Yes, I am sure that Kait will do OK---but my issues are with Lynn too---and that being---Lynn does NOT take Lou and I into consideration as to her plans-- and that pisses me off--
She just calls and says---Dad U WILL drive us to where-ever---and then in 2 weeks U will pick Kait up and then --and on and on---NOT asking is this time---day--year--month OK with U guys---are U busy--are U OK with all this---
GET the POINT!!!!!
Does she not GET that Lou and I have been involved with Kait's illness since she was born---that we watched her grow and grow--suffer and suffer---does Lynn think she is the only one that is OVERCOME with STRESS as to Kait's issues!!!!
I know we are all that she has to fall back on BUT it would be NICE to ASK before she makes plans!!!
I feel like a STAND-BY service---call --make plans---and then ASK--
Thats not how life goes---
Sorry if I sound like a totally mean bitch---sorry about the entire post--but I am *spent*
Barbara
Xpressing my Issues further
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
-
barbaranoela
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 5394
- Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 6:11 pm
- Location: New York
Xpressing my Issues further
the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control
Morning Barbara,
Yes, you are right - it's definitely inconsiderate of Lynn to behave that way. I'm sure it's just a matter of habit, on her part. Not being a parent myself, I have make a guess here, rather than base this on experience, but I have a hunch that a heck of a lot of parents find themselves in a similar situation - namely being taken for granted by their kids, as far as their time and services are concerned.
For Lynn's part, I'm sure she feels that she really has no choice - she has no hubby, no ex that she can rely on, no in-laws who can help, and no other relatives nearby who might be able to help - you and Lou are "it". You two are the only ones in her "family", that she can fall back on, when she needs help. To simplify the writing a bit from here on, I'll just use the word "you" to mean "you and Lou".
That said, Lynn definitely needs to be made aware that your time is just as valuable as hers, and it's your responsibility to schedule your own time, it's not her responsibility, (IOW, Lynn doesn't automatically "own" your time, just because you are always willing to help). If you are expected to be a part of her plans, then you should certainly be involved in the planning process, especially before she makes any final plans. It's her job to decide what should be done, regarding Kait's welfare, but it's certainly your right to ask that those plans be modified, whenever they conflict with your own plans for your own time.
Hopefully, you can find a tactful way to point this out to her, and get her to understand what an awkward position she sometimes places you in, without having a family "falling out", where everyone walks away, wishing it had never happened. This incident will soon be history, but Lynn will always be your daughter, and so how she feels about you, and how you feel about her, is the most important issue. How she treats you, and how you treat her, are secondary to how you truly feel about each other.
Luve,
Galahad
Yes, you are right - it's definitely inconsiderate of Lynn to behave that way. I'm sure it's just a matter of habit, on her part. Not being a parent myself, I have make a guess here, rather than base this on experience, but I have a hunch that a heck of a lot of parents find themselves in a similar situation - namely being taken for granted by their kids, as far as their time and services are concerned.
For Lynn's part, I'm sure she feels that she really has no choice - she has no hubby, no ex that she can rely on, no in-laws who can help, and no other relatives nearby who might be able to help - you and Lou are "it". You two are the only ones in her "family", that she can fall back on, when she needs help. To simplify the writing a bit from here on, I'll just use the word "you" to mean "you and Lou".
That said, Lynn definitely needs to be made aware that your time is just as valuable as hers, and it's your responsibility to schedule your own time, it's not her responsibility, (IOW, Lynn doesn't automatically "own" your time, just because you are always willing to help). If you are expected to be a part of her plans, then you should certainly be involved in the planning process, especially before she makes any final plans. It's her job to decide what should be done, regarding Kait's welfare, but it's certainly your right to ask that those plans be modified, whenever they conflict with your own plans for your own time.
Hopefully, you can find a tactful way to point this out to her, and get her to understand what an awkward position she sometimes places you in, without having a family "falling out", where everyone walks away, wishing it had never happened. This incident will soon be history, but Lynn will always be your daughter, and so how she feels about you, and how you feel about her, is the most important issue. How she treats you, and how you treat her, are secondary to how you truly feel about each other.
Luve,
Galahad
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.