Perhaps I'm just weird and going through a funk, but in the past year, I've been struggling with increased anxiety and overall sadness, and, as this also correlates with the time I've been struggling with lc, I'd be curious to know if others have experienced this. I'd also love to know what you've done to deal with anxious or sad feelings/what you've found helpful.
I've always have a bit more anxiety than most (I suspect) but have noticed a dramatic increase more recently.
anxiety and/or depression
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
I think that it would be abnormal to be diagnosed with a chronic disease that is a challenge to one's life style as this one is, and NOT have some amount of anxiety and certainly, sadness. As Tex points out, we tend to be people who are stressed to the max when we acquire this disease.
There is a certain amount of loss that we all cope with when thinking about how our lifestyles have to change. While I am still in the acute stages of this (though I am happy to say I have been without D for nearly two weeks and am actually a bit constipated hooray, hooray!) colitis, I would be a liar if said that I didn't resent having to give up foods that I love because my gut just can't take it any more. Someone said earlier in a post that this was a disease of one day at a time, and it surely is! If I can say to myself that I all I have to do is stay away from certain foods for just one day--just 24 hours--I can do it. Pretty soon one day becomes two days and two days become a week or a month, etc, etc. But looking ahead and speculating on what I might do in the future, just depresses me and is counterproductive for me.
Being able to talk about it and have other people identify with what I am going through is really, really helpful for me. As long as I am not alone or the ONLY person who has had to deal with this, it keeps me going. Being able to ask other people who have struggled with this a lot longer than I have and hearing stories that make mine seem miniscule in proportion also gives me a great deal of perspective. I am not dying, I am just inconvenienced by an inconvenient disease. I feel like one of the canaries in the mine and I think that we all are! Our food system is screwed up and our delicate little systems are alarming us to wake up and start eating right as well as speak up for ourselves to get what we need.
In many ways this disease is a gift: It slows me down and makes me more aware of people, things, and the environment around me. I can no longer keep my head down as I push onward. I am made to slow down by the fact that it takes me twice as long to cook my food. I'm just cooking again like my mother or grandmother might have. I appreciate what I can eat. I get to buy some new clothes to fit on a much smaller body. And last but certainly not least, there is a whole group of new people I have become acquainted with from all over the world who I share something in common with!
That said, if I felt that my anxiety and sadness was making it hard to function, I would consult with my doctor and try to think with his/her help, about what I could do in lieu of taking meds for anxiety or depression. Good luck, Jennifer and know that you are not alone!
There is a certain amount of loss that we all cope with when thinking about how our lifestyles have to change. While I am still in the acute stages of this (though I am happy to say I have been without D for nearly two weeks and am actually a bit constipated hooray, hooray!) colitis, I would be a liar if said that I didn't resent having to give up foods that I love because my gut just can't take it any more. Someone said earlier in a post that this was a disease of one day at a time, and it surely is! If I can say to myself that I all I have to do is stay away from certain foods for just one day--just 24 hours--I can do it. Pretty soon one day becomes two days and two days become a week or a month, etc, etc. But looking ahead and speculating on what I might do in the future, just depresses me and is counterproductive for me.
Being able to talk about it and have other people identify with what I am going through is really, really helpful for me. As long as I am not alone or the ONLY person who has had to deal with this, it keeps me going. Being able to ask other people who have struggled with this a lot longer than I have and hearing stories that make mine seem miniscule in proportion also gives me a great deal of perspective. I am not dying, I am just inconvenienced by an inconvenient disease. I feel like one of the canaries in the mine and I think that we all are! Our food system is screwed up and our delicate little systems are alarming us to wake up and start eating right as well as speak up for ourselves to get what we need.
In many ways this disease is a gift: It slows me down and makes me more aware of people, things, and the environment around me. I can no longer keep my head down as I push onward. I am made to slow down by the fact that it takes me twice as long to cook my food. I'm just cooking again like my mother or grandmother might have. I appreciate what I can eat. I get to buy some new clothes to fit on a much smaller body. And last but certainly not least, there is a whole group of new people I have become acquainted with from all over the world who I share something in common with!
