Hi. Now that i have found this site I am so happy. For 6 years I have had MC, although I did not know what it was until just a month ago. Over the years I have had some issues that have come up and I would like to know how others handle these things.
In my job I have to attend a lot of meetings. I am at meetings at least one day of every week. There are times when because of MC I have to leave the meeting to use the restroom every 15 minutes or so. People do notice and I am teased a lot about having a small bladder. I would rather people think that than know the real problem. Friends also notice when we are having dinner together or doing other socializing. MC is not a condition i feel comfortable sharing except with the people I am closet to. It is not the most dignified of illnesses and it is embarrasing at times.
How do others handle this? Do your friends and co-workers notice that you are often leaving the room to go to the bathroom? Do they ask questions, and if so what do you tell them? I am often uncomfortable when I i have to go to meetings because it is quite embarrasing to leave the room every few minutes.
MC is not a condition that you can hide from people like other illnesses. Because it often requires frequent bathroom trips, people do notice. What do I tell people when they ask if i am ok?
Sorry if this seems like a stupid question, but it is an issue that for me, comes up often.
Thanks for any help.
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Andi;
Once again, there is no such thing as a "stupid question". I certainly understand. It's a bit different with me, because I'm a nurse. When I first got sick, since nurses do talk about gross things, I told all my co-workers about my need for frequent bathroom visits. I worked in a hospital at that time, and my co-workers had to "cover" for me if I spent time in the bathroom, so I felt it was important to share the situation with them.
However, now I am not having symptoms, but I find myself controlling it with a very restrictive diet (gluten free!) People often ask me what happens if I eat gluten and I just respond "you probably don't want to know the details. Just believe me, it's not nice." Is there something like that that you could feel comfortable sharing with your co-workers and friends. You could also say something about how much you dislike it - "Boy, I wish I didn't have to leave so often. It's not fun for me at all." Now that you have a diagnosis, you could even let people know that you and your dr are working on finding a way to help you stay in meetings and out of the bathroom.
I don't know, these are just suggestions. Good luck and know that my thoughts are with you as you continue to work through this.
G'ma Mary
Once again, there is no such thing as a "stupid question". I certainly understand. It's a bit different with me, because I'm a nurse. When I first got sick, since nurses do talk about gross things, I told all my co-workers about my need for frequent bathroom visits. I worked in a hospital at that time, and my co-workers had to "cover" for me if I spent time in the bathroom, so I felt it was important to share the situation with them.
However, now I am not having symptoms, but I find myself controlling it with a very restrictive diet (gluten free!) People often ask me what happens if I eat gluten and I just respond "you probably don't want to know the details. Just believe me, it's not nice." Is there something like that that you could feel comfortable sharing with your co-workers and friends. You could also say something about how much you dislike it - "Boy, I wish I didn't have to leave so often. It's not fun for me at all." Now that you have a diagnosis, you could even let people know that you and your dr are working on finding a way to help you stay in meetings and out of the bathroom.
I don't know, these are just suggestions. Good luck and know that my thoughts are with you as you continue to work through this.
G'ma Mary
Those who are not part of the solution, are part of the problem.
Thanks G'ma Mary, your comments help. I dont think I can tell all of my co-workers exactly what the problem is, but I do think I can share with some.
I did have to tell my boss, it is really humiliating having to share bodily functions with your boss but I had no choice.
I appreciate all of the things you had told me over the last few days. So many people on this forum who have dealt with this for years have a lot of widom to share.'
Being a nurse it is wonderful that your co-workers understand and are so willing to cover for you. It probably make it easier for you to understand what is happening in your body as well.
I keep hearing on this site that the GF diet seems to work wonders for a lot of people, it is something to really think about.
I did have to tell my boss, it is really humiliating having to share bodily functions with your boss but I had no choice.
I appreciate all of the things you had told me over the last few days. So many people on this forum who have dealt with this for years have a lot of widom to share.'
Being a nurse it is wonderful that your co-workers understand and are so willing to cover for you. It probably make it easier for you to understand what is happening in your body as well.
I keep hearing on this site that the GF diet seems to work wonders for a lot of people, it is something to really think about.
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greengirl78
- Adélie Penguin
- Posts: 69
- Joined: Fri Feb 15, 2008 6:36 am
- Location: Massachusetts
Hi Andi-
Welcome to the board, and sorry you have to be here. I was dxed w/Collagenous Colitis in Feb. 2008, after suffering off and on for a few years. I posted a lot at the time, but became very busy this summer and haven't been here for a while.
I can empathize with your position on what to tell, what not to tell. I have a couple of close friends at work who know the real story, my manager knows I have "stomach issues" and two other coworkers think I have food allergies. Tell them as much as you are comfortable sharing. I figured I should at least let my manager know that I had problems, and would occasionally not be in.
Have you tried Pepto Bismal? (I don't know if I spelled that right, if not, I'm sorry). I take Lomotil when it gets bad, sometimes two at a time to just calm things down briefly. I also resort back to the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast) diet when things get rough, which they still do every once in a while.
