Feeling sorry for myself

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nancyl
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Post by nancyl »

Connie,
I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you. Having a caring doctor may turn things around for you.

Sending hugs your way.

Nancy
Stanz
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Post by Stanz »

Thanks, Tex, hopefully she will prove to be a good doctor for me. It's probably an advantage that she's fresh out of med school.

Gabes, I've sent you my new address, so send some pounds over anytime, including the breast tissue.

Carol, that's a good question and a good suggestion about the letter, which is something I've done many times in my life, particularly in dealing with my family in the aftermath of the suicides of 2 siblings. I was actually kind of surprised to hear the things that came out of my mouth in talk therapy a year ago. I needed to get out of that house, for my own sanity and I really don't regret leaving. He wants to remain friends and that's not something I think I can do right now. I'm sure I would advise a friend to do something fun and positive and find ways to make themselves eat, as I know that starvation isn't helping my mental state.

I did have a lot of fun buying new furniture and am proud of myself for getting a MacBook, a TV for a monitor, a printer, modem, router, keyboard and actually figuring out how to set them up and get them all working, as I wasn't technically savvy. I'm also proud of all the work I did here before I left 9 yrs. ago, as I hadn't lived here with all the remodeling I did before I left and it's a great house with neighbors I've known for a long time who are happy to have me back. The yard, however is pretty intimidating, had to cut down 2 huge trees and still have a lot of cleanup to do there, and I have moles that are making me nuts. I'm sure I'd be much happier if I got all that done, I just can't seem to get myself to move and the days are just flying by w/little progress. Was supposed to do a skydive with friends in June and that kind of thing is always empowering.

Anyway, thanks all for your encouragement, will try to actively drag myself out of my pity party.
Resolved MC symptoms successfully w/L-Glutamine, Probiotics and Vitamins, GF since 8/'09. DX w/MC 10/'09.
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DebE13
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Post by DebE13 »

Hang in there Connie!

I've found that dehydration is a biggie for me. I rarely am thirsty and can go the entire day without drinking anything except my two cups of coffee which make things worse. I drag my water bottle around with me all day at work as a reminder.

I was just about to start my own pity party until I read your post. What a hard week for you. I just finished making a batch of my favorite cookies that I haven't made in probably close to 2 years. I decided I would make a treat for the rest of the family since I used to cook and bake every Sunday and homemade goodies were always on hand. Things have been sparse since I lost my zest for being in the kitchen and I wasn't emotionally ready to bake something I couldn't enjoy up until now. I sighed a few times over the bowl and think it's the first time ever that I didn't eat cookie dough out of the bowl. I do have feelings of guilt baking treats that I now know are so unhealthy for us, but I know my family misses the way I used to be in the kitchen and I was up to it today. The first batch came out of the oven and they were all crumbles- don't know what the heck I did but I started sprialing into a pity party wondering why I can't bake anymore, mad that I wasted my time baking when I could have been doing something else, frustrated that I now have to wash all the dishes for something that didn't turn out...... the second batch came out fine and the household was pleasantly surprised.

If you find the solution to the moles, voles, and chipmunks- let me know. I don't like using chemicals/pesticides and would love a "natural" way to rid the varmits from my garden. I have a small city lot that I've made into my own farm. :grin: The chipmunks have burrowed under my raspberries and I think they're killing them. I used to get tons and barely got any this year.

Good luck with your electronics, I'm in the same boat. I'm debating right now if I'm going to get and ipad or a new laptop. I'm overwhelmed with all the information out there and have painfully tryed to decide what I want for the past two weeks.

Maybe your new doc will be a Godsend and that's the reason you had such a crappy week- to find her.
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Post by Stanz »

Thanks, Deb, yeah, I'm my own worst enemy food/drink/wise. I have a ton of great juices and foods here and I just literally have to force myself to eat.

How nice of you to bake stuff for the family. I baked a GF cake for my SIL yesterday that my granddaughter actually asked for for her last birthday. Pretty simple recipe your whole family might like, works fine w/oil instead of butter.

