A Southerner Knows

[starfire]

A Southerner Knows

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip
greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general
direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request
for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in
the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not
use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble, is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis,
they also know to add a large banana pudding!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
mile or 20.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines.

In the South, 'y'all' is singular....'all y'all" is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

EverySoutherner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart"
and go your own way.

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding
all this Southern stuff, bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a
long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads
"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Bless your hearts. Y'all have a blessed day, ya hear.