Well,
I met with our "stress management" counselor to discuss communications issues last week. We agreed that my boss and I needed to agree on what aspect of my communication needs work. So I ask my boss on Friday if we can discuss, or he can come up with a list of things he sees I need improvement on.
So we just had lunch. Here is what he tells me. "I know A+ work when I see it, but I can't describe it and you aren't consistently above B+".
How the HELL am I supposed to improve if that is the kind of feedback I get? He keeps talking about moving up in the company. I don't care about moving up. I want to get my job done well without having him give me crap about it! Maybe I've got the wrong attitude about it.
Ah well, I meet with the counselor again tomorrow afternoon.
Katy
The Work Saga
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
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kate_ce1995
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 1321
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 5:53 pm
- Location: Vermont
Hmmmmmmmmm. Now I'm just an ignernt ol' country boy, but if I tell someone that their work is not up to my expectations, and they ask me what they need to do to improve, I can guaran-damn-t you that I'll be able to come up with a much better answer than that.
What your boss said reminds me of someone who obviously doesn't have any communication skills himself, and probably doesn't know what he's talking about. Be sure you tell the counselor exactly what your boss said. It's becoming painfully obvious that counseling may not be of much benefit in solving your communications problem, because the wrong one is going to counseling.
Regarding attitude, don't forget that even when the boss is is wrong, he's still right, so you gotta play the game.
I still think that he's got some other agenda, and his response to your question just reinforces my opinion,
Tex
What your boss said reminds me of someone who obviously doesn't have any communication skills himself, and probably doesn't know what he's talking about. Be sure you tell the counselor exactly what your boss said. It's becoming painfully obvious that counseling may not be of much benefit in solving your communications problem, because the wrong one is going to counseling.
Regarding attitude, don't forget that even when the boss is is wrong, he's still right, so you gotta play the game.
I still think that he's got some other agenda, and his response to your question just reinforces my opinion,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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kate_ce1995
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 1321
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 5:53 pm
- Location: Vermont
Well, Wayne, I'm just a country girl, so what do I know!
The only flaw in your theory (about the male shauvenist thing) is that he is this way to the guys too. A large part of it may be that he is 50 and doesn't want a bunch of 30 somethings telling him what to do. There is a huge age gap here. And some of the staff rely on the "inexperience" crutch that he throws at us a little too much.
Plan 2 was to have the counselor talk to him. So I'll see what her reaction is tomorrow. Maybe then she can say "how the HELL is Katy supposed to do better if you can't express what she needs to improve on to her?"
By the way, he frequently says he "has a gift" to communicate! BS. I find him very wishy washy. I think he gets away with it in part because he is part of a white male society of engineers, none of whom are terribly good at communication (we've got some engineering clients who are REALLY bad...make me look A+++).
Katy
The only flaw in your theory (about the male shauvenist thing) is that he is this way to the guys too. A large part of it may be that he is 50 and doesn't want a bunch of 30 somethings telling him what to do. There is a huge age gap here. And some of the staff rely on the "inexperience" crutch that he throws at us a little too much.
Plan 2 was to have the counselor talk to him. So I'll see what her reaction is tomorrow. Maybe then she can say "how the HELL is Katy supposed to do better if you can't express what she needs to improve on to her?"
By the way, he frequently says he "has a gift" to communicate! BS. I find him very wishy washy. I think he gets away with it in part because he is part of a white male society of engineers, none of whom are terribly good at communication (we've got some engineering clients who are REALLY bad...make me look A+++).
Katy
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MaggieRedwings
- King Penguin
- Posts: 3865
- Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 3:16 am
- Location: SE Pennsylvania
Hi Katy,
Boy does this remind me of my last boss. When things came to a head in July he told me to go home for a couple of paid days and come up with a plan. A plan for what says I. Just a plan he says with no direction. He was and is not a communicator and being vague only made me more irate. I went home, started resumes got a new job and 12 days later moved on and he is still trying to figure out why I left. As recent as a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned to someone there, I cannot understand why Maggie left.
They have no clue.
I surely hope the counsellor can make it clear to him that no communication can more than likely mean no improvement to his standards of work - whatever they may be.
Praying for you gal.