Lemon Poppyseed Cake

I Yellow GF Betty Crocker cake mix
1 Small box instant lemon pudding
3T. poppy seeds
2 tsp. GF Vanilla
1/2 C butter, softened
1C water
5-6 Large eggs beaten in one at a time at med/High speed.

Put into greased and GF floured bundt pan and bake @ 350 for 45 minutes.

Allow to cool 15 min, transfer to plate and frost with:
2 cups powdered sugar
Grated rind of 1 orange
Juice from orange to form stiff dough.

Spoon onto warm cake and let it drizzle down the sides.

I used to make this with a regular cake mix, but this is just as good.

I finally bought a trap that will kill the moles, caught one a wk ago, but have come up blank since then, even though I see new mounds and move the trap every other day.

I love my MacBook, BTW, since you're thinking of possibly getting one. It's a 2009 w/OS X Lion 10.7.5, Intel core and was upgraded with all the bells and whistles by a guy who buys old ones and fixes them up and resells them who I found on Craigslist. Maybe I was lucky, but you might want to PM me, as he's been golden for me and will ship and has walked me through many of the steps I needed to get to have a fully functional "office" now.
Resolved MC symptoms successfully w/L-Glutamine, Probiotics and Vitamins, GF since 8/'09. DX w/MC 10/'09.
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Lesley
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Post by Lesley »

Hey!
WTF didn't you write? I was thinking about you today and was going to ask what is going on with you, but had my own pity party over the past couple of days (what was in the air?), not nearly as bad as yours.

Somehow I am not shocked at the weight loss. You haven't been eating and you have been working your butt off. You can't do what you have been doing with no fuel. You know that.

Hugs and more to you! Emailing you now.l
CathyMe.
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Post by CathyMe. »

Thinking of you today Connie. Hope things are going better. Vent away. I'm so glad you found a new, caring doctor.
amberlink09
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Post by amberlink09 »

Hey Connie, I hope you are doing better today! I know we all have these days and need a little support, luckily this forum is full of people who understand, because I know most of my family and friends just can't. I have also been feeling pretty badly lately, and though I can't imagine what going through a divorce is like, my long term boyfriend just recently broke up with me because he couldn't deal with my illness anymore. So, I've been pretty down lately and I'm currently trying to drag myself out of my pity party just by doing little things for myself and surrounding myself with people. I've also been very focused on trying to maintain my health and take care of myself. I agree with the letter writing, I've done that and it REALLY helped! I hope you start feeling better soon.
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cjbndtsn
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Post by cjbndtsn »

Connie......that recipe looks great. I'm getting ready to go the store and added these items to the list. I've got to try this. One of my favorite sweets I've found that I like is the Udi's lemon muffins but they are expensive to by each week. Lemon flavor has become my friend so I can't wait to try this. Thanks for the recipe..............and most important............take care of yourself 1st!!!!!!! I've been doing things that I want lately and have been much happier and calmer.[/u]
Cathy
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Post by Stanz »

Cathy,

Please note that I changed the recipe to include 2 Tsp. GF Vanilla.

Amber, I'm sorry to hear that your BF couldn't deal with your illness, I think my illness played a large part in the demise of my marriage as well. I don't think any of us would be here at PP if we weren't already "seekers" and curious and frankly those are 2 pretty important personality characteristics to have, so it's their loss, IMO.

Lesley, I'm sorry I've been AWOL, just haven't felt like I had much to say recently.

Connie
Resolved MC symptoms successfully w/L-Glutamine, Probiotics and Vitamins, GF since 8/'09. DX w/MC 10/'09.
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DebE13
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Post by DebE13 »

Yum- that recipe looks great. Any substitutes for the eggs besides bananas? Used them for the paleo muffins & it didn't sit well with me.
Stanz
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Post by Stanz »

I've never tried it with an egg substitute, Deb, and adding bananas to this wouldn't taste good, IMO. I found this site, but some of the substitutes would be allergens for many of the people here: http://www.pioneerthinking.com/cooking/ ... ggsub.html
Resolved MC symptoms successfully w/L-Glutamine, Probiotics and Vitamins, GF since 8/'09. DX w/MC 10/'09.
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