Hi all,
I will be heading home for Christmas on Thursday. (We decided to drive on the day bc last year, when we went the day after, it took us forever). I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be thinking of you, but I may not have much chance to check in and post until after New Year's.
Home is going to be a little difficult for me because of all the health issues. Due to the fact that we live about 14 hours away from our families, they're mostly not aware of how sick I've been and continue to be. They know, but they don't really know, ya know? Despite the fact that I've had symptoms since I was a senior in high school (Just beginning to realize that all of this is related).
My parents are great parents, as they constantly remind me, so they are concerned, but as they have been my whole life, they are overly concerned to the point where it is no longer helpful. I am very close to my mom, but she can't handle anything being wrong with her children. She keeps saying, "You're getting better, right? Of course you're getting better," etc. And I am not getting better, so this is very frustrating. And it just makes my Dad so sad that I don't feel well, because he wants to fix everything and he can't. The don't understand how much more difficult this makes things for me, whereas if they could just suck it up and deal with it, it would be a lot easier.
My problem with my MIL is that no one in her entire family has ever been sick, apparently, so I've always been the sickly hypochondriac who makes everyone go out of their way. AND that woman loves to eat, so anyone who doesn't (or can't) is offensive. Once, before we were married, my husband and I got in a huge silly fight and broke up for a couple of days and then realized it was stupid and got over it. Meanwhile, though, MIL and SIL decided to go into attack mode and say that my issues with food were clearly just an excuse not to eat so that I could stay skinny. While this was years ago, I remember it every time I have to not eat something. I know my husband just wants me to feel better, so he's not the problem, but they are upset about the fact that he has to deal with a sick wife. (On a related note, everytime he does something they don't like, it's somehow my fault.)
And then there are my grandmothers, one of whom has smoked for sixty years and the other of whom has eaten whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. Now they are both angry about the fact that, after having felt wonderful for most of their lives, they are starting to go downhill. Well, the first grandmother continues to smoke despite the fact that my grandfather died of lung cancer and that she has congestive heart failure, and the second one eats whatever she wants despite her diabetes and high blood pressure. True Story: about four years ago, grandma #2 went to the hospital with dangerously high BP, afraid she was going to have a stroke. After she got out, the first thing the woman did was make us stop at Kentucky Fried Chicken so she could get dinner. I was furious! And I have been healthy literally my whole life bc not eating junk food and making sure we exercised was part of my parents' perfect parenting plan. And I have taken care of myself, and never cheated on the diet, etc., and still I am sick. I have been sick since I was 18! I cannot deal with the two of them complaining about how awful it is to get old and be sick! Most of their issues are self-inflicted.
Also, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia this fall, which I forgot to update. For the past few days, the pain has been almost unbearable, maybe an effect of the -3 degree weather. I was practically crippled on Friday night. I'm really scared that maybe something is terribly wrong with me, and I feel very much alone and guilty for putting everyone through this. And I feel like in some way, the family feels like, because I am young, I haven't yet earned the "right" to feel like crap, or to be in pain, or to be tired.
I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I am getting so stressed out about going home and having to deal with all this. I love my family, but sometimes I feel like I am just going through the motions for them so that they won't have to worry, and I feel like nobody really cares about me or that they're mad at me for being sick.
Thank you for listening.
Love,
Courtney
Home for Christmas...
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
Home for Christmas...
Hypothyroid 05/05
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
We love you and understand you.........I'm sorry you are contending with family issues as well as MC and fibromyalgia. Not pleasant at all.
I hope you can make it through the holidays at home with as little hassle as possible. Your DH needs to go to bat for you especially with his family.
Love,
I hope you can make it through the holidays at home with as little hassle as possible. Your DH needs to go to bat for you especially with his family.
Love,
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV.
LDN July 18, 2014
Joan
LDN July 18, 2014
Joan
Courtney, Joan is right!!
We love you and don't ever apologize for needing to vent.
Alot of us have family issues that reallllllly stress us out.
It took me many years to learn to take care of me and not worry about what the other family members wanted me to do or what they thought!!
I am not the "yes" person that I use to be and guess what??
I don't give a poo anymore!!!!
