Here is how it went, he was really nice, and we got along fine, BUT he was always away, off somewhere working, never available on weekends and didn't want to meet my family. He only gave me a cell phone number because as he was only separated around 10 months and travelled allot he would just stay at his friends house or his office when he was in town. He would call me when he was away, but not all the time, and never even told me when he would be going. So when he declined coming to a birthday party to meet my kids and family, I told him that everything pointed to him not being separated at all, and that he was still very much married, and I wouldn't have any part of that. He wrote me back saying then, not before when I layed out the fact that I wouldn't want to date him if he wasn't ready after his separation, that what I had said in my letter made him rethink his life, and that he had always held out the hope of getting back with him wife. So I said adios. So I was very much surprised to get an email from him once again, asking if I was still single, and that things didn't work out with his wife, and he had thought about me often and yadda, yadda, yadda. I wrote him and told him why I thought he was still married and why would I believe that he wasn't still just because he said so. And I thought he would just go away. Instead he wrote me back, explained himself. But I still was not sure, and so I wrote him again, asking him questions, seeing if he would answer my questions, and again to my surprise he did answer them. The only thing is that he still had not moved into his own place. He never asked me to go out, he just wanted to come here, and thought I would be just dying to welcome him. Now tell me if I am wrong, because most of you know how badly burned I have been in the past, and I just think that if you are separated and planning a new direction in your life, as you say that there is no question of going back to your marriage, ie. wife, that you have an apartment or something. Now its not like he doesn't have money, he has a great job, or so I am told. Works allot, drives a really fancy car, and dresses well. Am I being too cautious, I mean in the past I never thought you had to question a person's honesty, but now I just can't seem to believe just anything a person says. I question everything. I just don't trust at all. In my letter to him I just stated that the first thing a person does is find a place. Not having one after what is supposedly almost 2 years, is just fishy to me. I am not going to see anyone who is not what he seems. And it would be okay if he was having it tough, that I can understand, but putting on airs, nope. I guess the main thing is honesty, after what I went through, I can't have anything less.
But then I question if I am too harsh. He does know about my ex, what happened and so forth. My thinking is if he is a nice guy, then he will understand why I need this, if he is not, he will be upset and maybe call me something and I will never hear from him again. Either way it will be the answer that will be safe for me.
I wouldn't mind a man's view on this, my brother thinks that I am doing it the right way. I was not mean or anything, I just don't want to be played or hurt again.
Maybe this will mean that I will end up alone for the rest of my life, or eventually I will meet a man that will treat me the way I would want any other woman to be treated by her partner.
Advice anyone, or cheer me on.
Wendy
