A bit on Kait

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Sun May 06, 2007 7:27 am

Well Kait stayed with us yesterday and slept over---

Tis 9.30 a.m. now----and Lou has already left to drive Kait home cus Lynn doesnt want Kait to miss Sunday Services---
See---its things like this that really rile me up!!!! To add tis an hour ride to Lynn's--not around the corner~~~~~

Anyway we took her shopping---and YES---there is something not right--
Kait DOES NOT stop talking---and I mean DOESNT---she keeps going on and on---and is loud ---and has a very RUDE mouth--

We passed a bunch of kids--and she yelled @ one--saying how MESSY he was dressed????

and just kept walking muttering away---

I walked faster than she did

She slept in the spare bedroom---and she went thru every drawer in Lou's desk---now he keeps $$$$ in one and she said to him---*boy gramps--U sure got alotta $$$ there!!!
I know kids can be nosey but this really bothered me---I wanted to relate to her that it wasnt her business to go thru ANYONES personal things but I knew if I opened my mouth --my verbalization wouldnt be grandmotherly--
Kait does have problems---it is very evident---but Lou and I just moved along as tho the bowl of cherries HAD NO PITS!!!!

Just blowing steam----thanks

Have a good day
luve Barbara

annie oakley · Post by **annie oakley** » Sun May 06, 2007 9:06 am

Mybe there is something wrong and she should be checked Barb,,,That doesn't sound like Kait. I am sorry you are having these problems Barb. As far as not beinging grandmotherly by telling her not to get into drawers not hers....That is very much what alot of grandmothers would do...I bet you are a great grandmother. As grandparents we have the right to tell our grandkids things like that. I hope all improves soon. It can be so very stressful. (((((((Hug))))))) love ya Barb

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Sun May 06, 2007 9:40 am

Hi Oma----

Kait is always being checked---her meds. have been adjusted---but she is like always in *FULL-SPEED*

All these past years, involving surgeries etc, has caused some damage--
She could never ---and I mean this sincerely---hold down a decent job--
Doing A thing is impossible for her---Kait flits from one topic to another that half the time I dont get the chance to answer the first thing she might have said/asked!!!

Now here comes the summer---Kristyn---works,Lynn works and Community College is done---her Psycologist asked Lynn---what is Kait going to do all summer---*hang in her bed /couch all day!!*

This is sad----she has no friends---she does nothing---Xcept reads the BIBLE all day~~~~ Nothing wrong with that but????

Well Oma---U know me

--I was angry that she did this but I know if I spoke up---it would be in a nasty tone---
All I said was---*stupidly* !!Kait U went thru gramps desk? --DUH!!!

And she went to sleep wearing her new clothes that we bought on the shopping spree....

Thanks Calamity--luve ya back
Barbara

annie oakley · Post by **annie oakley** » Sun May 06, 2007 2:23 pm

I am so sorry Kait is going thru this Barb. There are too many things to say to comfprt you or her. Have you thought about mentioning a day care for adults where she could be around people all day? At least she would have others to be around, instead of staying on the couch all day. Love Oma

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Sun May 06, 2007 2:48 pm

Oma----Kait DID belong to a support group--the only bad thing about it ---they well all older peoples and she couldnt relate WITH them--

I believe her Bible is her comfort---but if she was going into the Nunnery I would say *BRAVO* ---
somehow it worries me????

And I also believe that sending her to a group all summer--would be a deterent---like saying U R ababy and need day care??? I dont think so--
The supermarket manager---said he would gladly give Kait about 4 hours --3 dayz a week----he does help out proplematic kids!!! But then its the means of driving her--etc. and Lynn cannot lose any more time from wrok

I dont know what to think--say or do---

Well they will have to sort it out---I cannot be the keeper-

luve Barb

Liz · Post by **Liz** » Sun May 06, 2007 6:00 pm

Hi Barb. It is probably inevitable that Kait would show some effects either from her medication or because of her problems themselves. She has been through & is still going through so much. By the same token, she should be made to understand that she should not invade her grandfather's privacy like that. I think that is entirely within a grandmother's province to do that & you should not be shy in doing it. I would. All kids need boundaries set as to acceptable behaviour, whether they have medical problems or not. Maybe the yelling is a side effect of her medication or something that she has lost control over because of her problems & the treatment she has had. Good luck with it all. Thinking of you as always.

Love

Junior

kate_ce1995 · Post by **kate_ce1995** » Mon May 07, 2007 5:20 am

Barb,

Does Kait's town have a transportation program for disabled and seniors? Even we have one of those up here in the sticks. Perhaps if there is one, she could take a job at the supermarket and have transportation. Up here the system even allows anyone to call for a ride and only charge a buck for the ride (seniors and those on disability ride free).

I feel so sorry for Kait. She is in such a tough position and I know how hard it's got to be for you to watch her not be her.

Katy

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Mon May 07, 2007 7:04 am

Hi Sis,

Poor, dear Kate. It does sound as if many of her symptoms are due to TBI (traumatic brain injury). The multiple (and endless) surgeries, infections, and increased pressures would most certainly cause actual damage........and significant personality changes.

Those behaviors that might be due to actual neurological damage include:

*"high speed" - hyperactivity or simply the "motor running all of the time", constant talking

*impulsivity - acting or speaking out without first thinking it through (making comments to strangers, going into grandpa's desk, etc.)

*diffculty focusing or short attention span - inability to follow a conversation sequentially or to its logical end, flitting from one topic to the next

*perseveration - continuuing a behavior relentlessly (reading the Bible all day perhaps?)

I am wondering if she has been seen by a specialist in TBI. I know there are medications that can help. We see similar symptoms in youngsters with ADHD and many are helped tremendously by medications. With the right medication she might be able to function in the work world.

In addition to brain damage, she certainly will have psychological damage, too, after what she has gone through. It would make sense that she would have problems with "boundaries", like going into someone else's desk, invading someone's space (being rude to a stranger for no reason), etc. She herself has had her body (and brain) "invaded" for years with all of the prodedures and hospitalizations she has experienced. Her own boundaries have been violated - she has learned that she has absolutely no control over her own body or what happens to it. An especially difficult situation for an adolescent who is dealing with issues of body image, budding sexuality, etc. If one cannot exert control over one's most basic functions (body), it is difficult to learn to respect the boundaries of others.

Is she receiving counselling? Again, it would be helpful if she could see someone knowledgeable about TBI. Many hospitals have centers or at least programs for TBI that pull together the multidisciplinary services that might be needed.

Have a good week, dear friend.

Love,

Polly

JJ · Post by JJ » Mon May 07, 2007 6:29 pm

Poor, poor Kait...this whole thing makes me sick! I agree that it would be great if she could get a ride to the super market. Sitting around all summer doesn't sound like fun! Hugs...JJ