You do what "you" need to do when your with your family.
It's not good for your health to be under such stress.
Love
Dee~~~
We love you and don't ever apologize for needing to vent.
Alot of us have family issues that reallllllly stress us out.
It took me many years to learn to take care of me and not worry about what the other family members wanted me to do or what they thought!!
I am not the "yes" person that I use to be and guess what??
I don't give a poo anymore!!!!
You do what "you" need to do when your with your family.
It's not good for your health to be under such stress.
Love
Dee~~~
"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others."
Thank you both for the support.
Joan, I cannot tell you how many times my husband has gone to bat for me with his family--that's part of the problem. He can talk until he's blue in the face, but it doesn't make any difference--or not for long anyway. My MIL is a very openly opinionated and accomplished person, and she doesn't really get that sometimes you need to just be nice to people whether you get them and their issues or not. She has very high standards for herself and everyone around her, which is why she and my FIL are bitterly divorced and why my SIL couldn't finish college bc she never felt like she could live up to her mom's standards. My DH reacts by giving as good as he gets--in the form of degrees, publications, and even travel. The two of them practically keep tallies. When we went to Hawaii, she had to go not a month later, bc she "couldn't let us get ahead of her" (her words).
Dee, you let me know how you finally managed not to give a "poo"--I'm trying really hard not to, but I am such a people-pleaser! I hope to eventually discover the secret! In a weird way, being sick is helping with that. I don't want to use my limited energy worrying about what other people (even my family) think.
Courtney
Joan, I cannot tell you how many times my husband has gone to bat for me with his family--that's part of the problem. He can talk until he's blue in the face, but it doesn't make any difference--or not for long anyway. My MIL is a very openly opinionated and accomplished person, and she doesn't really get that sometimes you need to just be nice to people whether you get them and their issues or not. She has very high standards for herself and everyone around her, which is why she and my FIL are bitterly divorced and why my SIL couldn't finish college bc she never felt like she could live up to her mom's standards. My DH reacts by giving as good as he gets--in the form of degrees, publications, and even travel. The two of them practically keep tallies. When we went to Hawaii, she had to go not a month later, bc she "couldn't let us get ahead of her" (her words).
Dee, you let me know how you finally managed not to give a "poo"--I'm trying really hard not to, but I am such a people-pleaser! I hope to eventually discover the secret! In a weird way, being sick is helping with that. I don't want to use my limited energy worrying about what other people (even my family) think.
Courtney
Hypothyroid 05/05
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
I used to be a people pleaser also, and I just palan and simple got burned out.
Don't take me wrong, I still have compassion, sympathy, etc., and would give someone the shirt off my back.
But, when it comes to petty, materialistic, etc., I don't have time for it, so I won't waste my time or energy.
Love
Dee~~~
Don't take me wrong, I still have compassion, sympathy, etc., and would give someone the shirt off my back.
But, when it comes to petty, materialistic, etc., I don't have time for it, so I won't waste my time or energy.
Love
Dee~~~
"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others."
Hi Courtney,
Wow! You've already received some great advice on this. Of course, trying to please an overachiever such as your MIL, is a lost cause, so personally, I would just tune her out, but I realize that's much easier said, than done.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with all this at Christmas, and I'm especially sorry that you haven't been able to achieve remission, despite your best efforts. Of course, even if you were in remission, having to follow a special diet would probably still be a point of contention to some friends and relatives, but at least if you were in remission, you would be able to justify the diet by pointing to the absense of symptoms. If you've been having symptoms for roughly a decade, then they are not going to go away very quickly, even with a flawless treatment plan. In all that time, your gut accumulated enough damage that healing will almost surely take a significant amount of time. The celiac damage has probably mostly healed by now, but MC can be very persistant, due to the fact that so many foods can irritate the epithelia of the intestines, and prolong the healing process. I wish I could tell you when to expect remission to occur, but unfortunately, as you know, we are all different, which makes meaningful predictions a virtually impossible task.
