Happenings..

[TendrTummy]

HI all!

Long time no talk! I've been soooooooooooo so busy at work. It's been horrid. I've been on call for the past 3 weeks and don't feel like I've slept past 3am since Christmas time when we got the puppy LOL. He's getting better.. but wants to go out at 3am then wants to get up and party. Seems if I kennel him then, something always happens to wake him up and start him yipping, so then he ends up out anyhow.

Other than that, work has been pushing me to the limit. We now have 5 people in the Clin2 position, and yet I"m so busy I rarely get lunch still, and when I leave, I still think about work all evening, sometimes dial in from home, and in that way generally tick my family off.

Recently I went to the GI again, a different doc at the same group I'd previously gone to, naively thinking I'd get some miraculous good-listener who would actually hear my concerns and want to help me because he is a physician and took an oath to do so, but no. He had his mind made up before he even entered the room, because they had my chart previously. And the appointment desk screwed up. I told them a NEW visit for a NEW problem (which I'd specified was pain before and after elimination in the colonorectal area), and I didn't ask how long the visit would be.. I stupidly assumed these people were capable of determining that a visit w/a new physician requires at LEAST 30 min if not an hour. They scheduled me for 15 minutes. 15!!!!

So he walked in the room, told me I was crazy, depressed, anxious, and was doing this to myself! Can you imagine the nerve???? He then told me he would do a flex sig ONLY if I agreed to eat my intolerances, AND take meds (steroids). He said they only treat w/meds because they do research and use control groups and have determined that this is the best way (most profitable, he should have said) to treat me.

Now, if you want to follow this logic.. When I FIRST came to this office in Feb 2004, complaining of abdominal pain and diarrhea after quitting smoking, he said that I probably had colitis, which was caused sometimes by overuse of antibiotics, which I was on for the previous 3 yrs. Ok. So I took a drug, one I was VERY apprehensive about taking, for THREE years, while my doc REASSURED me with my repeated concerns that this was going to harm my body, and it did, in the long term. Their control groups last 2 yrs. NOT long term. If I'm to follow the logic that only meds will make you better, but meds made me sick in the first place, will I not be sicker AFTER his therapy??? I'm sorry, I know people out there are benefiting from drugs, but I just can't bring myself to trust another doctor who just called me crazy.

But.. to be, I thought, reasonable, I told him I would be willing to try the meds, NOT my intolerances, if he could tell me the physiology behind what the meds will do to help me in this situation. He started to mumble something about intestinal inflammation, then stopped himself and said, "you know, I would explain it, but I don't have time, because YOU only scheduled for a 15 minute follow up."

My jaw dropped! I may have looked depressed and anxious but when you've been as sick as I have for as long as I have and someone who you thought was going to help you (ONLY with the frigging bowel pain! I just want to make sure I don't have polyps/cancer!) instead insults you, you're going to get pretty upset!

He then proceeded to do his dictation on the phone while in the room with me, stating how crazy I was, reading my enterolab results into the phone, and stating after each result, "which means nothing to me", and then holding the phone out and saying, "does that sound like what happened here today?". I could barely speak to say "yes".. He thought I was a frigging liability! Some crazy woman who was going to sue him or something! While I'd be willing to sign a waiver saying I would NEVER sue him just to have him make sure I don't have a colon problem right now!

Anyway. I had a few terrible nights and days rehashing that over and over, and decided SCREW HIM. I'm NOT crazy. I'm NOT doing this to myself. I may be slightly ENABLING this by not eating as much because eating HURTS, but I'm sure as heck not DOING this to myself! I have 2 kids and a wonderful husband, FINALLY, and a great job (cept for the stress), and the last thing I would WANT is to be sick all the time.

So I decided to proactively make a few changes that would have a positive impact on my body. I talked to the chiro I've been seeing about my back pain, who has been the ONLY doctor to CARE enough. I mean, she's got me on this special financial program so I only pay $25 a visit, no insurance co involved because they're so cheap, and she does all this extra research and work to help me! She cares, and that's how physicians should be, in my opinion.

