Beth - About Your PCP

Post by **tex** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 10:42 am

Hi,

I realize that after receiving that kind of response from your doctor, the consensus of opinion is to move on to another doctor, and you are certainly justified in switching. As one who is always looking for a silver lining to every cloud, though, I'd like to offer a rambling thought or two.

Obviously, her feelings were hurt, and she was very upset. Whether or not that attitude was justified, is another issue, but in her defense, I'd like to point out that if we were in her shoes, and we felt that we had been "slighted", and our pride had been hurt, most of us probably would have reacted in a similar fashion - except that I don't believe that most of us would have acceded to your request, and called in that prescription.

For her to do that, in her prevailing state of mind, and in view of the fact that she clearly put herself in a risky position with regard to liability, (issuing a prescription without even so much as a cursory exam), means that she performed an act of magnanimity that was far, far above the call of duty. Frankly, I don't understand why she did it, but of course, I'm glad she did, for your sake. Maybe it was her farewell gift to you. Or maybe it was her way of saying, "See, I'm not such a bad guy, after all". Who knows?

Whatever the case, in view of the difficulty in finding doctors willing to do anything at all to help patients who portend to be so bold as to actually demand to take control of their own treatment, if I were you, I would definitely hang on to her phone number, in case I ever needed it again. Doctors willing to play second fiddle to a patient, in deciding on a course of treatment, are extremely few, and far between. It shouldn't be surprising that a doctor put into that position would be indignant.

And last, but certainly not least, since I'm also one who prefers to make my own decisions about such important issues as my own health, I believe that I would be willing to put up with a fair amount of argument, indignant behavior, etc., so long as I could ultimately get what I wanted from a doctor, (namely, a needed prescription), if that were the fastest, easiest, cheapest way to get it done.

That said, I'm not trying to talk you out of finding a new doctor. Everyone deserves a doctor who is willing to work with them, and respect their needs and wishes. I guess I'm just blown away by the fact that she gave you the script, when there was absolutely no logical reason why she should have done so. I'm still shaking my head and wondering what she was really thinking.

Wayne

Beth · Post by **Beth** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:10 am

Hi Wayne,

Yes, I was actually thinking something very similar after I got over being so mad. I think I'm going to write her an email and acknowledge that we got off to a bad start (she's only been my PCP since Nov. 1) and thank her for her help. I think she needs to feel acknowledged and included. And you're right - I would have felt the same way if I were in her shoes. Thanks for the thoughtful comments about this. You've just confirmed what I was mulling over. I'll go send her an email right now.

Best,
Beth

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:59 am

I started a post about this same subject yesterday and then decided to "butt out".

I say the lady deserves at least a second chance. Be nice, even butter he up a little bit. Perhaps she will be willing to learn something about our disease. Teaching a Dr. about it has to come in second to one who already knows.......

If she sees that there is dramatic improvement and if you hold the ground you gained on the diet, perhaps she will be REALLY impressed.

Of course, I could be all wrong too!!

Anyway, so happy you got the prescriptions and I'm betting you'll be feeling so much better almost immediately, that you will wonder why you had reservations in the first place. Just make sure you come off the pred as planned.

Love, Shirley

harvest_table · Post by **harvest_table** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:18 pm

I was thinking along these same lines. She apparently respects you and trusts your judgement & instints which is a pretty darn good thing.

Keep her number!

Love,
Joanna

Beth · Post by **Beth** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:34 pm

Well, here's the email I sent to her. I expect I'll get a pretty good response!

Hi Dr. -----

Thank you very much for calling in the prescriptions for prednisone and entocort last night. It seems like we've gotten off to a bad start together, and after I got off the phone with you, I realized that you probably felt excluded from my treatment. It was very generous of you to call in those prescriptions given the fact that you said you felt uncomfortable treating me without much background on my history or on the illness itself. So, I apologize if I offended you - I certainly in no way meant to. I've been so desperate to find an answer that I really wanted to be able to get a solution to this as quickly as possible. Also, I didn't really know much about Dr. Gordin - I had just heard from Tracy MacNab that he dealt with digestive disorders and that he might be a good person to see. I had no idea, of course, that you could do the same testing that he does. If I had, I certainly wouldn't have mentioned him, as I can see how that, too, would be an affrontery to your professional standing. So, perhaps we might start over together? I'm going to need a doctor to help me along the way with this, and I'd like to continue to work with you. Also, perhaps you have a suggestion of a GI that I could work with. I probably need to see a specialist - I've just been so wary of working with a GI after my other very bad experiences a few years ago. Hence, the drive to try to treat myself based on my own research. I hope you understand, and if you're willing to keep working with me, I'd be delighted to continue to work with you.

Not bad, eh? ")

Post by **tex** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:57 pm

Hi Beth,

You're awesome! I'm sure she wasn't expecting an email like that - in fact, I'll bet she's never received an email quite like that.

You've proven the virtue of your mettle. Now we'll see what she's made of.

I hope this works, since it could save you a lot of valuable time that you would otherwise have to spend trying to track down and evaluate another doctor. Another advantage is, if she accepts your offer, she will automatically remember you in a very positive light, as a sensitive and understanding person, and she will accept and respect you as someone who knows what she's doing. and knows how to get results. (Whether she admits it or not, she will at least be subconsciously aware of it).

It's a great feeling to be in control of your destiny, isn't. You've got what it takes. Never forget that.

Wayne

starfire · Post by **starfire** » Tue Dec 19, 2006 1:23 pm

Love, Shirley

artteacher · Post by **artteacher** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:17 am

I agree. The second best thing to a knowledgable doctor is a pliable one.

Love, Marsha

Maybe not pliable - a partner - that's what I meant.

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:33 am

Hi All!

Great thread! I was also thinking along the same lines, but didn't want folks to think that I was blindly defending a fellow doc. (We docs do too much of that, IMHO).

The email is perfect, Beth. Let us know if you receive a response.

And now, for the BIG question? Are you having any relief from the meds yet?

Love,

Polly

Beth · Post by **Beth** » Wed Dec 20, 2006 11:24 am

Well, here's to the big answer - I don't have one yet. My stomach is still roiling a bit, but I can tell it's a lot better than it was even yesterday morning. Still scared to eat, but I'm so hopeful this is going to help. The big test will be when nature calls and I see whether Norman has returned! Keeping my fingers crossed. Thanks for asking, Polly.