To Kittyquartz (Angy)

angy · Post by **angy** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 1:07 pm

Thank you so much for sharing that with me wayne.. ..A very sad story...i feel for you,, but dont ever blame yourself, you did what you could for him when you were with him.

You also had your own life to live as well. It wouldnt matter how much, ever, if we wrapped them up in cotton wool all the time. At the end of the day if they want to end their life...they will. we can only try to prolong their life just that little bit longer... Its very tragic wayne...I see and hear of this in my job. I work as a mental health support worker and have for 14 yrs..Guess this is probably the reason i do this type of work reallly. And yes theres been quite a few suicides, thank god never on my watch...so far..

My brother has been ill since early 80,s hes 48 now but he is at a fairly good level with his mental health. He has not been in a psychy hospital for a while. H e kept out of hospital for over 20yrs..which is incredible. However He suffered a relapse in his illness last year...meds stopped working and spent 1 yr in hospital.

I have support workers like myself working with him,this is to give me a break because i work full time as well.

My dear old mum after her sabacharoid heamorrage was unable to cope with him..so i took over after my 2nd year of social work college. We never saw dad much after mum and him got divorced..But hey life went on as best we could make it..

then dad passed 1998 and then mum 2003...god i miss her so much

but im stronger now..took a long time to come to terms with that..never a day goes by that i dont think of her...It was her birthday on the 27th of this month..I always buy some flowers to put beside her photo..I always bought her flowers on her birthday...she loved flowers..Anyway i still do this every year...

Sorry wayne wont give you my life story...

Anyway i am so grateful you shared that with me wayne, there not everone that has a story like that...I can understand completely...

Again please dont blame yourself for what you think you couldve done..It was not your fault so dont feel guilty...

Live your life as best you can wayne and be happy.. :bigbighug:

take care wayne

wkm62 · Post by **wkm62** » Sun Aug 31, 2008 8:25 pm

jodibelle352 · Post by **jodibelle352** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 11:42 am

Hi Wayne:

So very sorry to hear about your loss. When this happens to a family it's so very hard to understand. Hopefully, knowing that you're not alone and that others have had to face this type of loss will help you in some small way.

You are not alone in having times of severe depression where your post seem to be down heartened. You're hurting right now and now is the time you need us here.

I have found out over the past couple weeks that keeping silent and keeping things inside only make things worse. I've also come realize that each and everyone on these boards has a special gift of sharing and helping us through anything we may be facing.

Recently I've been shutting out people because I didn't want to be a downer on their day. With Angy, Tex, Barb and yourself included I've come to know that I AM NOT ALONE. I've also realized that I DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE only if I choose to be.

Wayne, the loss of your brother is tragic but you are not in any way to blame for the choice he made. When I first met my husband; David 36 yrs ago his first wife took her own life. I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my husband who felt so guilty and he carried that guilt for a very long time. Your brother did not do this to punish anyone or to deliberately hurt anyone. He was in pain, a pain that most of us do not understand and can't possible comprehend. For those who suffer from mental illnesses such as your brother had, life as WE know it is just unbareable and the only way they can relieve the pain is to take their own lives.

Please, please don't blame yourself Wayne. When the choice to take his life was made there was nothing anyone could do. His mind was made up and he chose to do this at a time when nobody would beable to stop him. He wanted his pain to go away.

I told David, when MaryAnn chose to take her own life she was very ill but inside she was a very beautiful person. She was his wife and a mother. Back in 1972 mental illness was treated in many different ways that were very invasive causing more damage. I am telling you just like I told David, MaryAnn and your brother loved you very much but just could not handle their mental problems and no longer wanted their families to be burdened.

Someday things will become easier for you and your family. But this first year is going to be very rough. Just don't ever forget that we here will do our very best to help you through those rough times.

Love and God Bless:
Jodi

P.S. May God and all His angels, watchover, protect and guide you and your family through this very complicated time when acceptance is so very important. Allow yourself to be comforted by your guardian angel and "Let Go and Let God" take your grief and pain.

angy · Post by **angy** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 3:17 pm

Wayne im glad to hear your a feeling some of the load lifted...and i happy to be able to give you some strength.It will get lighter as the years go by believe me!! Dont worry about serious posts ,,chat with me anytime you know ill help you as much as i can..Every one here are a tower of strength so dont feel guilty about talking on a serious level..

Keep planting those beautiful dahlias...give them all life...

in place of lives lost..and also to enjoy their beauty..

And yes i planted some too. I got bright red, yellow and white. they are so beautiful. I love my garden and spend quite a bit of time growing plants, as you do ...nurturing them and enjoy watching them bloom..Mind you... your dahlias are awesome :cool:

...A very good job ...well done!!

I look forward to your pics Wayne...

take care and give your heart and soul a rest from worry... :bigbighug:

angy · Post by **angy** » Mon Sep 01, 2008 3:19 pm

Thank you for sharing that Jodi...very beautiful... :flyingdoveleft:

wkm62 · Post by **wkm62** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:40 am

jodibelle352 · Post by **jodibelle352** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:07 am

Hi Wayne:

You are very welcome and the questions you are asking and the support you are seeking is right here. Those of us on this board are facing medical issues that we need to beable to have our questions answered and receive support. You are now finding that some of us can also help you and others with other issues because we've been there and we truly want to help and care. If you need to vent or need reassurance we are here for you.

Love and God Bless:
Jodi