Accomodating

maestraz · Post by **maestraz** » Wed Jan 23, 2013 5:44 pm

I have read numerous posts here about folks having trouble making others understand their need to adhere to a diet that eliminates foods. I'd just like to share a little story.

I am part of a dinner group of five couples who are longtime friends. When I got my LC diagnosis, I initially thought that I might have to drop out of the group. Finally I decided to lay out my issues (to the girls, anyway) and say, look, I don't expect you to try to accommodate for my issues. Just give me a heads up on what you're making and I'll decide what to do about bringing my own food.

Once I did this, they were obviously relieved. They now let me know what they're making, and have gotten good at identifying what has gluten/dairy, leaving sauces off my entree, etc. They try to include at least one appetizer that I can eat. I have never gotten sick after a dinner with them, and am happy to maintain my social life.

One of them has a birthday coming up, and the party is going to be at an Italian restaurant that I used to like, but now know has virtually nothing I can eat. My invitation had a notation at the bottom that the buffet will not be gluten-free. This tells me two things: the dinner group person planning the party was aware enough to ask at the restaurant, and she was thoughtful enough to tell me so that I could eat before going, or bring a few things along. When I see the friend who is planning the party, I will make sure to thank her, and am glad she knew I would not be angry that she couldn't, on this occasion, accommodate.

I guess the point I want to make is that, for all you newer folks who are wondering whether your social life is over, it doesn't have to be. You just need to accept the trade off.

Fish2575 · Post by **Fish2575** » Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:03 am

Love that! Thanks for sharing!

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:07 pm

Suze
my MC Dx and subsequent MC management plan was a bit of a filter amongst my friends

the ones that 'got it' and supported me always went out of their way to accommodate me and my eating/lifestyle plan
in the early days of Dx, when i had D a few times a day, one of my closest friends joked that she stocked the toilet with extra paper as i was coming to see her that day!!!!

It is a beautiful gift in the friendship, better than any box of chocolates or bunch of flowers, it is evidence of true friendship and heartfelt support of you for you!

thanks for sharing
Have a great night at the dinner