Love, Maggie
Boy does this remind me of my last boss. When things came to a head in July he told me to go home for a couple of paid days and come up with a plan. A plan for what says I. Just a plan he says with no direction. He was and is not a communicator and being vague only made me more irate. I went home, started resumes got a new job and 12 days later moved on and he is still trying to figure out why I left. As recent as a couple of weeks ago, he mentioned to someone there, I cannot understand why Maggie left.
They have no clue.
I surely hope the counsellor can make it clear to him that no communication can more than likely mean no improvement to his standards of work - whatever they may be.
Praying for you gal.
Love, Maggie
Maggie Scarpone
___________________
Resident Birder - I live to bird and enjoy life!
___________________
Resident Birder - I live to bird and enjoy life!
Katy-
I'm sorry your job is causing you such stress right now! I've read a bit about what you are having to endure, and honestly, it does not appear to *ME* that you are the one with the problem - but your boss is choosing to make you think so. I am married to an engineer
so I can vouch for the fact that most have sub-par communication skills - my husband is better than most of his co-workers, but not so good as far as regular society is concerned! He's pretty outgoing and chatty, but doesn't often "pick up" on nuances, or follow, if the conversation heads in a different direction - I think some of these traits are common to engineers in general....the people who communicate with ease are all in sales or marketing 
My old roommate was a civil engineer and she worked for the City of San Jose. I know she had issues with a supervisor who had it in for her, and tried to nitpick everything she did without finding *real* fault with her work. It was very frustrating for her, and she felt there was some sort of sexism at play (very common, I hear, from all of the female engineers I know) - but she struggled to isolate what his problem with her was....I think she finally solved it by changing departments.
We are all here to suport you as you try and make your work environment better and more conducive to good health
Mary
I'm sorry your job is causing you such stress right now! I've read a bit about what you are having to endure, and honestly, it does not appear to *ME* that you are the one with the problem - but your boss is choosing to make you think so. I am married to an engineer
so I can vouch for the fact that most have sub-par communication skills - my husband is better than most of his co-workers, but not so good as far as regular society is concerned! He's pretty outgoing and chatty, but doesn't often "pick up" on nuances, or follow, if the conversation heads in a different direction - I think some of these traits are common to engineers in general....the people who communicate with ease are all in sales or marketing My old roommate was a civil engineer and she worked for the City of San Jose. I know she had issues with a supervisor who had it in for her, and tried to nitpick everything she did without finding *real* fault with her work. It was very frustrating for her, and she felt there was some sort of sexism at play (very common, I hear, from all of the female engineers I know) - but she struggled to isolate what his problem with her was....I think she finally solved it by changing departments.
We are all here to suport you as you try and make your work environment better and more conducive to good health
Mary
The more I hear the more I, too, think the problem lies your supervisor and not you.
Sounds like he has been "promoted above his level of competence".
Perhaps he was a really good engineer but has no management skills (and never will at this late date) OR he was a lousy engineer and was promoted to get him out of someone else's way.
Either way, as Tex said, you are the one under the gun since he holds the power. I hope he will see the counseller and if he does, I hope he will listen to her, but if he has no respect for women, he won't listen to a woman's advice. I don't know if that's the case or not.
It's a sad situation for you, I know. Try not to take what he says too much to heart.
Love, Shirley
Sounds like he has been "promoted above his level of competence".
Perhaps he was a really good engineer but has no management skills (and never will at this late date) OR he was a lousy engineer and was promoted to get him out of someone else's way.
Either way, as Tex said, you are the one under the gun since he holds the power. I hope he will see the counseller and if he does, I hope he will listen to her, but if he has no respect for women, he won't listen to a woman's advice. I don't know if that's the case or not.
It's a sad situation for you, I know. Try not to take what he says too much to heart.
Love, Shirley
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
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annie oakley
- King Penguin
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Sounds to me like this Boss is pretty taken with himself and doesn't really care about employee's. Maybe Tex is right, he has another agenda , I think you are smarter than the Boss. Play the game better than he does. Love Oma
May I be more compassionate and loving than yeterday*and be able to spot the idiots in advance
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barbaranoela
- Emperor Penguin
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