Thanks, and and so many have said things that are "right on the money" about the guilt, the difficulty to leave her there even though I believe it is better for her in the long term. She certainly wasn't a contented person here with me and her dementia is steadily progressing. She has made a couple of friends already. She found the key she had "lost" but I think the 16 dollars may be gone forever. HaHa She told me she had wrapped it up in a paper (tissue ?) so I figure it's been put in the trash never to be seen again. If that's all that goes wrong, I'm elated. HaHa
My sister got here late Friday night and will be here until early Tuesday morning. She is visiting Mom alone for the weekend. We plan to take her out for lunch on Monday.
I don't have a dog, Leslie. I have sort of halfway adopted a cat that belonged to someone nearby. He seems to like me better than being there. Actually, he has been very persistant in his quest to make his home here. I have tried to resist getting a pet because I really want to travel later but I find him hard to resist. He's all black and his name is Hershey. When I get time, I'll try to post a picture.
My flare wasn't as close to over as I tought in my original post. I had a couple of days of D after that. I should have known that the nausea was a warning. However, now that I have been able to stay closer to the paleo diet it has improved again. When I was going to see Mom every day, etc., I was sort of catching what I could to eat. I've had 3 days now of eating better and stool has firmed up considerably. I also feel a lot calmer.
Thank you all so much, again.
Love, Shirley
Hello Friends
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
Hi Shirley,
Just wanted to jump in an say hi. You have gotten superb posts, and I could relate to them all. My mom had dementia the last 10 years of her life and was a resident in a longterm care unit, so most of what everyone has shared hit home. You are right about the guilt being the main issue, but it goes with the territory. Sigh. I am thrilled for you that everything is working out so well for now. Three times a week visits are a good goal. It is important for the staff to know that you will be closely supervising your mom's care. But don't be surprised if your mom loses track of your visits. As mom's dementia progressed, there were days when she thought I had been there the day before, and days when she thought I had not been there for weeks.
Regarding your future.......if I were you I wouldn't make too many plans just yet. It might be good to just do NOTHING for a while......chill, decompress, whatever. Try to enjoy each moment, and I'll bet that, over time, it will become obvious (will "come to you") what you'd like to do.
Love,
Polly
P.S. Something you might want to consider........how much vitamin D your mom is taking. I finally was able to get mom's nurses to give 2000 IUs/day, which was way above what they routinely gave the residents. In a group setting your mom will be much more susceptible to colds/flu, etc. so adequate D levels are critical. My mom had far fewer illnesses once I got her level up. Also, every chance I got, I took her outside to sit in the sun.
Just wanted to jump in an say hi. You have gotten superb posts, and I could relate to them all. My mom had dementia the last 10 years of her life and was a resident in a longterm care unit, so most of what everyone has shared hit home. You are right about the guilt being the main issue, but it goes with the territory. Sigh. I am thrilled for you that everything is working out so well for now. Three times a week visits are a good goal. It is important for the staff to know that you will be closely supervising your mom's care. But don't be surprised if your mom loses track of your visits. As mom's dementia progressed, there were days when she thought I had been there the day before, and days when she thought I had not been there for weeks.
Regarding your future.......if I were you I wouldn't make too many plans just yet. It might be good to just do NOTHING for a while......chill, decompress, whatever. Try to enjoy each moment, and I'll bet that, over time, it will become obvious (will "come to you") what you'd like to do.
Love,
Polly
P.S. Something you might want to consider........how much vitamin D your mom is taking. I finally was able to get mom's nurses to give 2000 IUs/day, which was way above what they routinely gave the residents. In a group setting your mom will be much more susceptible to colds/flu, etc. so adequate D levels are critical. My mom had far fewer illnesses once I got her level up. Also, every chance I got, I took her outside to sit in the sun.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.