You know what? You have succinctly put into words why so many of us tend to become so tense and "uneasy" whenever we're around many of our friends and family members. You've hit the nail on the head, and come right out and said what sort of subconsciously bothers many/most of us in that situation. It's the "misguided" over-concern" by some people, and the thinly-disguised feelings by others, that we're sort of party-poopers, because we aren't willing to eat what everyone else eats, etc, . And, of course, part of the problem is the fact that no matter how "rough" we feel, to most people, we don't really appear to be all that sick, and "everyone knows" that "a little diarrhea" is not that big a deal, so obviously, (to them, at least), we must be a perfect example of a world class wuss.
Obviously, all this unnecessary stress contributes to both our mental and physical problems, and makes our clinical symptoms worse. We can't win, because if we don't visit with our families and friends, that results in stress of a different type, which may be even more unpleasant to deal with.
I'm pretty sure that your family is not really atypical, though they do seem to have perfected the art of making you feel very uncomfortable. Clearly, certain members of your family, (your MIL, specificially), will always be a huge obstacle to your health and well-being. Frankly, if I were in your husband's shoes, in view of all that has happened, I think that I might give some serious thought to just cutting the ties - a serious move, I know, but it may be necessary, to assure your future health and well-being.
Virtually all of us have to deal with a similar environment, to varying degrees, with various family members and friends. To be honest, I find most family get-togethers to be very "unsatisfying", since the advent of my disease. In fact, if it were left up to me, (IOW, if it wouldn't blatantly offend everyone), I wouldn't attend many/most of those get-togethers. I know that's a sad statement, but it's true.
It's a shame that we're scattered all around the globe, because it just occurred to me that we would probably all benefit greatly from getting together just before Christmas, and having our own little party, where we could actually relax, and talk about these issues, and help each other to deal with all the conflicting emotions that we have to deal with, especially during this time of the year.
Depression is a major part of MC, (and it almost surely is, to some extent, with celiac disease, also), and I have a hunch that having to deal with others is a much larger fraction of that depression, than having to deal with the disease itself, and/or it's physical effects on us. For me, at least, I never actually felt depressed about being sick, per se, but knowing that the topic was always going to come up at get-togethers, and that there would almost always be someone there who would dwell on it, and having to deal with the public in general, for that matter, was/is usually enough to make me feel depressed, and I'm a laid-back guy, who "never" gets depressed.
There has to be a way that we can survive the holidays without undue suffering. Why should we suffer needlessly, and why should our families and close friends get all "uptight" and even "confrontational" about it? The holidays should be a happy time - they shouldn't turn out to be a depressing event, and they shouldn't put us at risk of a relapse, or worsening symptoms, but the fact of the matter is that they often, (maybe even usually), do. That shouldn't happen. So how can we avoid this dilemma? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on this.
Love,
Tex
Wow! You've already received some great advice on this. Of course, trying to please an overachiever such as your MIL, is a lost cause, so personally, I would just tune her out, but I realize that's much easier said, than done.
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with all this at Christmas, and I'm especially sorry that you haven't been able to achieve remission, despite your best efforts. Of course, even if you were in remission, having to follow a special diet would probably still be a point of contention to some friends and relatives, but at least if you were in remission, you would be able to justify the diet by pointing to the absense of symptoms. If you've been having symptoms for roughly a decade, then they are not going to go away very quickly, even with a flawless treatment plan. In all that time, your gut accumulated enough damage that healing will almost surely take a significant amount of time. The celiac damage has probably mostly healed by now, but MC can be very persistant, due to the fact that so many foods can irritate the epithelia of the intestines, and prolong the healing process. I wish I could tell you when to expect remission to occur, but unfortunately, as you know, we are all different, which makes meaningful predictions a virtually impossible task.
You know what? You have succinctly put into words why so many of us tend to become so tense and "uneasy" whenever we're around many of our friends and family members. You've hit the nail on the head, and come right out and said what sort of subconsciously bothers many/most of us in that situation. It's the "misguided" over-concern" by some people, and the thinly-disguised feelings by others, that we're sort of party-poopers, because we aren't willing to eat what everyone else eats, etc, . And, of course, part of the problem is the fact that no matter how "rough" we feel, to most people, we don't really appear to be all that sick, and "everyone knows" that "a little diarrhea" is not that big a deal, so obviously, (to them, at least), we must be a perfect example of a world class wuss.