I haven't attempted Dr. Fine's tests yet - trying to get it all under control with meds first.
Welcome again, and keep asking great questions! Everyone here is a wealth of info, and loves sharing their personal experience, and advice.
Welcome to the board, and sorry you have to be here. I was dxed w/Collagenous Colitis in Feb. 2008, after suffering off and on for a few years. I posted a lot at the time, but became very busy this summer and haven't been here for a while.
I can empathize with your position on what to tell, what not to tell. I have a couple of close friends at work who know the real story, my manager knows I have "stomach issues" and two other coworkers think I have food allergies. Tell them as much as you are comfortable sharing. I figured I should at least let my manager know that I had problems, and would occasionally not be in.
Have you tried Pepto Bismal? (I don't know if I spelled that right, if not, I'm sorry). I take Lomotil when it gets bad, sometimes two at a time to just calm things down briefly. I also resort back to the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce and Toast) diet when things get rough, which they still do every once in a while.
I haven't attempted Dr. Fine's tests yet - trying to get it all under control with meds first.
Welcome again, and keep asking great questions! Everyone here is a wealth of info, and loves sharing their personal experience, and advice.
If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace. - Thich Nhat Hahn
Thanks to everyone for giving me suggestions. I think things like "stomach issues" would probably work. They would understand without me having to embarass myself by explaining further.
Also, thanks for the BRAT diet, I had not heard of it. I will definitely do that when it gets bad.
I also take immodium every day. I wonder if it is bad to take it about 4 or 5 times a day, every day. Does anyone else live on them as I seem to do?
Everyone is so great, so many helpful ideas and so much to share. Thank you!
Also, thanks for the BRAT diet, I had not heard of it. I will definitely do that when it gets bad.
I also take immodium every day. I wonder if it is bad to take it about 4 or 5 times a day, every day. Does anyone else live on them as I seem to do?
Everyone is so great, so many helpful ideas and so much to share. Thank you!
Andi,
Stupid question? . . . no way! That's a question that we all have to deal with, and I'm sure we all have different thoughts on the matter, because each of us lives in an "environment" that is somewhat unique to our own particular lifestyle.
For people who need to know, (such as close friends, family, co-workers, supervisors, people who regularly attend meetings with me, etc.,), I tell them up front that I have a digestive system problem. If they want to go into detail, I tell them I have an inflammatory bowel disease. If they want more details than that, I'll keep going until they become grossed out, get their fill, or I run out of things to say, whichever comes first. LOL.
For people who don't need to know, I tell them nothing, unless they ask. If they ask, I'll go into as much detail as is necessary.
Call me obnoxious, but I make every effort to not be embarrassed by it. My attitude is based on the fact that I didn't ask to have MC - fate dealt it to me, and if I am forced to live with it, against my will, I see no reason why I should be embarrassed because of it. If I do or say something stupid, then I have every right to be embarrassed, and I will be. Having a disease, though, that I did not bring on myself, (certainly not intentionally, at least), is no reason to be embarrassed. The fact of the matter is, MC is now a permanent part of our lives, and it is part of who we are. I hesitate to say that it defines who we are, because that would be the case only if we chose to let it go on uncontrolled. As long as we are making a dedicated effort to control it as best we can, then we are in control, and the MC is just another item that we have to deal with, (such as hay fever, or asthma, or whatever. There's no reason to be embarrassed by asthma, (it's not our fault that we have it), and there's no reason to be embarrassed by MC, (for the same reason).
I realize that convincing yourself to have an attitude of this sort might be easier said than done, (especially for a lady), but there are a lot of issues connected with MC that are not particularly easy to deal with. We have to be a little thick-skinned, or it will get us down, in the long run. And occasionally, when things really go wrong, sometimes you just have to laugh, to keep from crying. It will do wonders for your attitude, and it fits right in with the "humble" aspect.
At least that's the way I see it.
Tex
P S There are members here who have been known to use as many as eight Immodium pills per day, apparently without any significant problems. As with any opioid-based med, there is a slight risk of impaction, with long-term use, but normally that would only apply if you were to continue taking the med when there was no need for it, (IOW, after you already had constipation). That risk applies mostly to opioid-based painkillers, where people will continue taking them without paying attention to their BMs, (or lack of BMs).
Stupid question? . . . no way! That's a question that we all have to deal with, and I'm sure we all have different thoughts on the matter, because each of us lives in an "environment" that is somewhat unique to our own particular lifestyle.
For people who need to know, (such as close friends, family, co-workers, supervisors, people who regularly attend meetings with me, etc.,), I tell them up front that I have a digestive system problem. If they want to go into detail, I tell them I have an inflammatory bowel disease. If they want more details than that, I'll keep going until they become grossed out, get their fill, or I run out of things to say, whichever comes first. LOL.
For people who don't need to know, I tell them nothing, unless they ask. If they ask, I'll go into as much detail as is necessary.