Anyway, we decided to increase my protein shake - 1 full glass in the morning. That's going well. She also gave me some probiotics and a book about it, which I will email a copy of to anyone who wants one, just let me know. It has so much good information about the damage that can be done to your colon/intestines and how to avoid it. I never realized antacids make you more prone to infection by making your system more alkaline and apparently BAD bacteria grow well in an alkaline env, while GOOD bacteria will grow in acidic. So you're harming yourself! Anyway, there were many parts that really hit home, and I think this may be the start of something. I've been taking 4 a day since, and doing WELL!!!! Also decided personally to take charge of my back situation, and start getting stretched and exercise a bit, and start doing more around the house and just ignoring the pain till my muscles are more built up again - I feel like they're so atrophied.. Also decided to make a valid effort to BRING THINGS to work to eat that are good for me, and eat a LOT. I've been doing that too and feeling much more energetic.

Anyway, just wanted to give you all an update..

Let me know your thoughts and if you want a copy of that book. Even the intro is worth it, it's so good.

Also, I got a promotion! So did Trent! He got moved to the Operations team, which allowed for me to come over to the Tech Support Team, the team he was on. This is a great opportunity for us both and I didn't even go to school for tech so this is wonderful! :) It also means I'll be LESS STRESSED and less busy. I hope this also improves my health.

Take care all!

Love,
Christine

[celia]

Hi Christine,

I'm a newbie, but just wanted to say how impressed I am with how you are taking charge of your health. BRAVO! My best help has come from a naturopath, so I am a proponent for the natural way.

Good luck with your new changes! Celia

[Peggy]

Christine,

Wonderful to *see* you again!

So could this doc at least explain if it's all in your head why is it all coming out your ?

Maybe you should have told him about the experience all of us have had which is why we have colitis... after all those tests on the ship we've never been the same

Congratulations on the promotions! New in the picture?

Love, Peg

[tex]

Hi Christine,



Thanks for the update. It's great to hear from you again.

What can I say? You know my opinion of GIs in general. You seem to be on a roll, now, though. I think you're on the right track, and I hope your health continues to improve.

I hope you can check in more often, now that you have a new position at work.

Love,
Wayne

[artteacher]

Dear Christine,

I'm so sorry about that doctor visit. It must have been devastating. Believe me, I've been through it, too, although your visit was much more demeaning. My lesser experiences made me go to the parking lot and cry. I can hardly believe your doctor could be that callous.

Once I took my daughter to a dermatologist who insulted us; so after I got over the shock, I told his nurse I was offended and angry, that I would be making a formal complaint with whatever governing body he was beholden to, took my kid and left. I don't think I would have stood up for myself like that, but when it's your kid it's different. He asked us to come back in, and apologized and tried to explain what a bad day he'd been having. The threat must have been substantial. Any chance you can make a complaint about his callousness? I mean, even if he was right, how can a feeling person do that to another? Even if he couldn't help you, he should "do no harm".

Anyway, I'm on your side. I guess that goes without saying, Marsha

[Momster]

Why do Dr.s always try to blame what they don't understand on depression? I've had that happen to me too. Then they try to fill us full of anti-depressants to keep us lulled into silence. Good thing some of us have taken the time to learn about our own bodies and what we feel and not just put it down to being depressed. Who wouldn't be depressed when you're in pain all the time? Duh!!!
Anyway, it sounds like you've found someone who can understand and help and that means so much. It's taken me years to try to educate my Dr. and she still tries to push pills on me that I don't want or need.

Congratulations to you and Trent on your promotions.

Love - Momster

[TendrTummy]

Hi again all!

Wow, surprised it's so busy here on the weekend!

I highly considered reporting him to the board of physicians or whatever they call it. I rattled it around in my head for a few days. I already feel like that episode of Seinfeld, where Elaine has a rash, and she ticks a doc off and then she can't get treatment from ANYONE. My mom worked in Healthcare QA for a long time, and warned me that if I were to report this, likely I would never find a physician who would be willing to treat me again. And I already feel alienated enough. Also, he may fight it, and for me, that would only mean expenses, and more humiliation. I'm not up for that. I'll just leave it alone.

Obviously, he checked the oath at the door when he signed his soul over to the drug reps. It seemed his only interest was to endorse these pills, which likely pays for part of their research, as I'm sure the drug companies make healthy donations to their research projects when those projects involve their drugs. Seems they only want to put a bandaid on the symptoms, and not treat the problem. Even if the bandaid harms more than does good.

