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I had my fine needle aspiration on Thursday to determine if the lymph node (.08 cm) is cancerous. My first FNA on my thyroid was no treat but this biopsy, by far, was worse. Three passes were made and my doc had to stop because I was having a difficult time tolerating the pain. Now I consider myself a tough cookie but the needle felt like it was the size of a drinking straw! Later he explained that the node was next to the carotid artery and he needed to be extremely careful not to puncture it. It was also near muscle (forgot the name) but it caused a shooting pain that went from behind my ear to my shoulder and part way down my arm. He said the chances of obtaining usable material after three passes decreases significantly so he stopped. There were few cells that were retrieved, some blood, and muscle tissue. I was told it would take a week and possibly longer due to the holiday to find out the pathology results. I got a call yesterday with the results. They were non-diagnostic I'm glad for the quick read and it scared the pants off me when I got the call so soon since expedited info is generally bad.
I'm still convincing myself that it is good news that it isn't cancer. But at the same time, it could be but just to small to get at right now. I have to go back in three months for another ultrasound. It is a waiting game that I will have to come to terms with. I have a dear friend who just beat breast cancer after a year and a half journey. She sent updates throughout her treatment and her strong faith and attitude were inspiring. She commented on learning to live in the moment and put the rest in God's hands. It's proving to be a challenge but makes perfect sense.
As much as I bash my endo with just about every post I make- he has been very compassionate towards my feelings and went above and beyond in expediting my care so I wouldn't have to wait so long for answers. Sadly, I will be waiting anyway but I appreciate him. I don't agree at all with his dosing of my medication but for now we are at a time where we have to respectfully disagree. I still have my referral in July for a second opinion on that situation.
He also was up front with his communications with my surgeon. They have been exchanging correspondence about my situation and in the otolaryngolostist community's opinion, the node is too small to treat at this time. With the focus of overtreatment of thyroid cancer they are now leaning towards the wait and see. My endo disagrees. He apologized for the conflicting opinions but felt it was necessary to let me know of their conversations so I could decide if I wanted to proceed. I understand theory behind overtreatment and having an unnecessary surgery but if I have cancer I would want it out. I see no sense in waiting until it is more or spreads. There is still a very bad idea out there that thyroid cancer isn't so bad. I read patient stories on the ThyCa on-line support community and there is nothing good about any cancer. It is an individual choice that needs to be respected.
So for now, I will wait.
Deb
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead, where there is no path, and leave a trail.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
2007 CC
2013 thyroid cancer- total thyroidectomy
2013 Hashimoto's - numbers always "normal"
2017 Lyme's Disease
Just wanted to say that I'm sending healing vibes your way. You've had a hard go and this waiting is the worst part. Try the best you can to think positive thoughts so they can keep building upon the next positive thought. I use the trick of the stop sign. Everytime I start going down the rabbit hole I imagine a big red stop sign. Sometimes all I think about are red stop signs on a particularly bad day The other good advice some one gave me was the 80/20 rule. Any problem you have spend 80% doing something about it and 20% thinking about the problem. Easier said than done but it does work if you train your brain. Allow yourself that 20% then put it away. You are doing everything you can.....now it's time to give it to the universe or god (I hear she's pretty cool) or whatever.....whatever happens it's ok.
So sorry to hear about the painful exam and the not so conclusive results, DebE13! The waiting game is so, so hard!!!
I am having a really hard time with waiting, waiting for tests, waiting for results, and then again waiting for the next test, worrying all along. I am currently taking an MBSR class (meditation based stress reduction). It was developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn at the University of Massachusetts Medical Center, but the classes are now offered worldwide. He wrote several books, one that I am reading right now is called "Full Catastrophe Living". I like reading it while taking the class. It basically tells me to be more mindful, live more in the moment, instead of having the mind be in the past (regrets about the past) or, which is my biggest issue, have the mind be in the future (worry about the future, my health, etc.). His statement is that we all only have moments to live. We are not living in the past nor in the future, the only moment we have to live is the moment right now, right here. The class teaches to be more mindful, more in the present. I am still a complete beginner at this, but I have high hopes!
So glad to hear that your endo has been honest about the communications with the surgeon and compassionate with you.
Thank you both for the encouraging words. I am already seeing bright red stop signs in my mind after reading it. That just may be something that sticks with me whether I want it to or not! I like it! The book also sounds like a good read. It helps to have active reminders to stay positive!
Deb
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead, where there is no path, and leave a trail.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
2007 CC
2013 thyroid cancer- total thyroidectomy
2013 Hashimoto's - numbers always "normal"
2017 Lyme's Disease
I'm so sorry you went through Hell with the needle aspiration. I just love it when doctors tell you something won't hurt and it is something the doctor hasn't experienced.
I totally agree with your decision not to take any chances. Cancer or not, it needs to be dealt with as soon as possible to give you peace of mind. I know it's hard not to worry, but worry accomplishes nothing except increasing stress levels. Your friend is right, let go and put it in God's hands. Worrying doesn't help anything or change anything. Meditation, yoga, acupuncture, massage, prayer etc all help.
I'm hoping all goes well Deb. Please keep us informed of how you're doing.
Sheila W
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
A person who never made a mistake never tried something new. Einstein
I find the hardest thing to deal with is I was told my chance for recurrence was almost nil. I suppose it's a dangerous game to latch onto a simple statement and believe I could walk away from the issue forever, never to think about it again. After all, it's only a category I fall into based upon my pathology report and there are exceptions to everything. For all I know, it could be a calcified node or a surgical clip and I am spending a lot of time needlessly obsessing. There was a feeling of betrayal that compounds my distrust of doctors that I have to let go of because I do know there is no blame to place. It certainly isn't my endo's fault but it's always easier to have someone to blame. It just is - so that is part of the lesson I am trying to accept.
On the bright side, Norman has stopped by a few more times than usual so at least there are some things to smile about!
Happy Easter!
Deb
"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead, where there is no path, and leave a trail.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
2007 CC
2013 thyroid cancer- total thyroidectomy
2013 Hashimoto's - numbers always "normal"
2017 Lyme's Disease
I'm glad for the quick read and it scared the pants off me when I got the call so soon since expedited info is generally bad.
The other good advice some one gave me was the 80/20 rule. Any problem you have spend 80% doing something about it and 20% thinking about the problem. Easier said than done but it does work if you train your brain. Allow yourself that 20% then put it away. You are doing everything you can.....now it's time to give it to the universe or god (I hear she's pretty cool) or whatever.....whatever happens it's ok.
I like it! The book also sounds like a good read. It helps to have active reminders to stay positive!