That said, if I felt that my anxiety and sadness was making it hard to function, I would consult with my doctor and try to think with his/her help, about what I could do in lieu of taking meds for anxiety or depression. Good luck, Jennifer and know that you are not alone!
Jane
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis 12/19/12
"When it gets dark enough,you can see the stars."
Charles A. Beard
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis 12/19/12
"When it gets dark enough,you can see the stars."
Charles A. Beard
Thank you, Jane. I did call a counselor and make an apt. for next week as I am feeling like I might need a little extra help dealing with things. I imagine I am feeling worse lately because my D is back pretty bad. Woke up with an accident. I suspect I have the flu (as I'm extremely rigid with my eating and am still on the rice, pork, and mushy veggies diet), although I have no idea how I would have caught it as I've become quite obsessive with hand washing. I keep telling myself I will get better, but then, on days like today I feel like this is going to be my life from here on out, and honestly, I just can't live like this. Prior to diagnosis, I enjoyed competing in triathlons, hiking, going on all day bike rides with my hubby, just living life, and now I feel like I'm just trying to get by.
I suspect, while I wait for my health to return, I need to find alternative ways to enjoy life.
I suspect, while I wait for my health to return, I need to find alternative ways to enjoy life.
It may be an opportunity to learn some sedentary activities like knitting, crocheting, woodworking, cooking, etc. Things that will keep you close to home, but feel productive. Very meditative, but also something that has action and productivity to it so that you don't feel like you are wasting time. When my body feels out of control, it is very hard (I think especially for an active person) to think that it will not be this way forever. I have to believe that it won't or I would not be able to deal with it.
Jane
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis 12/19/12
"When it gets dark enough,you can see the stars."
Charles A. Beard
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis 12/19/12
"When it gets dark enough,you can see the stars."
Charles A. Beard
Excellent post, Jane!
Jane is quite correct — it comes with the turf. As virtually all of us discover (despite the fact that our GI docs are oblivious to this part of the disease), this is a life-altering disease, and as such, it almost always causes us to go through the 5 stages of grief as described by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, years ago. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that adjusting to this disease is almost as hard on us as adjusting to the death of a loved one, because we have to adjust to the "death" of a cherished part of our lifestyle.
From Wikipedia, describing the 5 stages of grief that we all go through:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_modelThe stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:[2]
Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death. Denial can be conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, or the reality of the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism and some people can become locked in this stage.
Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Anger can manifest itself in different ways. People can be angry with themselves, or with others, and especially those who are close to them. It is important to remain detached and nonjudgmental when dealing with a person experiencing anger from grief.
Bargaining — "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just do something to buy more time..." People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. For example "Can we still be friends?.." when facing a break-up. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it's a matter of life or death.
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. Depression could be referred to as the dress rehearsal for the 'aftermath'. It is a kind of acceptance with emotional attachment. It's natural to feel sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty when going through this stage. Feeling those emotions shows that the person has begun to accept the situation.
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals begin to come to terms with their mortality, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. This stage varies according to the person's situation. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief.
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to people suffering from terminal illness. She later expanded this theoretical model to apply to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). Such losses may also include significant life events such as the death of a loved one, major rejection, end of a relationship or divorce, drug addiction, incarceration, the onset of a disease or chronic illness, an infertility diagnosis, as well many tragedies and disasters.
As stated before, the Kübler-Ross Model can be used for multiple situations where people are experiencing a significant loss. The subsections below explain how the model is applied differently in a few specific situations. These are just some of the many examples that Kübler-Ross wanted her model to be used for.
It helps, of course, if you can see a silver lining or two, as Jane pointed out. Most of us try to cope with the stress, anxiety, and depression by means of some sort of stress relief routine. Yoga, running, bodybuilding, meditation, listening to good music, listening to meditation tapes, or whatever works for us will help to take our minds off the feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and deprivation that try to creep into our minds at every opportunity. If we occupy our mind with more positive thoughts, the negative thoughts will have no place to park.
