most of all doing the best you can with what you know right now. the future isn't here yet, and the past is gone and can't come back all we have is the very present moment we are in right now and our attitude with it. I choose to stay positive and stride for living the best possible way I can with head held up and not be ashamed of this disease anymore. I don't have to explain myself to make excuses for my many foods I don't eat to someone who doesn't understand . I am done with that, I have to do what I have to do to get through eating each day something that makes me smile and feel good about myself. This road is not easy to get to a place where you like yourself again and feel comfortable around others eating the foods you yourself used to eat, takes time, we are not hares in this , we are the tortoise and go at a slow and steady pace to get to where we are going with trial and errors
flares and all, but I believe we are the cutting edge to show the way for those that are still in denial. I was one of those people who
wouldn't believe it. I think my body just gave up with the small signals and when my yearly physical pap test was painful and I was told something was really wrong. My ultrasound revealed a huge cystic mass in my ovary so a complete hysterectomy was performed for a lump 8 times the size of my ovary to show me my body was under attack and it was defending itself , it was not cancer and the surgeons are at a loss to know what it was in there, but I am glad it is all out so nothing left to cause me problems in future. I do not know if my colitis was just lurking underneath it all and coupled ti leaky gut my whole life changed.
two months after surgery I was rushed to ER in ambulance with cramping and given a full episode of antibiotics and
on an IV getting it administered went through chills and body temperature dropping very low , it was not a fun place to be. I was released that night diagnosed as a UTI and sent home to just take it easy for a few days and gain my strength back again, so I started eating again
and then the explosive diarrhea started and continued for 8 weeks no matter what I ate, I was given a battery of tests once again for parasites, C difficile everything came back negative. so, my MD ordered a colonoscopy for me to find out what was going on,
my colonoscopy biopsy diagnosed LC and the GI told me oh, that is nothing to worry about , go home and eat whatever you want do this pepto bismol 6 tablets a day for 8 weeks and you will be good as new, it protects your intestine like a band-aid on a cut and you won't have any more problems, there is no celiac or chrones so you are in good shape. this microscopic colitis is exactly as the word describes just microscopic you are not 90 don't worry about your poops they will be black with the pepto but other than that you will be good as new afterwards, I don't need to see you back here again.
I was floored leaving the office and did what he said and for the first two weeks I continued eating anything and everything I did before and the pepto with it, the diarrhea did stop but the constipation set in, and I didn't like the new sensation it was having on me, I had cramps now for a different reason, but I had come on here and found this forum and immediately stopped the gluten and continued the pepto for another 4 weeks and the constipation continued
yes I would get relief but my stools were not normal and that frustrated me . So, I thought okay, even thought the pepto bismol did help other people it wasn't helping me ,so I will stop the pepto and continue to not eat gluten and the stools changed to a little more normal and I was having the cramping but not as bad anymore.
I then went to see a naturopath to get some advice on why I was so tired and he put me on some natural adrenal support tablets,
liver support, digestive enzymes, glucosimin, vitamin B, Vitamin D also a concentrated form of probiotics and told me that I had all classic signs of leaky gut because even though I had stopped gluten, other foods were causing me problems so he suggested that I also give up , dairy, corn, nightshades and go back to see him in a few months so here I was faced with a huge task of figuring out meals leaving out my many staples that I had grown up with. So, it was a huge learning curve for me and I went through the denial , this is all a dream ( nightmare was more like it) and I need to wake up but no I walked out of there in a total numbness that there wasn't any easy fix for this, in order to heal and get my life back to a new normal I had to change my lifestyle to figure this out.
I will not go into what I gave up the list is to long but I will say I gained a new perspective on life that has been invaluable, no matter how hard it seemed to be at times to get something to eat at least there were options and I could eat food that I cooked myself and there was some real satisfaction in knowing whatever I was putting in my mouth I knew the actual ingredients that were in there, I was in control again, something that was so lacking when I was going through my explosive diarrhea weeks of the past.
I make a choice each morning when I awaken, okay is this going to be a day where I feel sorry for myself about what I can't eat anymore or am I going to feel so thankful that I have the control of what goes in my system the quality of food , the quantity of food and most of all the kind of food that nourishs my body and is no longer attacking it. I am doing the best with what I know right now, do I have this figured out "NO," this very minute and if I happen to flare and figure out another food sensitivity , that is knowledge I will gladly accept as another stone in the path to replace on my way in my life I am living. We only have one life and we have to cherish what we have been given
There is always someone out there who has it much worse than me. For all of the compromises I have had to go through, it is nothing compared with living one day in the life of a suffering person who wakes each morning to not having enough food to eat to be nourished and no help to get that food. So, each day is a blessing to me and I get out of bed with these words in my head.
today is a possiblity for anything to happen and it is to be lived with joy and appreciation, afterall , I did wake up and I am alive.
Too many lives are cut short from illness or tragedy so I must live my life to be grateful for this precious gift I am given each morning to just, "be here".
Wow, I don't know what happened but I just felt like sharing this morning. I apologize for the length these are my feelings on my journey so far with this disease and I say bring on every new day I am ready to face anything and do it with a smile sure as the name says twirlitgirl, I like to twirl when nobody is watching and just feel like a little girl again. Do what makes you feel like a kid again and laugh at yourself, it feels good to laugh and be carefree, yes, even with this disease. I realize for everyone this journey has been different I can only give my opinion of mine so far. I appreciate all everyone's support and I enjoy reading each and every post and a big hug to all those who first started this amazing helpful place to turn to when needing advice and support,and talk in words written on a computer, it is the best thing since gf sliced bread made with ingredients that we can tolerate that is.. well you know what I meant. Ha! Thank you for taking precious time out of your day to read this, and I hope you all have many wonderful ups on your journey with this disease, one day at a time.
slow and steady and like Frank Sinatra , sing at the top of your lungs " I did it my way" we are all different and gain so much from eachother's experiences. thank for all you have done to help me find my path. I am on my way and my journey continues...........
cheers
Lora
.jpg){kind=avatar}