Obviously, all this unnecessary stress contributes to both our mental and physical problems, and makes our clinical symptoms worse. We can't win, because if we don't visit with our families and friends, that results in stress of a different type, which may be even more unpleasant to deal with.
I'm pretty sure that your family is not really atypical, though they do seem to have perfected the art of making you feel very uncomfortable. Clearly, certain members of your family, (your MIL, specificially), will always be a huge obstacle to your health and well-being. Frankly, if I were in your husband's shoes, in view of all that has happened, I think that I might give some serious thought to just cutting the ties - a serious move, I know, but it may be necessary, to assure your future health and well-being.
Virtually all of us have to deal with a similar environment, to varying degrees, with various family members and friends. To be honest, I find most family get-togethers to be very "unsatisfying", since the advent of my disease. In fact, if it were left up to me, (IOW, if it wouldn't blatantly offend everyone), I wouldn't attend many/most of those get-togethers. I know that's a sad statement, but it's true.
It's a shame that we're scattered all around the globe, because it just occurred to me that we would probably all benefit greatly from getting together just before Christmas, and having our own little party, where we could actually relax, and talk about these issues, and help each other to deal with all the conflicting emotions that we have to deal with, especially during this time of the year.
Depression is a major part of MC, (and it almost surely is, to some extent, with celiac disease, also), and I have a hunch that having to deal with others is a much larger fraction of that depression, than having to deal with the disease itself, and/or it's physical effects on us. For me, at least, I never actually felt depressed about being sick, per se, but knowing that the topic was always going to come up at get-togethers, and that there would almost always be someone there who would dwell on it, and having to deal with the public in general, for that matter, was/is usually enough to make me feel depressed, and I'm a laid-back guy, who "never" gets depressed.
There has to be a way that we can survive the holidays without undue suffering. Why should we suffer needlessly, and why should our families and close friends get all "uptight" and even "confrontational" about it? The holidays should be a happy time - they shouldn't turn out to be a depressing event, and they shouldn't put us at risk of a relapse, or worsening symptoms, but the fact of the matter is that they often, (maybe even usually), do. That shouldn't happen. So how can we avoid this dilemma? I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on this.
Love,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Hi Tex,
No, I don't think my family is any worse or better than any other. They all have their issues.
It is tough, especially at the holidays, though, because food seems to be such a big deal. I would also like to hear other people's thoughts on this. If it were just a question of not eating, or eating before or after the events, it would be one thing, but it's the pressure others put on you to eat things you know you're going to regret.
Food is such an important part of the holidays and so bound up in memories and emotions, so it's no wonder that people feel deeply threatened on some level when they feel like their food is rejected or changed. True Funny Grandma Story (I got a million of 'em): The first year my grandmothers spent Thanksgiving together at my parents house (I must have been about 12), my mom asked her MIL to make the dressing. This dressing was different than the dressing my mom's family made. So my other grandmother hissed to my mother: "That's not our dressing!" and itimated that her Thanksgiving was completely ruined and pouted for most of the day.
I'm fortunate that I have a relatively small family, and that my husband does most of the cooking for the two of us at home, and for our families when we're together. He enjoys it and he's good at it, so we all let him do it.
So he understands what I need, and if he's doing the cooking I'm usually okay. It can get difficult when others jump in and start switching spoons around or doing harmless (from their point of view) things like stirring food I'm going to eat with wooden spoons that have bits of gluten clinging to them. The toughest part is getting people to understand that a little bit can do a world of damage. And that gluten is in things other than wheat. I have hopes that eventually this will get easier as people learn more.
I think one of the issues we have is that, given the distance we have to drive, we usually get big doses of our families at once. On the positive side, we always appreciate each other much more after we've been home for a week or so!
Love,
Courtney
No, I don't think my family is any worse or better than any other. They all have their issues.