Anyway, it's not worth the effort. I'm not going to change anything by going up against a group of physicians who are too closed-minded to realize that sometimes they have to look at new ideas to find an answer.

BTW Peg, no, same TT. New pic tho :)

Christine

[starfire]

The NERVE of that.................person..........I won't call him a doctor!!

It sounds to me like you are figuring out the right treatment by yourself (with a bit of help from the chiro.). I think you are going to start feeling better real soon.

CONGRATS ON THE CAREER CHANGES!!

Love, Shirley

[Liz]

Congratulations on the new job Christine especially as it looks to be less stressful for you.

It seems to me that if some doctors don't know the answer to a problem then they get all defensive & blame it on the patient. I certainly would not be going back anywhere near him. He has no right calling himself a doctor in my regard. Surely even though, when you had only been scheduled for 15 minute consultation, he could have extended that when your problem required more time. Once again, it is all about money I reckon. Fit as many patients in as possible & if you run out of time, give you the bums rush. (no pun intended)

Hope you get sorted out by your new Doc.

By the way, I get rectal pain like that which is worse when the D is really full on. Feels like you are trying to give birth to an elephant. Closest thing to labour pains that I have had for 41 years.

Love

Liz

[tex]

Christine,

One more thing--if the lab results, (from Enterolab), meant absolutely nothing to him, then he is obviously a dunce, and it would be pointless to waste any more of your time on him.

Love,
Wayne

[harvest_table]

Hi Christine!

Great to hear from you. I know it's been very cold in MN, hope you all are staying warm.

I saw that episode of Seinfeld with Elaine and the rash doctor saga, sounds like you had a similar experience. How frustrating, but your right, it's not worth your time pursusing it. Maybe when Dr. Fine publishes this guy might be enlightened.

Congratulations on the promotions- hope it frees you and Trents time up.
Take care.

Love,
Joanna

[Polly]

Morning Christine.

Is this the same doc who missed the C. diff diagnosis? If so, no wonder he is defensive!

Congrats on moving up the ladder.

And what about the ex? Anything positive to report there?

Love,

Polly

[TendrTummy]

Wayne,

You're right. I can't imagine how it doesn't mean anything to him. I mean.. what, does he think people dig thru poop for FUN?

Joanne,

Yes, it's SO COLD in MN!!!! The high on my birthday (Friday) was -2!!!! And that was at like 8am, so it went down from there. That's NOT including wind chill!!!! That was -25 I think.

Polly,

This is not THE same doc.. but in the same group, so apparently they don't all have different minds. It sounds like "the group" makes a decision. I honestly don't think this office EVER was aware of the C Diff DX.. that actually happened at the Internal Med Doc's office, who was very helpful until recently when she too gave up on me.

As far as the ex goes.. things are not better, that's for sure. He refused to sign the order of items he agreed to in court, so eventually the judge forced the issue and the order was just signed. He still refuses to disclose to me where he is spending the night w/Hunter, so I've hired a PI to investigate this, as I KNOW he is spending nights at this lady's house, but he refuses to give us the address.

Other than that, we're awaiting the evidentiary hearing, to have it once and for all decided. In the meantime we will have a guardian ad litem, who will monitor scheduling conflicts and parenting skills, and evaluate us for our eventual hearing.

So.. while it's not better at the moment, as soon as I get evidence that he is keeping my son at a location I am not aware of, among the other things I have on him, we'll be well on our way in this thing. He continues to be a jerk and tell my son not to tell me anything that goes on there. I get "I don't know". He lets my 5 yr old watch violent movies and play violent video games (I mean.. would YOU allow a 5 yr old to watch Lord of the Rings?? Heck, *I* was scared when watching that! And now he is too scared to use the bathroom alone!).

Anyway, it'll happen. The order is signed, so we SHOULD be able to set up a system to take money directly from his paychecks and that alone is a big help. He hasn't been paying daycare for over 8 months and owes us almost $2K for that alone. He did give me ONE payment for January, but it's now mid-feb, and nothing. Plus, we don't even know if that check has cleared yet.

Anyway, gotta get going here..

