Need a little TLC

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LauraAnn
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Need a little TLC

Post by LauraAnn »

I haven’t posted in a while because things MC-wise have been okay. But life has a way of going sideways and I need to touch base with you guys. I lost my sister a week ago to pancreatic cancer and I thought I was handling the stress, but maybe not.

I was her care taker for her since August and have had to “suck it up” and make things happen, even if I didn’t have the strength to do it. I am doing okay, sort of. Only a couple of days of bathroom issues, but I fear the worst is yet to come. I could use some advise in how to cope with the handling of what needs to be taken care of when I don’t feel like doing it and what to do for myself to stay in remission.

I sound a little whiny,but don’t mean to. She was my rock when I was so sick with MC in the beginning and I feel a little lost without her now. So you guys are stuck with me now. 🙃

Thanks for letting me vent. Would love to hear about any methods for getting through the grieving process without having a MC incident. Love you all.
Laura Turner
.........
"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in". - Leonard Cohen. 1934-2016
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tex
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Post by tex »

Hi Laura,

I'm very sorry that you lost your sister, and I wish that I was good at dealing with such situations, but I'd better leave the advice on how to handle the loss and the stress to the experts here. In the meantime, I can feel your pain 600 miles away here in Central Texas, and please know that I'm sending all the healing thoughts that I can muster, your way. Please don't forget to take good care of yourself.

Tex
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carolm
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Post by carolm »

Hi Laura,
I wish I had some great words of wisdom. I’m truly sorry for your loss. I personally find grief to still be the one emotion that will set off a flare for me. So, with that in mind, I try to listen to the wisdom of my body. I try to be mindful of what I need at that moment- a nap? Comfort food? Total quiet and to hide under the covers? A massage? A new book? A phone call to a friend I haven’t talk to lately? Yes to all of those! One day I might need to visit my favorite art museum to get absorbed in something else for awhile. Or sit in the park in the sun and watch ducks swim and hear children playing.

I think it boils down to self care with compassion and flexibility. Do what instinctively feels right. And if it’s a day you have to deal with things that are taxing then promise yourself some form of TLC as soon as you can, later that same day. You aren’t being whiny, but you are entitled to be, if you want.
Hugs. :bigbighug:

Carol
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Post by brandy »

Hi Laura,

I am so, so, sorry for your loss. Reflect on the happy moments with your sister. Be in the moment. Get plenty of
sleep. Stay hydrated.

Heavenly Father please offer up support and strength to LauraAnn who was a caregiver for her sister. Heavenly Father
we know you are the ultimate caregiver. Please give LauraAnn strength to get through the upcoming days, weeks,
and months. Please continue to provide emotional healing for LauraAnn and physical healing for LauraAnn's MC. Help to ease Laura Ann's stress and remember her sister who was her rock when she was stricken with MC.

Help LauraAnn remain in remission and LauraAnn to continue on her healing journey.

Amen.
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Post by Marcia K »

Hi, Laura. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. I lost my brother on his 50th birthday and I share the knowledge of the grief of losing a sibling. I didn't have LC at the time, though. I remember being in a fog for a long time afterwards. I have had a lot of stress since my diagnosis, and I second everything that Carol said along with Brandy's prayer. My faith has gotten me through situations that I know I would not have been able to bear otherwise. Go on Youtube and play some of our favorite songs, sit and close your eyes and just allow yourself to "be." That helps me a lot when I'm stressed and under pressure. I will keep you in my prayers for strength and comfort. Hugs to you.
Marcia
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LauraAnn
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Post by LauraAnn »

Thank you all. Tex, Carol and Brandy. Your thoughts and prayers are felt and very much appreciated.
Laura Turner
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"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in". - Leonard Cohen. 1934-2016
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LauraAnn
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Post by LauraAnn »

And Marcia too! I just saw your post. I think all of the self help ideas are good and very doable. Thank you again.
Laura Turner
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"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in". - Leonard Cohen. 1934-2016
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JFR
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Post by JFR »

Laura Ann - So sorry for your loss. One of the things I tell myself when life gets difficult is that if I don't take care of myself I will just be making everything else worse so come what may I try to stick to my way of eating and other health promoting habits which for me include taking a daily walk (weather permitting), keeping a reasonable bed time and meditating daily. It can be a struggle sometimes when I feel like hiding from the world and my problems, but if I stick with the plan and treat myself with as much kindness and compassion as possible, things are better than they would be otherwise.

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Post by Janie »

So sorry to hear about your sister. I lost my brother in January. All I can say is long slow breaths while you close your eyes and sit quietly saying this too shall pass.! :butterfliesonrose:
Peace to you Laura Ann
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Post by dhouts »

Everything that Carol said and if you haven't already, make that bone broth. There will be times that you just can't eat, don't want to eat, or you're in too much of a hurry to eat. Broth is your friend. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sister.
Diana
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Post by Grahm »

I too, am so sorry for your loss. I think the most important thing I can add is, the bone broth. I pray it helps you.

Love,
Connie
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LauraAnn
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Post by LauraAnn »

This is odd....... the first thing I did today was put on a pot of bone both to simmer all day. I just finished having 2 nice bowls of beef vegetable soup (it tasted good!) and I have left overs for tomorrow. Brilliant minds think alike 😻. I was kind to myself today and didn’t stress out too much. Just made some of those needed phone calls and washed a few things. Thank you everyone or the kindness coming this way. Tomorrow is going to be tough because I have to go pick up her ashes. Not looking forward to that.
Laura Turner
.........
"There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in". - Leonard Cohen. 1934-2016
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Erica P-G
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Post by Erica P-G »

Ah...Laura....I'm so sorry to hear this :sad:

Everyone has such great words of wisdom...my only thoughts are to notice when you start to rely on memories all the time, that could be a sign of depression and I'm learning Muscle Tension will get my intestines going every time....so lots of breathing, muscle relaxing, massage (touch actually relieves a lot and puts oxygen in needed areas when we tense up). Be sure to get out, rely on others to conversate so you can relate, grieve and basically let the process unfold naturally.

You are stuck with us now :wink: it is nice to see you :bigbighug:
Take care....will be thinking of you
:pulsinghearts:

Erica
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humbird753
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Post by humbird753 »

I'm so sorry for your loss, Laura. It can be difficult losing a sister/sibling. I lost two of mine in less than a month a few years ago. You're already getting great advise from others here. Following the protocol for MC, sipping on bone broth, and Epson salt foot soaks and baths were comforting for me. As you already know this is a great place to come to for sound advice on taking care of yourself.

:bigbighug: :pulsinghearts:
Paula

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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass... It's learning to dance in the rain."
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