I was lucky, because I live on a working farm, and so anytime I wasn't too sick to be out and about, there was always plenty of physical labor that needed to be done, to take my mind off my misery, and the physical work helped me to relax and sleep better at night.
Once we get through the grieving process, and reset our priorities, recovery becomes much easier.
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
I agree....that was a great post, Jane! May need to print it out and read it every now and then.
@Tex...thanks for sharing!
@Jennifer....I'm like you in that my anxiety level is worse than most, I believe. I, in fact, have Generalized Anxiety disorder, so it's been tough. Unfortunately, I take meds for my condition which I'm not too happy about but they seem to work....just not as well as they used to. When I'm down and stressed I binge eat. Which is exactly what I did last night with a bag of corn chips. My gut told me immediately that I was being a bad girl. No D but I had pain and nausea that lasted about 30 minutes. I'm sure you're smart enough not to binge eat. Apparently, I wasn't thinking too clearly. I hope the D you are experiencing is short-lived. But I know how you feel. Thinking I might get D last night sent my anxiety level into overdrive.
Has that bad pain gone away yet in your lower abdomen? I hope I'm not confusing you with someone else!
Terri
@Tex...thanks for sharing!
@Jennifer....I'm like you in that my anxiety level is worse than most, I believe. I, in fact, have Generalized Anxiety disorder, so it's been tough. Unfortunately, I take meds for my condition which I'm not too happy about but they seem to work....just not as well as they used to. When I'm down and stressed I binge eat. Which is exactly what I did last night with a bag of corn chips. My gut told me immediately that I was being a bad girl. No D but I had pain and nausea that lasted about 30 minutes. I'm sure you're smart enough not to binge eat. Apparently, I wasn't thinking too clearly. I hope the D you are experiencing is short-lived. But I know how you feel. Thinking I might get D last night sent my anxiety level into overdrive.
Has that bad pain gone away yet in your lower abdomen? I hope I'm not confusing you with someone else!
Terri
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis in July, 2012 then with Celiac in November, 2012.
Hi, Terri,
Yes, the pain did go away, although it returns intermittently. But I don't think it's my appendix, and I think it can wait until I see my GI Feb. 6th. I suspect I may need some meds to help me with my anxiety. I have an apt. with a counselor and my regular dr. set up for next week and plan to talk to them then. I've always dealt with my emotions through running, but my joints, at least for now, have prevented me from running. Plus, I'm still pretty malnourished so would probably pass out if I tried to run. lol. But hopefully I will get that back. Endorphins are wonderful things!
Yes, the pain did go away, although it returns intermittently. But I don't think it's my appendix, and I think it can wait until I see my GI Feb. 6th. I suspect I may need some meds to help me with my anxiety. I have an apt. with a counselor and my regular dr. set up for next week and plan to talk to them then. I've always dealt with my emotions through running, but my joints, at least for now, have prevented me from running. Plus, I'm still pretty malnourished so would probably pass out if I tried to run. lol. But hopefully I will get that back. Endorphins are wonderful things!
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Gabes-Apg
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 8332
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:12 pm
- Location: Hunter Valley NSW Australia
Jennifer
it can be overwhelming living with MC, the diet changes, the lifestyle changes, feeling alienated, and most days it feels like the only people that 'get you' are on a computer screen!!!
majority of people have never heard of MC and do not understand what explosive D can be. and of course that to have explosive D is very shame based experience.
I am one that made quite big changes to my life to live with MC, I changed jobs to one that didnt involve travel, i moved 200km from a capital city to a smaller regional centre so life was less stressful, and I have stuck to my MC eating plan for 3 years. I am 43 years young, divorced living alone, with no family nearby, I have to be well enough to work and support myself.