Love,
Christine

[Lucy]

Hi Christine,

When I used to get in difficult situations in which I had to take the bull by the horns, I used to have an imaginary "tape" of the theme song to the movie, "Rocky," playing in my head. It's amazing how my imagination sometimes runs overtime.
Hmm, I wonder if Rocky ever cried like that! Ha!

Christine, I got the feeling that you think the pain may be from the fact that your rectum is not used to the formed stools that you're now having. Is that correct? You are having formed stools, right? It's interesting that you had cut down on the amounts that you were eating in hopes of lessening or preventing the pain.

I, of course, have no idea WHY you were having that pain. However, the following is what I observed after years and years of the unformed stools, when I had successfully removed all the even minute quantities of my "allergens" from my diet.

The solid stools were end result of a gradual firming up, so, in a sense, that gradualness gave the muscles milder exercise in pulling those stools along with the help of whatever was behind them pushing. If I'd gone straight from liquid to much firmer overnight, I probably would've ripped a big ole fissure in my rectum when it started to come out, but thankfullly, that didn't happen.

(Good thing it took me so long to figure this thing out, cause just think what would've happened had I done everything right the first time?!)

I do remember feeling those little muscles struggling as if they really were completely out of shape, though. Perhaps just a gradual increase over what you've been eating would be better than a big jump all at once, particularly with the total fiber or in the amounts of heavy things like meat or all of it added together, for that matter.

Have you tried looking up some sources of soluble fiber? Had to read lots of websites when I did a search once, but eventually found some very good lists of soluble fiber containing foods, so you might want to try that. If I had a printer hooked up to this, I would make copies of things like that, and save em to give to refer to later, and also, to pass out to friends here.

I was thinking that perhaps raw veggies and things heavy in insoluble fiber might still be difficult for you if in normal size portions, not that you shouldn't have some of both, mind you.

Also, if you eat rice, you might want to cut back a bit on the amount of whole grain rice that you consume over a short course of time. Even now, when we go to a local Chinese restaurant that specially prepares our food, we special order one brown rice and white rice comes with each order, and then mix the two together on each of our plates. I've been cutting down on my total intake of rice when I eat it lately anyway, so in effect, the percentage of rice that is whole grain is up within that small quantity that I do still consume. (I don't like to overconsume these simple carbs too much due to the glycemic index.)

Also, if the proportions are large, I would bring home half of my veggie plate of stir-fried veggies, especially if I'd had LOTS of veggies recently at other meals. I think it's a little safer to spread the fiber out some, especially when having problems. You need the fiber, but not all bunched up in one place.

Also, bring home half of your meat, sweet potato (high in fiber), and salad, and if that goes well, eat a little more of EACH next time you visit that restaurant.

Also, drink LOTS of water, and work walking into your daily routine, kind of like one would for constipation.

Btw, Christine, would you mind putting all your known intolerances over in the left hand margin. Some of us are getting old, and can't remember everyone's after a while.
Wayne has set things up so that we can do that. Is this what is called a "template" on a computer?

Anyway, just as with an athlete in training, those muscles eventually get very "athletic," I suppose, though for a while, they may feel like "the little train that can't!" Ha!

Sure hope that it's NOT anything serious. Have you noticed any bleeding?
Do you have "rhoids" that you know of?

Congrats on the promotions! That is awesome!

Yours, Luce

[TendrTummy]

Hey Luce!

I think my intolerances are listed there already.. I see them anyway.

I've been having the spasm/pain for quite awhile now, which is why I went to the doc to be yelled at LOL. I figured maybe polyps, cancer, whatever.

I have some external hemmies, it could be internal ones, but it's been there for so long, I doubt it. Plus, I never push anymore. It's just not worth the aftermath/pain. It leaves me in horrid pain for days!

No blood tho..

I've been eating more only since the yelling at the doc's office, and yeah.. I have a lot of muscle atrophy in my entire body, so it's likely that I also have some down there, too, yes.. And I think this is a contributing factor in my pain w/pushing. Same happens if I push a fart. I have to just let it happen now. Otherwise the pain is crampy for days.

Anyway, gotta get going here... Off to work/business trip for a few days. Let me know your thoughts! I have rice protein daily as I drink a rice protein drink with many vitamins. I get a lot of fiber already I believe, as I eat a lot of veggies now, brocolli is a good source I Know, and I have a lot of that..

Love,
Christine