Just me Stopping to say hi, I am very down right now, fever

[Wendy]

Hello and Good Evening to all

I am just so sorry that I am so out to lunch with everyone here. I barely have been out of bed for the last few days. Its like everything is flaring on me, as well as my bum problems. And its is only a low grade fever, around 100, but my head feels like its spinning and I'm just in more body pain that usual. And my legs keep feeling like they are burning. Anyone know what that is about. they Actually feel like they are burning, or freezing. Does that sound like anything anyone has ever had or heard about. The main thing is that I am weak, and dizzy, dissoriented. Okay
whining is done.

one other thing too, seems my memory is getting a bit worse too, so forgive me is I screw up names and or events.
Well I guess its not going to work for me to put a picture from my browser.

Just wanted to let you know I wish all of you well, and even if I am not here everyday, you are never far from my thoughts. Ijust don't have the energy to think straight. You know when you have the flu, even your skin hurts, and taking a bath is so fatiguing you don't know how you can do it, but you have to wash your hair, its a must. Lately, its like I have a flu, even though I don't. And the depressing part that gets to me, is knowning that its not going to be over in a week. So I try to not think long range anymore. ""

Sooooooooooooooooooooo

thats the way it is here right now, I'm here but just not up to par to be more supportive to all here.

Hugs
From
The Gentle Hug Girl
Wendy

[barbaranoela]

Hi Wendy-----I cant even begin to wonder whats going on with U--
I can only say---100 isa low grade fever---some people say thats their usual ---I know we go up and down but staying their--*to-me*--just indicates something is amiss---

Your body aches could be another signal---
Could U be DEHYDRATED??? but I think U are smart enuf to know to keep yourself drinking fluids~~~~

And memory---well speaking for myself, I know its cause I am totally bored---on edge--and honestly am like on another planet---depression no-doubt part of that---and asking whats to be depressed about?? I dont even know!!!
I am told something and the next second I dont even remember what was told me--
U have so much running thru your life Wendy---so maybe your body resistance is *down the tubes*

I hope U feel better---and now its our turn to be your *support* system-
So just let it all out---we have BIG SHOULDERS---

luve ya much. Barbara

[Wendy]

Thanks so much Barb. I can always count on you for words of wisdom. I am drinking lots of fluids, but just not eating much. Its almost like I have to force it down. Nothing tastes that amazing. I am going to be getting my annual check up soon. The thing is that the doctors here really don't know me, they also don't have all my medical history and we have had trouble getting the lab reports. Soooo, if I tell them something that happened they are just taking my word for it, and really not taking it as truth. They think I am over stating what has been historically happening. In the past when I had a great doctor, after having I think 3-4 postive results with my blood work and then some negatives then positives, she said that sometimes that would happen, and sometimes if it goes into remission nothing will show up, but it doesn't mean that I don't have it. So now I am confused, and I don't seem to be able to get the doctors to be honest and open with me, like they think if they tell me something I won't understand or I don't know. When I first got sick with CC, at the time my doctor didn't take anything too serious either, when my bloodwork started to show my red and white blood cells going crazy and other things, she put it down to me smoking at the time. She said that because nothing else showed that could be deciphered. And it was like that for about six months before I started to have the D, which I had, had off and on anyway prior to that, so no red flags jumped up at us. But we always discussed it, and she always discussed every test ever done. So I understood things. When I finally started to lose weight, she was going on maternity leave, but before she left she had sent a referral to my GI at the time, thank goodness, as he was the doc that took care of me till she got back. It was right after that that I fell from the nerves in my spine being pinched off, paralyzing me temporarily. My blood work at the time still showed the RH factor being positive, then once I moved some things showed up, but again, didn't have the doctors available to follow through. Then I moved again, everything gained was lost, and it is like I had to go back to the beginning. My CC was in remission, or so I have been told, even though I had some problems, the GI said there was none present anymore. Since then, I have more of the D, nothing like in the beginning though. But the GI also didn't really think there was any big deal with CC either. He is one of those doctor who put it in the same catagory as IBS, and I know it would be a lost cause to even go back to him. He would never ever give me anything more then the asacol, as I asked him for that, and his remark was that yeah, he could give me that as it was a relatively safe medicine for something like CC, and if it helped good, but if it didn't there was nothing he could do. Sooo, that is what I am taking. As for the growth they seen, he would not elaborate, said that it WAS probably nothing. And he did not think it necessary to keep checking on the polyps growing on my gullbladder or the stones that they found either. So when I feel new pain from my insides I really don't know what to do??? I did not have a fever for all my adult life even when I had infections, ever, but again, they say that it is just because I am sick, and its nothing. My experience is that if it is new, it is my body saying something. It is just that I really don't have anyone that will bother to take it more seriously, or if we should. I just know that I can't get out of bed some days, I have a hard time even taking a bath. I am done in from just that. I have no energy and I am not looking forward to Christmas, I am not going to put up a tree, I just can't face doing something that I don't have the energy for. Or the pain that comes after I do anything. I try to keep my thoughts on my grand baby coming, but wonder how I am going to be any help with my health in this state. Just don't know what to do anymore. I take anti depressants, 225mg. I really don't want to take more then that. There is so much I want to do, but I just can't seem to find the strength to get it done.

Anyway, that is my whine for today. Sometimes it helps that I write it down. I have been doing some writing in my journal also. I know I will get out of this, I have to think that way. Sometimes its just hard to think of six months from now, which to me is six more months of pain, D, no energy and the same as usual.

Things just gotto go up, since I am down here right now. There is only one way to go now, right?

Anyway, thanks for listening.

Gentle hugs
Wendy

[JJ]

Hugs to you Wendy....hope you feel better soon...Love, Jill

[Alice]

Wendy,

I left a message for you in the birthday room by mistake

Love,
Alice

[Mars]

Wendy,

I sure hope that you are feeling better soon! Take care of yourself!

Love and very gentle hugs to you,

Mars

[Polly]

Oh Wendy!

I WANT YOU TO FEEL BETTER! NOW! You have had such a difficult time of it, haven't you? I just wish there was something I could do to make it all better. You are such a trouper, IMHO. Please don't feel that you have to be "supportive" whenever you post. It is always a pleasure to read about your experiences, daughters, Pebbles, landlords, etc. And, as sick as you are so much of the time, you are truly an inspiration to many. You just keep going (like the proverbial energizer bunny) to the extent that you can. And you are still able to enjoy life much of the time. I find your posts interesting and heartwarming.....always.

Love you lots,

Polly

P.S. I have sent you a private email message (PM) too!

[jenilake]

Hi Wendy,

I just don't understand why these docs can't help you! I know how frustrating it is to go to doc after doc and have them tell you, they don't know, they can't help, they don't see anything wrong. I have wanted to literally scream in their waiting rooms! There must be someone who can help you, you are far too young to be having all these problems.

Sorry for the rant, it just makes me so mad that no one seems to be taking you seriously and helping you.

I truly hope you find some kind of doc that can help, NP...Osteopath...Chiropracter?

I totally wish you well Wendy, I hope so much that you can find someone to help!! I understand the depression too, who wouldn't be depressed, being sick all the time?

Please keep us informed of how you are.

Love, KathyP

[MaggieRedwings]

Hi Wendy,

I too have been among the missing but seem to be doing better than you are. Memory is getting to me too but you are having a real bad road to walk right now.

I do hope you feel better soon and my prayers are being sent your way.

Hope to be back in touch with everyone soon, but work is really swamping me right now - last week was 70 1/2 hrs. I am taking Friday off as comp time.

Love you Wendy, Maggie