How to stop obsessing/over-analysing symptoms/BMs?

[AGM]

Hi there,

I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to stop over-analysing toilet trips and potentially obsessing over the result.
I have been on the diet for 8wks now and doing really, really well. It started working within days and has slowly improved. However, I do seem to keep going back a few steps when experimenting with new food, or if I relax a bit with food, or get stressed etc (all normal, I know).
Anyway, I feel like I obsess a little over what comes out....feeling relaxed and pleased by a "perfect poo" and then feeling triggered if it is a bit softer/looser than usual, or if most is well-formed and the end is semi-formed. I instantly feel worried and start trying to figure out what caused it and I really don't like this, as I know that it doesn't help me. I also know that even without MC, it is normal for this to happen, for BMs to fluctuate daily. I try and remind myself this, but then get unsure if the fluctuations are LC-related or normal. I even compare in my mind to my young children, who also sometimes have BMs that are formed at the beginning and semi-formed at the end (I have to help them clean up, as they are under 5, so that is how I know this . I never worry about them when it is once in a while, but with me, I freak out. E.g this happened this morning and I also have some lower and left-sided abdominal pain and I'm worrying that something has triggered me, despite not having introduced anything new in the past few days. I'm starting to think about fibre content and if I ate too much of one thing. I also get triggered by any abdominal pain, or extra gurglings etc. Geeze, I just want to be better again and be able to eat almost anything without any worries and obsessing.

Ok...even reading that back, I sound crazy!

Any tips?

Also I'd love a bit of a pick me up at this time. I'm finding myself feeling a bit down at all the things I can't eat/drink at this time of year. Food is such a big part of Christmas for us and I'm definitely feeling a bit low about only being able to eat my safe foods.

Alice

[tex]

Hello Alice,

I see that no one has responded to your post, so despite the fact that I don't consider myself very knowledgeable about the issues you've raised, I'll take a stab at offering a few suggestions.

MC doesn't lend itself very well to micromanagement. First off, the inflammation is IgA-based, not IgE-based, which dictates that it responds somewhat slowly (hours and days, rather than seconds and minutes). Once MC is triggered,the intestinal damage that causes the disease is slow to heal (usually 3 to 5 years for adults). We all have good days, and bad days until we're far enough along in the healing cycle that the production of antibodies is nearing a normal level, and the vast majority of our inflammation is gone. We get a much better (more accurate) assessment of our progress if we consider our general condition on a monthly basis, rather than a daily or weekly basis.

I live out in the country on a working farm. We used to have a neighbor (he passed away a couple of years ago) who always said, "If you start every day with very low expectations, then you'll never be disappointed when things go wrong. And whenever something goes right, then you'll be pleasantly surprised." He was always relaxed, and he lived well into his 90s.

Expecting a textbook recovery is just setting yourself up for disappointment. You can't rush MC. It has a mind of it's own, and it's hard-headed. Trying to micromanage the disease is like trying to herd cats — an exercise in futility. We can't knock it out in a day or so, or a week, or a month. But we can certainly wear it down until it finally gives up and hands us our life back. And we do that by sticking to a safe diet, day after day, and like our neighbor, we expect things to go wrong once in a while, so that we're never disappointed when they do. If we have a reaction and we know why, then we learn from the experience. If we have a reaction and we don't know why, then we don't worry about it, because worry just causes more inflammation, and it's never productive.

The Internet is loaded with relaxation techniques. Pick one or more that interests you, use it several times each day, and learn to relax. Your body and your mind will thank you, and you'll increase your longevity by many years.

Here's another way to look at it: MC is trying to ruin our life, every day. That's it's sole reason for existence. So every day we're in a struggle to gain control. At first, the disease wins on most days. But as we learn to control it, we begin to win most skirmishes. Eventually,it only gets in a good lick once in a while, so it becomes bored and wanders off to bother someone else. We can never let our guard down, though, because it's always watching, and ready to pounce, if we slip up.

Hopefully, someone who is better at this than I am will chime in with some suggestions.

Tex

[tex]

To add to (and sum up) that last post:

We have to approach each new day optimistically, because a positive attitude has been proven by medical research to be healing, whereas a negative attitude is inflammatory. Yet we can't afford to have unrealistic expectations, so that we're repeatedly disappointed. That leads to a negative mindset, which causes chronic inflammation, and chronic inflammation is what causes MC in the first place.