I have given up activites like camping - now I am doing photography and LOVE it. If i feel well, i pack a rice protein shake and head out and do some photos,
I have some other crafts i have taken up for the days where i need to be a bit less physical.
Friends wise, the people who do make the effort and support me in my MC management plan are my real friends. For xmas one friend gave me a gift voucher for the butchers where i buy my grass fed meat!!! the butcher said no one had ever asked them to do that before. Others make sure that i have glasses and cups with no risk of contamination etc
If you read some of the posts in the success stories area this will help you to see - YEP it is all worth it. Every ounce of energy you invest, changes you make, all the patience you learn and apply, is worth it.
I agree with Tex and the stages, we all go through them in one form or another, and in some cases when other medical issues other than MC come along you thing 'man isnt MC bad enough why am I dealing with more crap!!!'
Changes doesnt have to mean sacrifice, it can mean enhancement, it can mean finding an activity that you didnt know you would like until you started doing it.
Most of all, MC dx gave me some amazing friends, the people of this forum. I have never met a bunch of wonderful people who give this much unconditionally! it is truely magic to have them in one place.
in the beginning it was like, some days are diamonds, some days are stone; then over time there will be more good days than bad ones, it will happen and you wont realise it until a milestone event and you look back and realise the progress you have made.
it can be overwhelming living with MC, the diet changes, the lifestyle changes, feeling alienated, and most days it feels like the only people that 'get you' are on a computer screen!!!
majority of people have never heard of MC and do not understand what explosive D can be. and of course that to have explosive D is very shame based experience.
I am one that made quite big changes to my life to live with MC, I changed jobs to one that didnt involve travel, i moved 200km from a capital city to a smaller regional centre so life was less stressful, and I have stuck to my MC eating plan for 3 years. I am 43 years young, divorced living alone, with no family nearby, I have to be well enough to work and support myself.
I have given up activites like camping - now I am doing photography and LOVE it. If i feel well, i pack a rice protein shake and head out and do some photos,
I have some other crafts i have taken up for the days where i need to be a bit less physical.
Friends wise, the people who do make the effort and support me in my MC management plan are my real friends. For xmas one friend gave me a gift voucher for the butchers where i buy my grass fed meat!!! the butcher said no one had ever asked them to do that before. Others make sure that i have glasses and cups with no risk of contamination etc
If you read some of the posts in the success stories area this will help you to see - YEP it is all worth it. Every ounce of energy you invest, changes you make, all the patience you learn and apply, is worth it.
I agree with Tex and the stages, we all go through them in one form or another, and in some cases when other medical issues other than MC come along you thing 'man isnt MC bad enough why am I dealing with more crap!!!'
Changes doesnt have to mean sacrifice, it can mean enhancement, it can mean finding an activity that you didnt know you would like until you started doing it.
Most of all, MC dx gave me some amazing friends, the people of this forum. I have never met a bunch of wonderful people who give this much unconditionally! it is truely magic to have them in one place.
in the beginning it was like, some days are diamonds, some days are stone; then over time there will be more good days than bad ones, it will happen and you wont realise it until a milestone event and you look back and realise the progress you have made.
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
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Gabes-Apg
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 8332
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:12 pm
- Location: Hunter Valley NSW Australia
Jennifer
i do have some great friends, i have been totally transparent about the MC with friends and work etc, i am not ashamed by it, i havent done anything wrong.
they all see how hard I have worked to elminate the symptoms, nurtured and allowed by body to heal, and my attitude, making the most of every day.
with that they understand why i am particular about what i eat, drink, my routine and what i do.
I have adapted cake reciepes to be gabe safe which some them try to copy as they like them more than normal cakes!
and they understand that there are days that i plan to do something and my body decides it is a rest day and they are never offended if i change plans.
give yourself time, it took me a good 12 months (or more) to work through the stages, and it is ok to put yourself first guilt free!!!
again something that back in childhood we were sometimes chastised for or told we were selfish - to me that is crap! in MC world nurturing yourself is a healing gift
hugs Jennifer (must warn you, in aus we are having a heat wave, i am doing my weekly cook up so it is a bit sweaty!)
i do have some great friends, i have been totally transparent about the MC with friends and work etc, i am not ashamed by it, i havent done anything wrong.
they all see how hard I have worked to elminate the symptoms, nurtured and allowed by body to heal, and my attitude, making the most of every day.
with that they understand why i am particular about what i eat, drink, my routine and what i do.