Call me obnoxious, but I make every effort to not be embarrassed by it. My attitude is based on the fact that I didn't ask to have MC - fate dealt it to me, and if I am forced to live with it, against my will, I see no reason why I should be embarrassed because of it. If I do or say something stupid, then I have every right to be embarrassed, and I will be. Having a disease, though, that I did not bring on myself, (certainly not intentionally, at least), is no reason to be embarrassed. The fact of the matter is, MC is now a permanent part of our lives, and it is part of who we are. I hesitate to say that it defines who we are, because that would be the case only if we chose to let it go on uncontrolled. As long as we are making a dedicated effort to control it as best we can, then we are in control, and the MC is just another item that we have to deal with, (such as hay fever, or asthma, or whatever. There's no reason to be embarrassed by asthma, (it's not our fault that we have it), and there's no reason to be embarrassed by MC, (for the same reason).
I realize that convincing yourself to have an attitude of this sort might be easier said than done, (especially for a lady), but there are a lot of issues connected with MC that are not particularly easy to deal with. We have to be a little thick-skinned, or it will get us down, in the long run. And occasionally, when things really go wrong, sometimes you just have to laugh, to keep from crying. It will do wonders for your attitude, and it fits right in with the "humble" aspect.
At least that's the way I see it.
Tex
P S There are members here who have been known to use as many as eight Immodium pills per day, apparently without any significant problems. As with any opioid-based med, there is a slight risk of impaction, with long-term use, but normally that would only apply if you were to continue taking the med when there was no need for it, (IOW, after you already had constipation). That risk applies mostly to opioid-based painkillers, where people will continue taking them without paying attention to their BMs, (or lack of BMs).
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
I thought it was OK because it was on the BRAT diet .Tex,
What you said makes a lot of sense. I am not sure I am quite there yet but I am striving to be. I really like what you had to say, it is not our fault and we should not feel badly for it.
My boss is generally good about it, but sometimes he gets frustrated at me. Also, if i have a few weeks where i am feeling good and I go on a hike, he will bring that up to me the next time I cannot go into the field for work. He will say something like,"you were able to go hiking a few weeks ago, why can't you go into the field today"? I dont think he knows of all the times i could NOT go hiking. People who dont have this dont understand the unpredictability of it all. There are many, many good days, but then without warning the problems start again.
What you said makes a lot of sense. I am not sure I am quite there yet but I am striving to be. I really like what you had to say, it is not our fault and we should not feel badly for it.
My boss is generally good about it, but sometimes he gets frustrated at me. Also, if i have a few weeks where i am feeling good and I go on a hike, he will bring that up to me the next time I cannot go into the field for work. He will say something like,"you were able to go hiking a few weeks ago, why can't you go into the field today"? I dont think he knows of all the times i could NOT go hiking. People who dont have this dont understand the unpredictability of it all. There are many, many good days, but then without warning the problems start again.
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Carol Arnett
- Gentoo Penguin
- Posts: 423
- Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:07 pm
questions
Hi Andi,
When I was working I had my first flare which lasted 6 weeks and was so intense I had to take that time off. Of course, I had to tell my boss why and yes, it was a little embarrassing.
One evening I had a "new Assistant mgr". on duty when I suddenly found that I had had a minor but smelly accident without even knowing it was happening. I had to call Matt to ask if I could go home to change my clothes and clean up. He, of course, asked what the problem was and I just plainly told him I had a digestive problem that sometimes causes "accidents". Believe me, he was more embarrassed than I. At the same time I told him that this problem (I just said Colitis) would be requiring me to visit the bathroom more often than normal and he never asked any more questions. Thank goodness, I was wearing a protective pad at the time or it could have been a lot worse. Just tell people what you are comfortable with. Carol
When I was working I had my first flare which lasted 6 weeks and was so intense I had to take that time off. Of course, I had to tell my boss why and yes, it was a little embarrassing.
One evening I had a "new Assistant mgr". on duty when I suddenly found that I had had a minor but smelly accident without even knowing it was happening. I had to call Matt to ask if I could go home to change my clothes and clean up. He, of course, asked what the problem was and I just plainly told him I had a digestive problem that sometimes causes "accidents". Believe me, he was more embarrassed than I. At the same time I told him that this problem (I just said Colitis) would be requiring me to visit the bathroom more often than normal and he never asked any more questions. Thank goodness, I was wearing a protective pad at the time or it could have been a lot worse. Just tell people what you are comfortable with. Carol
Carol Arnett
I suppose it's just human nature to make remarks such as that, especially for those who don't understand the nature of the disease. My response to a question such as that would be something like, "When I went hiking a few weeks ago, my colitis was not acting up, and I felt fine. I wish that I were able to go out today, but the colitis is flaring today, so I have to stay close to a bathroom - it only gives a few seconds warning, sometimes".Andi wrote:He will say something like,"you were able to go hiking a few weeks ago, why can't you go into the field today"?
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.