It is tough, especially at the holidays, though, because food seems to be such a big deal. I would also like to hear other people's thoughts on this. If it were just a question of not eating, or eating before or after the events, it would be one thing, but it's the pressure others put on you to eat things you know you're going to regret.Food is such an important part of the holidays and so bound up in memories and emotions, so it's no wonder that people feel deeply threatened on some level when they feel like their food is rejected or changed. True Funny Grandma Story (I got a million of 'em): The first year my grandmothers spent Thanksgiving together at my parents house (I must have been about 12), my mom asked her MIL to make the dressing. This dressing was different than the dressing my mom's family made. So my other grandmother hissed to my mother: "That's not our dressing!" and itimated that her Thanksgiving was completely ruined and pouted for most of the day.
I'm fortunate that I have a relatively small family, and that my husband does most of the cooking for the two of us at home, and for our families when we're together. He enjoys it and he's good at it, so we all let him do it.
So he understands what I need, and if he's doing the cooking I'm usually okay. It can get difficult when others jump in and start switching spoons around or doing harmless (from their point of view) things like stirring food I'm going to eat with wooden spoons that have bits of gluten clinging to them. The toughest part is getting people to understand that a little bit can do a world of damage. And that gluten is in things other than wheat. I have hopes that eventually this will get easier as people learn more.I think one of the issues we have is that, given the distance we have to drive, we usually get big doses of our families at once. On the positive side, we always appreciate each other much more after we've been home for a week or so!
Love,
Courtney
Hypothyroid 05/05
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
Dear Courtney,
You asked about food and holidays. I was talking to my Sis the other night and she was complaining because her son's in-laws don't have the kind of food for X-mas eve and X-mas that she considers tradition. It had to be those foods or it wasn't the holidays. I tried to tell her if she was visiting them with her son and family then she just needed to buck up and accept their traditions. Well, we're not on the best of terms now because it had to be her tradition or none.
I'm glad to hear that your DH is standing up for you. I haven't had to fight that issue as my family is probably more like yours (overly concerned). I do understand about other folks not realizing how just a crumb could make you sick. My physical therapist is celiac and we had that discussion the last time I was in. There is no way you can make someone understand who doesn't want to.
I can't tell you how to stand up to these folks on your own or to let go of any negative feelings you have for them (or them for you). I used to be a pleaser also. I just found it was dragging my health down. I have a set of "worry dolls" and ask them to take those types of problems. It helped in the worst of times.
Good luck at finding some kind of peace during this wonderous of holiday seasons.
Jan
You asked about food and holidays. I was talking to my Sis the other night and she was complaining because her son's in-laws don't have the kind of food for X-mas eve and X-mas that she considers tradition. It had to be those foods or it wasn't the holidays. I tried to tell her if she was visiting them with her son and family then she just needed to buck up and accept their traditions. Well, we're not on the best of terms now because it had to be her tradition or none.
I'm glad to hear that your DH is standing up for you. I haven't had to fight that issue as my family is probably more like yours (overly concerned). I do understand about other folks not realizing how just a crumb could make you sick. My physical therapist is celiac and we had that discussion the last time I was in. There is no way you can make someone understand who doesn't want to.
I can't tell you how to stand up to these folks on your own or to let go of any negative feelings you have for them (or them for you). I used to be a pleaser also. I just found it was dragging my health down. I have a set of "worry dolls" and ask them to take those types of problems. It helped in the worst of times.
Good luck at finding some kind of peace during this wonderous of holiday seasons.
Jan
While you are proclaiming peace with your lips, be careful to have it even more fully in your heart. - Saint Francis of Assisi
Oh!!!! What fun if we all could join together for our very own Christmas!!!
I'd even feed everybody!!!
DH & I went to a get together Friday night with a few camping couples that we are good friends with.
I was the only one that couldn't eat what everybody else could.
So, Friday afternoon I made 4 little loves of pumpkin, chocolate chip bread.
Then I made bacon wrapped chicken breasts chunks, dredged in a mixture of brown sugar, and a little of each of chili powder & cayenne pepper. Little smokies wrapped in chebe bread, and a small veggie/hummus tray. I made my own plate up before I even left our home and let the others go at it and I didn't have to worry about cc.
It was hard looking at the different cheeses, cheese balls, dips, crackers, cookies, etc., and thank goodness that I do most Holidays here! When people come here they eat what I eat and can't tell any difference.
Love
Dee~~~~
I'd even feed everybody!!!
DH & I went to a get together Friday night with a few camping couples that we are good friends with.
