Families!

kate_ce1995 · Post by **kate_ce1995** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:45 am

UGH! I've got this sinking feeling this morning. I called my Mom, who is at my house today because she has the day off and the snowblower repair man is coming, and she tells me she doesn't think she can eat Christmas dinner in my house because of the clutter and odor. Well her biggest problem with odor was the litter pans, which I routinely clean on the weekend (its Friday), and they always smell worse right after a cat uses them, so its very possible someone was down there right before she got there this morning. I've been laid up for 6 weeks, Geoff's been doing his damnded to keep up with the house work here, and take care of his Mom who's health has been poor. The poor guy is exhausted from 6 months of me and his mom being ill. Not to mention, we have 2 small children who pull stuff out and don't put stuff away, so there is always clutter whether it is ours or the kid's. She is just so damn critical of me and how I keep house... It just frustrates the heck out of me because I am not a stay at home mom like she was. I've been sick for at least 5 years with illnesses that have sapped my energy (and I do an awful lot considering). I just hope she settles down and doesn't ruin Christmas.

Katy

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:04 am

Morning Katy,

I am going to be a wet blanket here. Tell her if she does not want to come to just stay home. It is more important that you have a holiday that YOU enjoy than trying to please everyone else. You and Geoff are doing your best and she should understand.

I am just too damn old anymore to try and please everyone. If Frank & I are happy, that is all that matters.

By the way - HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS - mom or no mom.

Maggie

Post by **tex** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:14 am

Hi Katy,

It can be tough to satisfy moms and MILs who don't really understand your situation, and aren't inclined to cut anyone any slack, especially when they have all the time in the world, and you don't. If the clutter really bothers her, why doesn't she straighten things up a bit to help out?

Hopefully, a fresh change of kitty litter will help to salvage the situation. If you don't already have some, you might pick up an aerosol can of odor neutralizer. A spritz or two of that stuff will do wonders for perceived air quality. I would think that pet supply stores would stock it. I get mine at a hospital supply store. I use it every time I empty my ostomy bag.

I hope you can restore tranquility at home for the holidays.

Wayne

m · Post by m » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:31 am

I'm with Maggie. If she doesn't want to accept your generous invitation to spend time with you at Christmas, then she can politely decline and stay home. Don't let her ruin things for you and Geoff.
m

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:44 am

I agree with all the others, Katy. In addition to Tex's suggestion about the spray, I use Febreze now and am very pleased with it. They have several different "kinds" for whichever strikes your fancy at that moment.

Too bad she doesn't love your furry family as much as you do.

I know you love your Mom and I hope she will reconsider her attitude and enjoy Christmas with your family. But if not.........please just enjoy it without her.'

Love, Shirley

hazel · Post by **hazel** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:52 am

Maybe you just caught her at a bad moment and by now she has A) cleaned up the clutter, B) gone to the store and bought some Febreze, C) mentally prepared her apology for being so snappy.

If not, then sit her down and tell her you're doing the best you can and you really appreciate all the help and support she can give you.

Then have a Merry Christmas with hubby and the kids with or without her. I bet she'll be there!

kate_ce1995 · Post by **kate_ce1995** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:55 am

Maybe we are all just too understanding of bathroom odors that drift away after a time. We do have air freshener and fabreeze at home, so I'll make sure I use some before Sunday. Molly is actually quite a sticky little pooper so, the smell will be there if she uses the litter box during Christmas dinner too!

I just feel so criticized. Its stressing me out, and making me sad and angry.

Katy

Peggy · Post by **Peggy** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:04 am

Aw Katy, I'm sorry to hear this. If I were close to you I'd gladly offer up Ron's services to clean your litter pans...there still too heavy for me

Take a deep breath, remember you are not super woman and do not try and do everything to please someone else, you need to take care of YOU!

Love
Another healin' gal, Peg

artteacher · Post by **artteacher** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:10 am

Hi Katy,

Sorry about the mom. Can't they be hurtful? Maybe you're better celebrating holidays without her this year, anyway.

I thought I'd tell you about "Nature's Miricle" products. They're awesome. For our dogs, who use a catbox on the deck when we are at our condo in the summer (fourth floor apartment), I put a enzyme powder in with the litter. It is amazing stuff. You can get it over the internet, or at PetCo type stores. It really helps.

Merry Christmas, Marsha

annie oakley · Post by **annie oakley** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:30 pm

I'm in agreement with Maggs.....This is the time of year especially that we have an oportunity to show love and kindness...altho we need to show it all year...but if she wants to complain tell her to stay home...I bet she doesn't do next year. You need to feel good and happy this year and your poor husband does too. My husband has been worked hard also...taking care of me and his job. Love Oma

Mars · Post by **Mars** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:34 pm

Katy, I'm with the majority here, if you mom doesn't want to join you for Christmas then she is the one loosing out!

Enjoy your Christmas with your family and don't stress out over it! I know it is sad but don't let it ruin your Christmas.

Love to you and your family!

PS: I don't know a home that has children around that isn't cluttered - don't sweat it!

and lots of hugz!
Mars

Liz · Post by **Liz** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 4:37 pm

Yep. Just enjoy being with your little family Katy. If your Mum was so upset about things maybe she could have done a little to help clear things up.

Love

Liz