I have adapted cake reciepes to be gabe safe which some them try to copy as they like them more than normal cakes!
and they understand that there are days that i plan to do something and my body decides it is a rest day and they are never offended if i change plans.
give yourself time, it took me a good 12 months (or more) to work through the stages, and it is ok to put yourself first guilt free!!!
again something that back in childhood we were sometimes chastised for or told we were selfish - to me that is crap! in MC world nurturing yourself is a healing gift
hugs Jennifer (must warn you, in aus we are having a heat wave, i am doing my weekly cook up so it is a bit sweaty!)
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
-
Carriagehouse
- Adélie Penguin
- Posts: 99
- Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2012 11:46 pm
- Location: Oregon
That was a wonderful and inspiring post, Jane. And thanks for reminding me of the five stages of grief, Tex. i lost my first husband when my children were aged 4 and 6 and I never thought I would survive it. My kids were the driving force that kept me going, and now I have grandchildren I want to be around for - hopefully in an active state and able to participate in their lives.
Jennifer, I have been struggling off and on with depression since being diagnosed - some of it caused by supplements and some of it caused by thinking about all the things I have to give up. But I keep logging onto this board and reading all of the inspiring and encouraging stories of those who were diagnosed before me, and I know I will get a handle on this, too.
I am a perfectionist and have always been very active. I'm Learning to let the unimportant things go, but the fear of being active out in the world still gets me down. I walked 5-6 miles everyday, but now I am too afraid of getting out there, and not getting back in time. My family bought me an elliptical machine for Christmas so I don't have to leave the house and it has given me back the freedom to exercise ....until I discovered how dangerous it can be to be a Grammie (see my earlier post about wrenching my knee ;) But I know the elliptical will be waiting for me when I heal, just like I know life will improve when my gut heals. The recommendations to find alternative ways to be creative and active are good ones!
Jennifer, I have been struggling off and on with depression since being diagnosed - some of it caused by supplements and some of it caused by thinking about all the things I have to give up. But I keep logging onto this board and reading all of the inspiring and encouraging stories of those who were diagnosed before me, and I know I will get a handle on this, too.
I am a perfectionist and have always been very active. I'm Learning to let the unimportant things go, but the fear of being active out in the world still gets me down. I walked 5-6 miles everyday, but now I am too afraid of getting out there, and not getting back in time. My family bought me an elliptical machine for Christmas so I don't have to leave the house and it has given me back the freedom to exercise ....until I discovered how dangerous it can be to be a Grammie (see my earlier post about wrenching my knee ;) But I know the elliptical will be waiting for me when I heal, just like I know life will improve when my gut heals. The recommendations to find alternative ways to be creative and active are good ones!
Leslie
~~~~
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis on December 5, 2012
True friendship is like sound health ... the value is seldom appreciated until it is lost ~ Charles Caleb Colton
~~~~
Diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis on December 5, 2012
True friendship is like sound health ... the value is seldom appreciated until it is lost ~ Charles Caleb Colton
Leslie, I'm sorry to hear you hurt your knee, especially reading you, too, find great enjoyment in outside activity. I'm also sorry to hear you lost your husband. I imagine that's a wound that never truly heals. But I'm glad you find such joy in your grandkids. My mom texts my daughter all day long, and I get such a kick out of it!
I see you were recently diagnosed. I was diagnosed in Oct.
I really should spend more time reading stories from those who are doing well and have managed to find and maintain remission.
I see you were recently diagnosed. I was diagnosed in Oct.
I really should spend more time reading stories from those who are doing well and have managed to find and maintain remission.