A word of thanks to those who live with those who live w/MC

[DebE13]

My hubby is taking a break from me. He says he is helping a friend but I think he needs some distance from my constant fixation on my health as of the past month or six years. Haha.

I don't feel bad and I'm glad he is getting some distractions. Five more days til my surgery and I can't stop thinking about it or yammering on and on about everything I've learned. I may loose my voice for a while and maybe that would be a blessing for him. I am a bit concerned about the pain because all the patient stories I've been reading all talk about how painful it is (kind of suspicious how the doctors didn't mention any of that). I like to think of myself as a toughie but I think maybe that's just the me I make up in my head.
Anyway, I think the waiting is the worst part but I may eat those words next week.

My CC has been more active lately, I'm sure because of the stress. I've been able to eliminate lots of foods from my diet since I'm not hungry at all. I expected to see some improvements because of that but haven't. Bummer. The nurse told me to take my entocort surgery day because she wants things calm down there. Humph. How nice for her, I would like that all the time. As I was in the bathroom wondering just how well someone walking by on this beautiful September day in font of my house may or may not hear my gassy activities with the window open, I thought of my husband. He does not have GI problems yet he does. He lives them with me day after day. What a challenge it must be adapting to life with someone who has such limitations. It's been this way since 2007 but I often wonder how much more he can put up with. I also remember way back when we first started dating. You know, when you still don't acknowledge that each other poops, farting in front of your sweetie would be sooo embarrassing, and work done on hemorrhoids was a one person job. I may be getting a little personal but it is just the plain facts. My husband routinely asks if it is ok to for him to use the bathroom, always giving me a chance to cut in line, has left the bathroom with a full mouth of toothpaste to accommodate my needs, has become accustomed to me hovering around the bathroom because I don't want to be too many steps away from the throne at times. He has learned not to ask if I am suddenly in the shower after making a mad dash to the toilet or pretends not to notice if I'm suddenly changing my drawers. The addition of boy shorts underwear to my collection of thongs was not questioned because a little extra fabric covering the back-side is sometimes a very nice security blanket. Oh actually, they were noticed and a joking "why the granny panties" was meant to make me laugh. As I recall, I didn't have a sense of humor that day but have gotten over it. I have been offered a ride in the shopping cart when I have been stopped in my tracks in the middle of he store with no bathroom in site. For not having any poop clauses in our wedding vows, he sure has put up with his fair share of sh**.

I just offer a big thank you to those we sometimes take for granted because all too often a sense of humor is absent when MC is around.

[JLH]

Here, here!

My DH said something like, "Don't you think your MC affects me?" I said, "I know it does and I'm sorry but please don't ever say that again."

Can you say X-Lax?

[christinakay]

Deb,

I had half of my thyroid removed because of a non cancerous growth three years ago. I have
to say that surgery was one of the least painful I have had.
I thought I might be able to ease your mind about the surgery. Wishing you a fast recovery
from surgery.



Christina

[Gloria]

My husband told me that we'd have more room in the freezer if we didn't have my almond flour in it. I use about 1/4 of the freezer space; the rest is filled with his frozen dinners, meats, ice cream cones, bread, etc. I told him he'd better not say that again.

But you're right, Deb, our spouses do sacrifice along with us. DH suggested going out to dinner yesterday. I told him that eating out isn't even on my radar. I know he misses our dinner dates. I do, too. He eats take-out a lot now.

We fortunately have two bathrooms, so we're not competing over one. I don't know how people with only one do it with MC.

Gloria

[tex]

Deb,

That's a great post, and it's very well written. I hope you don't mind if I move it to the "Experiences That Could Only Happen To Someone Who Has MC" forum, after a day or so.

Tex

[ldubois7]

Oh, Deb, while I don't have your additional physical issues, I know exactly how you feel about your spouses feelings & reactions to MC. My husband has done well the past year with no travel, no good meals, my tiredness etc.... he doesn't complain, but I feel terrible. I guess this is where the "in sickness and health" part comes into play. It's not fair to him or to me, but it is what it is.....It's sad he feels he has to sneak outside to eat an ice cream bar, though! :(

Remember that nothing is guaranteed in this life... and we show our strength (and character) as human beings by persevering. Some times are more stressful than others....when we fall, we get back up, and dust off our pants and keep going.

One day at a time, and best of luck with your surgery.

[lorimoose]

Deb,

I know it is hard on our partners in life, too. I had stomach cancer in 2007, and recovery was slow after surgery. My husband was helpful, but didn't get my overwhelming need to understand my condition. He drank to deal with me, but stood by me! (he is now sober, but it was a long road and I stood by him). With my LC, he has been more understanding of the changes it has created in our family. The disease feel harder for me to deal with, but the relationship is easier.

The point is, as much they are there for us, we are also there for them. We don't think about it. It is just what folks do in relationship....they take care of each other as needs arise, most of which can not be planned. Just as you were determined to send your son to college, before you met your own needs. And, how you understand your husband's need for space. You are a gift to your family. Love, makes all these things happen!!

I know your surgery is in a few days. I wish you an easy recovery and wonderful results.

Warmly,
Lori

[maestraz]

Deb,
Your post pretty much captures the changes in dignity/lack of that we confront with MC, and what our spouse/partners endure. Nicely written. I wish you an easy recovery from your upcoming surgery.

My husband has been the soul of patience through my LC journey. He (an Italian!) eats GF pasta mostly without complaint, though I know he takes every opportunity to eat regular stuff when I'm not around. He tolerates all sorts of GF/DF modifications. He is very patient and supportive, and I am grateful.