I was the only one that couldn't eat what everybody else could.
So, Friday afternoon I made 4 little loves of pumpkin, chocolate chip bread.
Then I made bacon wrapped chicken breasts chunks, dredged in a mixture of brown sugar, and a little of each of chili powder & cayenne pepper. Little smokies wrapped in chebe bread, and a small veggie/hummus tray. I made my own plate up before I even left our home and let the others go at it and I didn't have to worry about cc.
It was hard looking at the different cheeses, cheese balls, dips, crackers, cookies, etc., and thank goodness that I do most Holidays here! When people come here they eat what I eat and can't tell any difference.
Love
Dee~~~~
"What the heart gives away is never gone ... It is kept in the hearts of others."
Courtney,
My grandmothers are both long gone, and I miss them a lot, but I had to laugh out loud when I read your Funny Grandma Story, because my grandmothers were the same way - when it came to holiday meal planning, their way was the right way, and they weren't bashful about pointing that out, usually in loud whispers, to make sure that they got their point across. LOL. Outside of a few little peccadillos of that sort, they got along just fine, the rest of the time.
The habit that a lot of people have of stirring something that someone else is cooking, is a pet peeve of mine. That bugged me long before I had a need to change my diet. They want to help, of course, but don't know how. Do they really think that a little stirring is actually a worthwhile contribution to the process? There are times when it can be very detrimental. When that happens while I'm cooking, I always feel obligated to point out that when I'm cooking, I'm quite capable of doing my own stirring, and if they just can't keep from stirring, then they should be doing the cooking, and then they can stir to their heart's content, and I offer my personal guarantee that I won't interfere with their cooking by doing any impulsive stirring. If that doesn't work, I use much stronger language, the next time it happens. If they want to help, they can wash the dishes. LOL.
It may seem rude, but if there's anything with gluten available at the table, you'd better "fix", (as they say here in the South), your plate first, (or at least ASAP), because someone will surely use the wrong spoon, or dribble cracker or bread crumbs into places where they shouldn't be, before all is said and done. I'm beginning to think that Jan is right, and that it may be almost impossible to convince some people that it doesn't take a bucketful of gluten to make us sick. Virtually everyone seems to think that we should be OK, as long as we don't eat "too much" of it, (which is correct, of course - the problem is that "too much" is a mighty tiny amount. They simply can't comprehend the miniscule amounts that we have to be concerned about. I've actually started referring to it as an allergy, (incorrectly, of course), rather than an intolerance, or a sensitivity, when I'm dealing with the general public, because if I tell them that I'm gluten-sensitive, I just get a blank stare in return. If I tell them that I'm allergic to wheat flour, then their eyes light up, and I can almost see the light bulb come on, because they've heard of how serious peanut allergies, etc., can be. I hate doing that, (because it makes me feel like a nitwit), but it saves soooooooo much time, when I'm eating out.
Love,
Tex
My grandmothers are both long gone, and I miss them a lot, but I had to laugh out loud when I read your Funny Grandma Story, because my grandmothers were the same way - when it came to holiday meal planning, their way was the right way, and they weren't bashful about pointing that out, usually in loud whispers, to make sure that they got their point across. LOL. Outside of a few little peccadillos of that sort, they got along just fine, the rest of the time.
The habit that a lot of people have of stirring something that someone else is cooking, is a pet peeve of mine. That bugged me long before I had a need to change my diet. They want to help, of course, but don't know how. Do they really think that a little stirring is actually a worthwhile contribution to the process? There are times when it can be very detrimental. When that happens while I'm cooking, I always feel obligated to point out that when I'm cooking, I'm quite capable of doing my own stirring, and if they just can't keep from stirring, then they should be doing the cooking, and then they can stir to their heart's content, and I offer my personal guarantee that I won't interfere with their cooking by doing any impulsive stirring. If that doesn't work, I use much stronger language, the next time it happens. If they want to help, they can wash the dishes. LOL.
