Regarding work... what to tell and what not to tell

[greengirl78]

Hi everyone -
I have taken a few days off from work for all of the tests, and problems with the colitis. My manager is a real understanding guy, however the owner of the company is a different story.

I feel like I owe my manager some sort of explanation, however, I don't quite know how much to tell, and what to keep private.

So... What have you found has worked for you, and hasn't? (If you don't mind me asking.) I think I'm going to talk to him on Tuesday.

And second, have you found that your flares relate to stress? I am horrible at managing stress. My husband (and mother) tell me all the time ... to stop stressing, that I'm my own worst enemy, etc.

I have a CD called the relaxation response which I have been listening to the past couple nights, it helps! My old therapist gave it to me... It teaches you how to breath properly, focusing on every area of the body, over the course of the CD. The first time I tried it, I couldn't believe how peaceful and refreshed I felt afterwards.

[tex]

That's a very good question, because a lot of people, (including some doctors), consider MC to be "just a little diarrhea". I was pretty much worthless on the days when I was having a bad reaction, but fortunately I was working for myself, so I didn't have to worry about getting fired. I did have to worry about losing customers, though, which is just as bad. A lot of days I could only work about a half day, some days not at all, to say nothing of the frequent sprints, aka "the bathroom boogie".

For severe cases, it's possible to apply for SSI disability with MC, but most of the members who have done that have had to hire an attorney who specializes in SSI disability cases, in order to win approval from the agency.

When you tell someone that you have microscopic colitis, or an inflammatory bowel disease, the common response is "But you don't look sick!" We get that response even from our own family members, so you can imagine what an employer thinks. I believe that if I were in your position, I would tell them that I have an inflammatory bowel disease, similiar to Crohn's disease, or ulcerative colitis, (which is quite true), except that with microscopic colitis, you do not pass blood. Hopefully you can get some better opinions from some of the other members who have actually had to deal with an employer.

And yes, stress can cause an MC reaction just like any other trigger, and if you are already having a reaction, it can certainly make it worse, or keep it going. That's one of the reasons why tranquilizers are often prescribed as part of the treatment program, but one has to be careful, since some tranquilizers can trigger D on their own, (or cause other problems).

Tex

[ErinD]

I just told my boss exactly what was going on. She was very understanding and appreciated my explanation of being out so many days and from this point on she has given me allowance to work from home on days i can't make the hour and a half commute in to work. Granted i don't work in Retail, but still i hope your boss is understanding as well.

[Mars]

Seems nothing is private anymore huh!?

I told my boss in the manner that Tex said. He was aware that I spent many days going to the bathroom in running mode anyways so I just told him. After I did, he told me that he had a sister with Crohn's so he understood.

Funny, now he will tell me to quit stressing or "should you be eating that?" Kinda funny. I hope your boss is also understanding.

BTW - during flares - I always kept a change of clothes at work in case I had an accident. I had one once and was NOT prepared!

It's really up to you how much or how little you tell anyone. How comfortable you are or how much they really want to hear. Good luck!

Mars

[greengirl78]

Thank you all for your answers. He (my manager) is very understanding.

Tex - I like that phrase "Bathroom Boogie". That must be difficult, trying to run your own business while experiencing flares. I shudder to think about it.

Erin and Mars - Thank you both for sharing your experiences with me. I have been stressing about this... worrying what I should or shouldn't say. He knows something is up because I called out sick the day after the colonoscopy - I told him I had a test that had some nasty side effects.

I will keep the extra change of clothes in my car, I had never thought of that. Thankfully I live about ten minutes away from work... however, I would never want to get caught in that situation.

[tex]

For anyone who occasionally has "accidents" you may or may not want to consider this option, but during "high risk" times, some of us have worn adult diapers, or at least kept them available, in case we felt that we needed them, (kinda like a security blanket. LOL). Whether or not they would be practical for you, may depend on the type of clothes you wear, of course, and just how serious you feel the risk of an "accident" might be.

I can recall the experiences of one member, who had so many nocturnal "accidents", that she wore a diaper to bed, which greatly simplified her life, of course, by eliminating a lot of cleanup work. Fortunately, soon after that, she found that the chocolate she was eating contained soy, even though it was not on the label. She is now in remission and running marathons, believe it or not.

Anyway, that's another "security" option for "risky" times, when you absolutely have to be in public, and/or may not be able to get to a bathroom in time, such as on a long trip, (which a certain astronaut recently demonstrated, during a cross-country trip).

Tex

[mle_ii]

And second, have you found that your flares relate to stress? I am horrible at managing stress. My husband (and mother) tell me all the time ... to stop stressing, that I'm my own worst enemy, etc.

I have a CD called the relaxation response which I have been listening to the past couple nights, it helps! My old therapist gave it to me... It teaches you how to breath properly, focusing on every area of the body, over the course of the CD. The first time I tried it, I couldn't believe how peaceful and refreshed I felt afterwards.

I found that focusing on breathing helped with anxiety and stress. I have used meditation CDs and even the IBS CD set, and it helped and see how it does.

As far as work is concerned I'm pretty spoiled here. I can work from home, come in late, leave early, etc. So long as I'm getting my job done they aren't too concerned.

I shudder to think if I had a job like a taxi driver, or truck driver, or some other occupation where I didn't have the freedom I have now.

[mle_ii]

For anyone who occasionally has "accidents" you may or may not want to consider this option, but during "high risk" times, some of us have worn adult diapers, or at least kept them available, in case we felt that we needed them, (kinda like a security blanket. LOL). Whether or not they would be practical for you, may depend on the type of clothes you wear, of course, and just how serious you feel the risk of an "accident" might be.

I can recall the experiences of one member, who had so many nocturnal "accidents", that she wore a diaper to bed, which greatly simplified her life, of course, by eliminating a lot of cleanup work. Fortunately, soon after that, she found that the chocolate she was eating contained soy, even though it was not on the label. She is now in remission and running marathons, believe it or not.

Anyway, that's another "security" option for "risky" times, when you absolutely have to be in public, and/or may not be able to get to a bathroom in time, such as on a long trip, (which a certain astronaut recently demonstrated, during a cross-country trip).

Tex

FWIW, I found that just having those "security" items with me helped with the panic attacks, stress I felt when traveling. Usually carried an extra set of clothes, a towel, baby wipes, immodium in a small back pack for trips where I thought I might need them. I think just having those things gives us some ability to relax just enough so we don't compound our symptoms with stress.

Mike