Check In - Update, Flare - In Trouble?

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 6:42 am

It’s been a while since I checked in, and you will see why below. Welcome to all the newbies! You are in the right place. So here goes:

My 90-year-old father, formerly hale and hearty, fell five times in mid-February and told me he was in trouble. My only sibling, my brother Stuart, was in the hospital at the time with water in his lungs that the MDs couldn’t figure out. He was diagnosed with congestive heart failure 13 years ago.

I flew to TN from WA on Feb. 22nd and Dad was transported to the hospital the next morning where he spent 13 days going from ICU to a regular room to the skilled nursing center with community-acquired pneumonia, even though he lives alone. In the meantime, Stuart’s cardiologist told him they had done all they could do biologically (including a pacemaker he’s had for years) and needed to look at a mechanical solution. He is in the process of qualifying for a left ventricle assist device. If he doesn’t qualify, they will put in a PICC line and then he will have about a year to live.

I stayed with Dad until Mar. 28th, when he was 85% back to normal, even going up and down stairs using both legs. The only real difference being that he is now on oxygen all the time for his COPD, i.e., respiratory failure. On Mar. 29th, Dad woke up with his legs so swollen he couldn’t move and was transported back to the hospital for six days, diagnosis heart failure. The pneumonia was also retrenching, so he was treated for pneumonia while in the hospital as well.

I was home for eight days before I flew back here to TN. Dad’s recovery from the latest hospitalization has been very slow. After 11 days he is just starting to get around well. Last night his temperature was up and he is coughing again.

My stress is huge. I don’t feel that stressed, but my blood pressure shows it, and my gut. I had to arrange a lot of things for Dad, like a new PCP and a new cardiologist, and there were life things to do, like there was virtually no food in the house, let alone food I could eat. On top of making sure everyone who cared was in the loop, cooking, cleaning, entertaining, spending time at the hospital, communicating with Dad’s attorney, taking care of the cat… the list goes on.

So (of course Spring allergies are exacerbating it like they do every year) I am in the worst flare ever, even after starting Jan. 7th on a strict diet with no grains, no legumes, no dairy, no nightshades. I am back to my standard chicken with broth and carrots. I am concerned because unless I’ve eaten something (which shows up in the toilet shortly afterwards) my general watery output is black, which to me means blood.

I don’t feel that bad except for being tired. I am sleeping a lot, but taking care of Dad—which means like nursing home care and all that implies—is very hard and takes a lot of attention. I am also trying to be a wife, and mom to my two girls still at home long distance, and trying to take care of my clients long distance as well. I also don’t think that I have been taking my desiccated thyroid as regularly as I should because I don’t always hear my cell phone alarm, I just got a chance to eat myself, etc., etc.

I didn’t have any nighttime BMs last night, which is a good sign that I may be getting a handle on things. But as I said, my main concern is the black color. Am I in trouble here?

Well, Dad’s up, so time to do medications, etc. Onwards and upwards.

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 7:45 am

Oh Marliss,

What a difficult time for you. You must be absolutely exhausted!

Yes, the black color should be checked out ASAP. It usually does mean blood. It may not be a serious problem (i.e. could be something like a bleeding polyp or ulcer) but the continued blood loss can lead to anemia, which puts a major stress on the cardiovascular system. And that may partially explain why you are so tired.

Please let us know what you find out. And here's hoping that the stress level lessens for you soon. I don't know how you are juggling everything.

Love,

Polly

MBombardier · Post by **MBombardier** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:37 am

Thank you, Polly. I think I will give it 24 hours and if there is no change, have someone stay with Dad while I go have it checked out. Hopefully it will be gone tomorrow, meaning it was just a bleeding polyp or something minor.

I think often of you and your brother as my brother's illness progresses.

carolm · Post by **carolm** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:49 am

HI Marliss,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this. You are truly the 'sandwich' generation, caring for an elderly parent and raising your own family, (long distance at the moment).

Did you take any Pepto Bismol? It will also make stools black. Like gooey tar in fact. Just a random thought. I hope it's nothing and that you can hang in there. IMO this kind of stress, with grief, is the worst.

