only way I would even consider staying is if the "other" was moved, and I told him wholeheartedly that yes, that was not negotiable. Her and I have been slowly killing each other for years, and the only way to make that stop is for us not to work within 10 feet of each other anymore. I have a good job offer, she doesn't - it makes sense that I leave and let us all get on with better working conditions. He asked if I could possibly "hang in there" a couple of more months. When the existing President finally leaves end of January and my boss moves into the Presidential office and some of the other execs that are leaving are physically gone, THEN we can re-org and revamp the entire structure and put her elsewhere, but to make it happen NOW just wasn't ethical or feasible. I agreed, but told him I had an offer on the table NOW and needed to do something. (after all, I've complained about her for years - I really couldn't trust that they would actually do something about it in "a few more months".)
He asked if there were any dollar figure that would make it more bearable, and I said there wasn't - it really wasn't about money.
He reiterated that he is amazed at how deeply hurt and upset he is by all this, so I gave him the "speech" I came up with while lying in bed last night: "OK, Tim.... you let me go to my new job now. When everything changes around here next January/February, call me. By then I'll know whether I love my new job, or hate it, and I can always come back and we'll pick up right where we left off."
He thanked me profusely for giving him something to hang onto, and I commented that I just noticed there were no tissues in his office so I had better hang up. He said there were no tissues because HE took them the last night he was there, when I gave him my notice.
I hate it when these "emotionless" guys finally come out of the closet! I HATE hurting people!
I was blubbering so hard that I grabbed my keys and walked out the door. I'll go read my "Acceptance Offer" papers, wash my face and try to get rid of the puffy eyes (maybe 3 lbs. of make up?) and I'll SIGN those papers so I can't look back anymore.
Thanks again - you have all been unbelievably patient with my lengthy stories.
Sue
Sue
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
Sue, that's what "family" is for.
Thank you for the update. You sound resolved and sure of what you really want to do and I'm very happy for you. Also, you have left the door open for possibly returning in the future so I think you have handled it as well as anyone could.
Love, Shirley
P.S. I think you are right about not just "accepting" that things will change for the better in a few months. As sincere as your boss is, he can't foretell the future and many things could go wrong.
Thank you for the update. You sound resolved and sure of what you really want to do and I'm very happy for you. Also, you have left the door open for possibly returning in the future so I think you have handled it as well as anyone could.
Love, Shirley
P.S. I think you are right about not just "accepting" that things will change for the better in a few months. As sincere as your boss is, he can't foretell the future and many things could go wrong.
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
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kate_ce1995
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 1321
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 5:53 pm
- Location: Vermont
Sue, I'm proud of you. You are standing on your own feet very well, and that is what we all need to be able to do in this world. I laughed about your Dad's view on longevity with a company because that is something that has changed so much. My Dad taught for 30 years before "retiring" to do something else 5 years ago. But that whole time he was in the same school district. The only job change was he started on a 6 month contract (taking over for an early (January) retirement, at which point he went to the jr. high and spent 8 years there before another sr. high english position opened up. I just started my new job a year ago after 9 years in one company. My boyfriend got laid off in July after 8 years where he was, and his new company (a factory) hired him largely because "he'd had only 2 jobs in 14 years".
You have been very dedicated. Don't let them guilt trip you. Look out for you.
Katy
You have been very dedicated. Don't let them guilt trip you. Look out for you.
Katy
Geez, Katy, for you, me, and your Boyfriend, "9 years" seems to be the magic number. This past June was 9 years for me at this company. Sometimes now I think if people looking at your resume see that you've been in one place TOO long, they may think you've gotten stagnant, or don't have enough "diversity" in your experience, so I'm not sure longevity is the medallion of honor it used to be.
Thanks for the pat on the back, I'm actually kinda proud of myself, too. It's taken 48 years to learn to think about MY needs a little, and even though I'm not comfortable with it, I know it's something I NEED to start doing more.
I guess it's a sign of growing up when you make decisions with your head intead of your emotions? Tough one, but most worthy lessons are.
OK, one more boss to break it to. I've only "taken care" of him for about 2 years, and he's in London right now..... can't decide if I should drop him an e-mail starting to prepare him, or wait til he's back and do it in person. I really don't look forward to another "puppy dog" face - email is sounding better and better. (chicken!)
Sue
Thanks for the pat on the back, I'm actually kinda proud of myself, too. It's taken 48 years to learn to think about MY needs a little, and even though I'm not comfortable with it, I know it's something I NEED to start doing more.
I guess it's a sign of growing up when you make decisions with your head intead of your emotions? Tough one, but most worthy lessons are.
OK, one more boss to break it to. I've only "taken care" of him for about 2 years, and he's in London right now..... can't decide if I should drop him an e-mail starting to prepare him, or wait til he's back and do it in person. I really don't look forward to another "puppy dog" face - email is sounding better and better. (chicken!)
Sue
Sue
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
Diagnosed November 2004, Used Asacol and Lialda, sometimes worked, sometimes made it worse. Entocort always works but hate it. Remission only lasts 3-6 months and then back on Entocort. Enterolab test July 2017, now gluten free. Time will tell!
We are all so proud of you! Now go gettem!