The bottom line is, your recovery is going just fine, so don't dwell on the trivial negative details along the way. Embracing and appreciating your long-term progress, while ignoring the minor setbacks, is just part of the recovery process that we all have to learn to deal with.

Tex

[pebby]

I agree with everything Tex said. Tex, you are a great communicator. I read your post on how MC will change your life and it really connected with me.

I'd also like to add, I've been working with a psychologist that specialises in IBD, IBS and other chronic conditions such as fibromyalgia. Specifically, we have been using 'acceptance and commitment therapy' and 'mindfulness integrated CBT'. This is a type of structured therapy that anybody can do. I've found it a great way to calm my system down in general and to reduce my stress/reactivity, especially when it comes to symptoms of MC.

The book we've been working through is called 'Mindfulness-integrated CBT for Well-being and Personal Growth: Four Steps to Enhance Inner Calm, Self-Confidence and Relationships Book by Bruno A. Cayoun'

It's definitely worth looking at if you want a tried and tested way to keep calm. It requires commitment (45mins to 1 hour of meditative practice per day), but if you put the effort in you will see the results.

Thanks :)

[Redrose54]

Hello Alice- I am fairly new to this forum, and I just read your post. MAN does it resonate with me!!! I was diagnosed less than a month ago and have gone down the same path you have re: recovering and emotional struggles. Although I have always managed my weight well, food was always my go-to for everything - grief, celebration, and everything in between. To have my crutch yanked out from underneath me so suddenly and so permanently was, initially, devastating emotionally. It still is sometimes.
I personally feel that I've needed to go through a real mourning period. We HAVE given up something huge. And the fact that we can't just totally avoid it makes it very hard. We need to eat. Everyone around us needs to eat. But * we* don't get to have the scrumptious stuff that others around us do.

However, I remind myself of several things that make it less difficult:
1. I am actually eating more healthfully now than I was before.
2. This is not a life-threatening illness.
3. This does not pre-dispose me to more serious medical issues down the road.
4. Taste buds adjust and change. Even in the short amount of time I have made these changes, mine have adjusted to them. It took about
3 weeks, but I am no longer craving breads and cheeses and sweets the way I was the first week.
5. Making these sacrifices means that I am not chained to my house and my toilet! Definitely worth it.

Was life easier before? Sure. Was it easier to grab something to eat at the drop of a hat? Yup. Did I not have to *think* so hard about food? You bet. But life is constantly changing. Nothing is permanent. This is a change I need to make for my continued health. It is not impossible; it is not even that difficult now that I've gotten into it. Sure, there will be setbacks. There will most certainly be times when I long for a piece of chocolate cake loaded with frosting, or for a nice big salad with ranch dressing, or some delicious bread and butter from my local bakery. But I know the urge will pass. It just sucks when those urges hit!

Allow yourself to mourn, but remember also that you will heal. It just takes time. Lots of it. Consider the option: misery.
You are in great company on this website!

[tex]

Redrose54,

That was a great post, and I agree with what you've written 100 percent. Thanks for sharing. That should be very helpful for any new member who reads it.

To give you something to look forward to, please note that after our intestines heal for a while, most of us are able to once again eat salads and raw vegetables in general, provided that we heal well (no cheating on our diets, as we're healing). We're also able to eat citrus fruits (and most other fruits) again, and we can eat and drink foods that contain citric acid (juices and soft drinks). The salad dressings will need to contain safe ingredients, usually the simpler, the better. The amount of healing required varies. Some of us can add some of these foods in 6 months or less, while others have to wait a couple of years (it takes the intestines from 2–5 years to completely heal for adults — kids can heal in less than a year).

The point is, the foods that cause our immune systems to produce antibodies will almost always have to be avoided forever, but many of the foods that we have to avoid or minimize during recovery because of sugar or fiber content, will once again be safe after our digestive systems heal for a while, provided that we don't have histamine issues.

Thanks again, for sharing.

Tex

[AGM]

Thank you Tex and RedRose54 and I am so sorry for such a late reply. We've just finished our Summer holidays here in Australia and with all three (young) kids with me for the past two months, I have done next to nothing besides look after and play with them. So, here I am, finally catching up on some things.

All of that makes sense. I also agree about the mourning being necessary. I feel that I have pretty much done that, but I still get days where I let myself feel a bit down about it all, despite feeling about 500% better than I did 5mths ago. I also meditate daily and have been practising mindfulness regularly for about a year and a half now and that all helps.

Anyway, I am going to write an "Update" post in the main board. :)

Alice