Been "off" for a while........

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:21 am

Thanks for the post to my other post. Good advice from all concerned and thanks for the additional posts from Polly and Gabes.

I'm still not quite back to "normal" MC wise but close (I think).

Mom is still doing well at the personal care home and she even found the 16 dollars that she hid. I had to laugh... she had tucked it into one of depends. I just didn't think of searching in them. HaHa As I have said "she is a VERY GOOD hider", if she could just remember where she did the hiding.

Her short term memory is worse, I think, but the dementia doesn't seem to be as bad since she has been there for some reason. She is quite pleasant and seems to have a good attitude about being there. Only complaint is them waking her up in the morning in time to go to breakfast. HaHa She likes to sleep late which is amazing to me since she goes to bed so early.

I have made it a point to go when there is a scheduled activity or entertainment and take her there hoping that she will discover that it's nice to get out of her room and interact with people sometimes. It seems to be working to some degree since she went to an exercise class one day (sitting in chairs). That was a few days ago, though, and she hasn't been back as far as I know.

I'm so glad my sister was able to come for a few days because she is now much more calm about Mom since she has seen the place and spent some time with Mom and interacted with the staff a little.

I haven't been able to get as much done at home as I'd hoped. Partly because I feel quite exhausted most of the time. I think I just need some recuperation time.

I'm doing pretty well without the Nexium. Being so busy, I've even been neglecting the supplements I was using so regularly during the intense phase. Leslie, I'm so sorry you are still suffering. I hope you can somehow find the solution soon.

Now I am working on trying to get off the Ambien for sleep. Another reason I may feel so tired. Nothing like trying to make major changes all at once, huh. Don't ask me why I do that because I don't have an answer.

Love, Shirley

Leah · Post by **Leah** » Sat Apr 28, 2012 9:36 am

Hi Shirley. Have you tried melatonin for sleep? It might be a good way to help you get off nexium. It's non addictive and natural. I use it occasionally and it works wonders. I think you will probably need 10 mgs.
Glad to hear things are going well.
Leah

hoosier1 · Post by **hoosier1** » Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:53 pm

Hi Shirley,

Good to hear from you. I am curious to learn about your progress weaning off Ambien as my mother cannot sleep without out. I worry about her getting in the car when she is under its influence, because, she has done so.

Regards,

Rich

Lesley · Post by **Lesley** » Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:20 pm

Shirley,
As a geriatric OT with umpteen years in places like the one your mom is in I know so well of what you speak.
Question - has your mom seen an OT? Is a treatment plan in place? I can ask more questions but they would follow on your answers to these.

As for ambien - What I have done is to decrease the ambien while using melatonin, and then decreasing that as well. I now take 1/4 of each and it works quite well. Every now and again I need another 1/4 of one or the other, but very seldom.
A good night's sleep is essential. I couldn't survive without it.

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Sun Apr 29, 2012 5:39 am

Melatonin - I tried it quite a few years ago but it didn't seem to do much for me at the time. I definitely will try it again though. I had an Ambien last night and had a good night's sleep. I seem to sleep very lightly without it and wake up often (provided I do actually get to sleep).

Ambien - As far as I know I have never done anything odd under the influence of Ambien. No missing food from the fridge, no evidence that I have driven the car or even just been up as far as I can tell. I know that's not true with some people though. I'm sorry, Rich, that your Mom is affected that way and I'd be worried as well.

OT - Mom has had OT in the past - after her fractured hip - both in a Rehab Hospital and at home. Also, when we came here she went to OT in the hospital here for a little while but she refused to continue. She has no OT plan in place now and I seriously doubt she would co-operate. It might benefit her to some degree if she did but, honestly, unless the she is willing to do more than just go through the motions while under observation (which is my Mom) I don't think it would be worth the fight. You can tell me I'm all wet if you like.

All opinions welcome.

We've had two hard freezes in a row at night here. I miss the "fake spring" we had and am really ready for the real thing.

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Sun Apr 29, 2012 5:39 am

Melatonin - I tried it quite a few years ago but it didn't seem to do much for me at the time. I definitely will try it again though. I had an Ambien last night and had a good night's sleep. I seem to sleep very lightly without it and wake up often (provided I do actually get to sleep).

Ambien - As far as I know I have never done anything odd under the influence of Ambien. No missing food from the fridge, no evidence that I have driven the car or even just been up as far as I can tell. I know that's not true with some people though. I'm sorry, Rich, that your Mom is affected that way and I'd be worried as well.

OT - Mom has had OT in the past - after her fractured hip - both in a Rehab Hospital and at home. Also, when we came here she went to OT in the hospital here for a little while but she refused to continue. She has no OT plan in place now and I seriously doubt she would co-operate. It might benefit her to some degree if she did but, honestly, unless the she is willing to do more than just go through the motions while under observation (which is my Mom) I don't think it would be worth the fight. You can tell me I'm all wet if you like.

