My nightmare MONTH!!

Zizzle · Post by **Zizzle** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:12 am

Gram took her last breath at 11:35 this morning. She'd been on a morphine drip and had full kidney failure since yesterday. It's remarkable she lasted a week given her health issues. Ultimately the congestive heart failure and failing kidneys prevented her from having the surgery to pin her femur together. She would have been bed-bound if she survived, so we all know this is for the best. But it's so hard to say goodbye to someone who is so sound of mind. My husband took her greetings cards made by our kids and she read them out loud and said she couldn't wait to see them. That was on Thursday. As her condition deteriorated, she started talking in her half-sleep to her deceased sisters, one of whom is her twin, and who she was not allowed to have a relationship with during her married years (bad husband). My grandma nearing death also spoke to people who had gone before her, which makes me think your loved ones come back to get you. Gram talked of not being ready to go, being ready to go, wanting to go home, etc. all in her apparent sleep. This morning, when the nurses did her daily movement, there were no more screams of agony. She was already on her way. I wish her a peaceful journey to her next home, with her sisters by her side, and I hope she continues to watch over us, especially her great-grandson, who she loved so deeply. I know in my heart she will be his guardian angel.

Sheila · Post by **Sheila** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 11:31 am

Zizzle, I am so sorry you have lost your beloved Grandmother and Great-grandmother. I think you are right, she is going home to be with her family who went before her. Her legacy is the love she shared with you and your wonderful memories of her.

Sheila W

JFR · Post by **JFR** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:09 pm

Zizzle,

So sorry for your loss of your grandmother. She sounds like a very loving woman who will be greatly missed.

Jean

Zizzle · Post by **Zizzle** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:16 pm

Funny, she's my husband's grandmother, but she's virtually the only grandmother I've known for the past 19 years. My grandma lived in Guatemala so I barely saw her.

desertrat · Post by **desertrat** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:42 pm

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
John 14:3

Zizzle, my prayers are with you and your family. The Lord's grace is perfect, He knew it was time for your sweet grandmother to come home. No more suffering; now she is with her loved ones and enjoying eternity with her Lord. Praise God!

Please take time to take care of yourself. Relax, pray, enjoy your family and take comfort that your grandmother is in Heaven.

Mandy

Leah · Post by **Leah** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 4:32 pm

What a nice way to tell us of her passing. I can feel your love for her.

Leah

Deb · Post by **Deb** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:14 pm

Zizzle, my tears and prayers are with you. Mandy is right. She is in a better place. Love, Deb

Martha · Post by **Martha** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:06 pm

Dear Zizzle,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband's beloved grandmother. She sounds like a courageous woman, and blessed to have you and your family to love her and care about her. I pray that your whole family will be comforted in your time of sorrow, and that the grief will pass soon and you will have only the good memories to make you smile.

Love,
Martha

wonderwoman · Post by **wonderwoman** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 6:35 pm

Sorry to hear of your loss. I was the youngest in the family and therefore all of my grandparents were deceased before I was born. With that in mind I try to be a special Grandma to my 13 grandchildren.

Lesley · Post by **Lesley** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:50 pm

Sorry you lost her, but I am so glad she was surrounded by people who loved her. She clearly deserved that love.

marihabs · Post by **marihabs** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 7:50 pm

Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours, Zizzle.

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Mon Jul 16, 2012 8:19 pm

I'm so sorry that your beloved grandmother is gone. What a tribute to her that you consider her your grandmother, too. She sounds very special.

Thank you for sharing her last moments with us. It is nice to hear confirmation that our cherished family members who have preceded us will be there when we leave this life. I'm sure that comforts you, too.

Gloria

jmayk8 · Post by **jmayk8** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:10 am

so sorry for your loss Z, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Jenny

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:45 am

Dear Zizzle,

My prayers are with you and your family. My only grandparent died when I was 3 so I remember so little of my grandmother but admire your love of your husband's grandmother. Thank you for sharing her last days with us and so comforting to know that she had help going home.

Love, Maggie

:bouqueofpinkroses:

Zizzle · Post by **Zizzle** » Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:48 pm

I'm in NY all week for what. An only be described as a "big, fat Italian funeral." Family drama, too much food, but everyone is fine. The grief is lifting and we're beginning to celebrate her life more. I created the slide show for the wake with 120 pictures of Gram with her loved ones. Even set it to music. Problem is it kept me up until 2 am last night. No one can watch the show without crying.

I have to decide if my kids, ages 5 and 8, will be allowed to see the open casket tomorrow at the 4-hr wake. My son saw his great grandpa when he was 3 and doesn't remember. From what I'm told, this could create a lasting memory, and possibly a disturbing one. Any thoughts? The kids have been relatively unphased so far by the news of her death. They do ask lots of questions, but do not seem sad or scared.

My MC is a mess, just very frequent, but I feel ok. I bought Bubbies dill pickles and locally fermented saurkraut at the health food store. My son is loving the pickles and I'm eating a little of both each day. Could that be contributing to the frequency? I need to adjust to the bazillions of bacteria I'm ingesting?

Anyway, 2 crazy days ahead as the extended family arrives into town. Lots of food deliveries, only some of it safe. but I'm doing ok.