I'm hoping things resolve themselves for your brother, Dad and yourself SOON!

Carol

Jeanemcl · Post by **Jeanemcl** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 9:25 am

Yes, I was going to say the same thing about Pepto Bismol. I was glad someone prepared me when I was sick and taking them to quiet things during the day.

That is a lot on your plate. Hope things ease up for you.
Jean

Sheila · Post by **Sheila** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 10:10 am

I'm so sorry you are so stressed and pulled in so many directions. It is interesting that you say you don't feel stressed but the stress is showing up in BP and MC symptoms. The same thing happened to me recently and it didn't even occur to me the WD was caused by stress.

I hope you can get your Dad in a stable situation and that his health improves. My Mom did very well until age 92 when an infection after successful surgery got her. At that age, it is so hard to fight infection. You are certainly in an overwhelming situation and I hope you can stay healthy while going through it.

:bigbighug:

Sheila W

Leah · Post by **Leah** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:26 pm

I'm sending hugs your way Marliss. Your situation is a very hard one to be in. I'm hoping things get better for everyone involved very soon.
Leah

Zizzle · Post by **Zizzle** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 12:39 pm

Marliss,
I'm sorry you have so much on your plate. Time to take a break and find out what the black stool is about. I hope you get some control over this flare soon.

:bigbighug:

Post by **tex** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:26 pm

Hi Marliss,

I'm sorry to hear that you're having to deal with such stressful issues, especially all at the same time. I can't add much to the excellent advice that you've already received, except to mention that there is such a thing as stress-related mucosal bleeding. This issue is typically a problem of the upper digestive system, and it tends to be exacerbated by acidity. Therefore, a common treatment is the use of H2 antihistamines.

These days, most GI specialists probably recommend PPIs, since they are more effective at lowering acid levels. While we consider the use of PPIs to be generally undesirable, you might have to consider them, if you actually have stress-related mucosal bleeding. The black coloration verifies that if it is due to blood in the stool, the bleeding is occurring in the upper GI system.

Of course, as Polly mentioned, it could be due to a polyp, or some other issue. Take it from someone who has had to deal with lower digestive system bleeding, it's not something that you can afford to ignore, or postpone until a more convenient time. Time can be of the essence, so please do whatever you have to do to get someone to help care for your father ASAP, so that you can take care of yourself. I would assume that the ER would be the place to start, since you are so far away from home.

Our thoughts are with you. Please take care of yourself first, and whenever you have the time, let us know how you are doing.

Tex

nancyl · Post by **nancyl** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:19 pm

Marliss,
Nothing to add except my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Nancy

ldubois7 · Post by **ldubois7** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:03 pm

Marliss,

It must be so difficult for you & your Dad. It's hard for man who is so self sufficient to need so much looking after, but you are just where you need to be. Please know that we care about you, and try to take a walk each day and nap when you can. Do what you can for yourself.

Prayers for you and your family.

Jskaggs · Post by **Jskaggs** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 3:40 pm

Hi Marliss,
I live in Chattanooga, Tn. If you are close, is there anything I can do for you? I went through all that you are going through last year, and I know how difficult it is. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jane

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:05 pm

Marliss
Your body is doing well to support you through this past 4 months

healing hugs xo

i know it is not easy to maintain supplement regime with so much going on, if you can, keep taking Vit D3, and maybe increase your dosage.
It will help a multitude of things for you. Our levels in the body can reduce very quickly under stress.

If you cant get some nearby, let me know and I will send a care package from Aus for you xoxo

(A gift of Vit D3 is way better than any flowers or chocolates in MC world)

maestraz · Post by **maestraz** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 4:52 pm

Oh boy, Marliss--you have a full plate and then some. I hope you can find some time off to look after yourself and try to restore your health and strength for what sounds like is going to be the long haul.
Hugs from here.

Martha · Post by **Martha** » Mon Apr 14, 2014 5:44 pm

I'll be praying for you, Marliss. You definitely have too much going on in your life right now. I'm so sorry that both your dad and your brother are dealing with serious health concerns, and that you have to carry the load.

Love,
Martha