All opinions welcome.

We've had two hard freezes in a row at night here. I miss the "fake spring" we had and am really ready for the real thing.

Love, Shirley

Post by **tex** » Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:06 am

Hi Shirley,

I didn't realize you were still having freezes up there. That seems a world away from here. (Our low last night was 71). The corn is almost shoulder high here, and wheat harvest will begin this week. The only fly in the ointment is that it's gettin' pretty dry, but so far, everything seems to be hanging on pretty well -- the corn is still growing normally.

I hope you see the real spring pretty soon.

Love,
Tex

Lesley · Post by **Lesley** » Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:37 pm

Shirley, I have such a problem here. OT is the worst marketed profession ever, and it's because most OTs don't really know how to define what they do. And frankly, without definition, their work becomes amorphous and not focused. It's a real problem.

I don't know what the previous OT your mom had did with her, but I would suspect it bored her to tears and seemed totally unnecessary if she refused to go on with it.

There is a lot an experienced OT can do with someone like your mom. And going through the motions is fine. That would give me a good idea of her needs and level and to figure out a treatment plan that could be carried out by aides in the facility.

Feel free to message me and give me whatever info you can, so I can help as much as I can from this distance.

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 5:57 am

Yep Tex it is cold. Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights were all cold with Friday being the coldest - 32 degress. It better be Spring soon.

Love, Maggie

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:44 am

Leslie - what do you do with a person who just doesn't want to do the therapy? Also, the place Mom is doesn't really have therapy aids. It's a personal care home. They have about 70 residents I think. They encourage the residents to go to "exercise class" and they have one for more active residents and one done in chairs with the use of the stretchy bands they use to exercise your muscles. I forget the proper name for them. Mom would never get through the one for more active residents because her legs are weak. She just plain doesn't want to exercise. I had to push her really hard to get her to try the therapy again when we came here and she refused to go back after the initial visit. Finally they convinced her to do a few sessions about how to properly use a cane. After the sessions the cane went into the closet to hibernate where it still is today. She knows she is a candidate for a really bad fall but just doesn't care. She also has a walker which she never uses.

Maggie - it was colder here. We got down into the high twenties and it's windy which makes it seem that much colder. I think we might be due to warm up soon.

Love, Shirley

JFR · Post by **JFR** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 6:54 am

Shirley,

My mother was never a joiner. When she was in assisted living I think she went to the sit down exercise group once but she just thought it was "silly" which pretty much corresponded to how she reacted to things her whole life. Before dementia it was nearly impossible to convince her to do something that she didn't want to do. After the dementia it was just worse. I finally just had to let it go. None of this is easy.

Jean

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 7:01 am

Hi Jean,
I can certainly relate to what you went through. Mom actually seems to be better mentally since moving to the personal care home but I know there will be "upsets" and they are difficult to deal with. I suspect that I will be a lot like her if I make it to 89 (not really saying I WANT to-haha) I have a pretty stubborn streak myself.
Love, Shirley

Lesley · Post by **Lesley** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:41 am

That is really hard.

The only thing I would do is try to simply make friends with her. What can she do really well? What interests her? Cooking? Sewing? Reading? Watching soaps?
I would not introduce myself as a therapist. Just as a younger woman who wants help/company to do something.

Occupational therapy is supposed to address ONLY the things in which the patient is interested, not what the therapist wants the patient to do. No wonder she doesn't want to do it.

Christine. · Post by **Christine.** » Mon Apr 30, 2012 8:54 pm

Gosh I miss worrying about my Mom. She died at 99 last fall and she was funny and happy till the day before she died. I used to get aggravated because mentally she fired on 2 or 3 cylinders in the evenings but her death lefts hole in my life.
Chris

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Tue May 01, 2012 5:25 am

Christine, what a lovely way to remember your Mother. She sounds delightful.

Leslie, She reads some so I have provided books for her. She will read them for a few days, sometimes weeks and then stops for sometimes long periods, but they are always available for her. She is being more social there which is wonderful. The residents don't give her much choice and there are some really nice people there. The staff is great also. So upbeat and friendly. I'm really glad she is having that social interaction there. I could never get her to do anything here. LOL

She used to crochet and embroidery but hasn't in years. I doubt her eyesight is good enough now and I'm pretty sure she'd have a hard time following the patterns (not that that would matter but if she knew she was doing it wrong it would be frustrating for her).

I just try to get her interested in as much as I can. When they are having an activity or special music or something that I think she'd like I try to go and ask her to go with me. She always does. I'm hoping she will start going to things on her own eventually.

Love, Shirley