Losing it

[Sonia]

Tonight I made two dinners--hamburgers and potatoes for my family, lamb and sweet potatoes for me. I accidentally used a spatula from the hamburgers to scoop out the sweet potatoes--this contaminating half of my dinner-- and I lost it. My four year old is incessantly asking why I can't eat things, and my husband responded to my freak out tonight with, "you need to calm down, it is a potato." I don't know how long I can handle the burden of all food preparation for everyone. I'd make us all boring bland meals but I have a ton of food in the pantry and freezer that I can't just throw away. I've also always loved cooking and not using this as a creative outlet/way to enjoy time with my family is sad. I'm only a couple months into this and perhaps I would be more encouraged if my symptoms were better. I have a ton if willpower--I was an anorexic teen and I've lived with celiac for over a decade so I'm used to watching other people eat--but this is so much harder than I imagined. I know food is medicine. But I'm sick of thinking about it--food issues have plagued me since I was 16 and I'm fed up. And I feel guilty for making such a big deal out of this--yes, it is just a potato. And yes I meditate and have a therapist do what I can for "self care" while working full time with a family.

Ok, I think I'm done ranting. -Sonia

[tex]

Sonia,

I'll just say a few words, because I know there are others here who can do a much better job of responding to your post. I'd just like to point out that yes, the bad news is that this is the most difficult thing that we will ever attempt to do during our lifetimes. But the good news is that we are all capable of taking on the job, and handling it. We're embarking on an uncharted journey, and we learn as we go. And as we gain experience, it gets easier, and eventually becomes second nature. May your journey go smoothly.

Tex

[jennifer]

Sonia,

Your symptoms will get better!

I am only 1 1/2 yrs ahead of you, i have been where you are now and so has everyone else on this board.

It is an incredibly frustrating and exhausting disease to control.

But, as Tex pointed out, it does get easier.

I know it is impossible to believe at this point, but with perseverance, determination, motivation and sticking to a strict diet, you WILL get your life back!

We all have had several meltdowns, but you pick yourself right back up, dust yourself off and continue the fight!

You can beat this, and when you do, it is so rewarding!!

Hang in there.

Jen

[Rosie]

Sonia, you are early in transition, and that is the hard part. You will adjust and find a way to make it work, just like so many of us. But you aren't the only one who needs to adjust. Your family is going through the transition with you, and they need to make some adjustments too, which will feel "unfair" to them. But MC hasn't been "fair" to you either! It shouldn't all be on you.

I don't know how long I can handle the burden of all food preparation for everyone.

Here are some practical thoughts on how to handle food based on my and others' experience.

1. We have all faced the problem of what to do with food we can no longer eat. And of course we don't want to waste it. How about seeing what items you can donate to the local Food Shelf. And see if family or friends can take some of the frozen items that you no longer can eat.

2. Have several days a week where your husband takes responsibility for his and son's dinner. He can order carryout, visit the supermarket deli , or stock up on heat and serve meals. There are also meal delivery kits like Blue Apron, with recipes that reduce the burden of having ingredients for two types of meals.

3. A popular option to reduce work is to cook up our dinners for the week in one batch on the weekend, and freeze portions to use during the week.

4. Be willing to compromise. For example, my family didn't fare so well when it was my husband's turn to cook dinner. So we compromised by my cooking dinner, but then my husband and kids were responsible for the entire cleanup afterwards, while I sat and relaxed.

We each find our own way, and it works out in the end. But no denying that the transition is stressful!

Good luck,
Rosie

[Gabes-Apg]

Sonia
your reaction is normal - you are in early stages of this HUGE adjustment
totally normal to get frustrated, upset, disappointed etc etc

it is full on, to put so much effort into something and not see vast improvements. You put every ounce of energy into taming the MC beast!
albeit, we never get to fully tame it, we learn how to live with it, love it, nurture it.
If there was a quick fix, easy solution this group would not exist. the best ingredient to good long term healing is time, there is no fast track or short cut.

Many here were big foodies Pre MC diagnosis. Many here have had to make big adjustments to career, living arrangements, hobbies etc
(me and 3 girlfriends would do cake decorating and were about to set up a cafe/business just prior to my Dx)

Rosie has summed up most of what I was going to say.
if you can do bulk prep of meals (for both you and the family) on the weekends and reduce some of the workload and stress for some of the meals.
Have one slow cooker for you, one slow cooker for their meals.
There are meals that would be MC safe for you and still very tasty, enticing to the family. Meat on the bone roasted with roast vegetables

for the mental /emotional aspect of things - it can take at least 6 months to find your safe routine, as Jennifer mentioned she is 1.5 years ahead of you it takes time to 'be settled'
(goodness I am 12 years post diagnosis and still have moments of anger/frustration/disappointment on the impact of MC and other autoimmune issues on my life and choices I can make )

[Sonia]

Thanks all for the encouragement and tips. Both MC and IVF are long haul journeys; I'm relying on my afternoon coconut milk lattes for small doses of instant gratification. Hanging in there, Sonia