It may seem rude, but if there's anything with gluten available at the table, you'd better "fix", (as they say here in the South), your plate first, (or at least ASAP), because someone will surely use the wrong spoon, or dribble cracker or bread crumbs into places where they shouldn't be, before all is said and done. I'm beginning to think that Jan is right, and that it may be almost impossible to convince some people that it doesn't take a bucketful of gluten to make us sick. Virtually everyone seems to think that we should be OK, as long as we don't eat "too much" of it, (which is correct, of course - the problem is that "too much" is a mighty tiny amount. They simply can't comprehend the miniscule amounts that we have to be concerned about. I've actually started referring to it as an allergy, (incorrectly, of course), rather than an intolerance, or a sensitivity, when I'm dealing with the general public, because if I tell them that I'm gluten-sensitive, I just get a blank stare in return. If I tell them that I'm allergic to wheat flour, then their eyes light up, and I can almost see the light bulb come on, because they've heard of how serious peanut allergies, etc., can be. I hate doing that, (because it makes me feel like a nitwit), but it saves soooooooo much time, when I'm eating out.
Love,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Dee,
It's a crying shame that Christmas comes during the time of the year when traveling conditions are often so treacherous, because I, for one, would travel a long way to partake of your gourmet cooking, and the camaraderie and bonding that would surely prevail at such a gathering. Maybe some day, before we become so ancient that we're all senile, and non-ambulatory, we can organize some sort of get-together, at a central location, at a time that might be favorable for most members to attend, if they choose to do so.
Love,
Tex
It's a crying shame that Christmas comes during the time of the year when traveling conditions are often so treacherous, because I, for one, would travel a long way to partake of your gourmet cooking, and the camaraderie and bonding that would surely prevail at such a gathering. Maybe some day, before we become so ancient that we're all senile, and non-ambulatory, we can organize some sort of get-together, at a central location, at a time that might be favorable for most members to attend, if they choose to do so.
Love,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
Tex and all,
I've used the allergy line when eating out as well, although I pretty much limit my eating out to places that have GF menus, and I limit my eating out to when I'm out of town. It's so great when the wait-staff is well-trained. I was in Nashville a few weeks ago, and went to P.F. Chang's, a Chinese chain restaurant, and the waiter actually came back after he'd taken our check to remind me that the fortune cookies weren't GF.
I will be very careful with eating at home. Our three sets of parents only live about an hour apart, so I usually stay with my family so I can spend time with them, and my husband and our dog stay with his dad, where the dog is welcome. (She's not welcome with my MIL, and my parents have 2 dogs and 2 cats. As a rescue dog, Hildy is fine with people but has serious dog aggression. Which is asking for trouble, on her part, because she's blind in one eye and missing most of her teeth. I think she knows she's at a disadvantage so she tries to get in the first shot. Hildy and I have a lot in common Btw, she's getting a boswellia supplement for dogs for Christmas, so we'll see if that helps her arthritis.) So my family will at least be very careful not to let me get any gluten, even if they are a bit overly concerned. And my husband is in the process of planning meals for the major dinners. One great thing about going down for Christmas a bit late is that the "real" Christmas dinner is over with, so people aren't quite so funny about eating something different. And they're always excited to have Stephen cook for them, so they'll pretty much eat whatever he makes.
One really bright spot in my family is my husband's grandparents. When Grandpa had a heart attack a few years ago, Grandma totally revamped her cooking style. She's developed all these great low-fat, low-cholesterol, etc. recipes that taste amazing, and she's always been more than accepting of my food issues. She's even worked on her own and with Stephen to figure out how she can cook foods that all of us can eat safely, and she's never made me feel like a burden in any way. I think Stephen gets his creativity in the kitchen from her.
Thanks for being here.
Love,
Courtney
I've used the allergy line when eating out as well, although I pretty much limit my eating out to places that have GF menus, and I limit my eating out to when I'm out of town. It's so great when the wait-staff is well-trained. I was in Nashville a few weeks ago, and went to P.F. Chang's, a Chinese chain restaurant, and the waiter actually came back after he'd taken our check to remind me that the fortune cookies weren't GF.
I will be very careful with eating at home. Our three sets of parents only live about an hour apart, so I usually stay with my family so I can spend time with them, and my husband and our dog stay with his dad, where the dog is welcome. (She's not welcome with my MIL, and my parents have 2 dogs and 2 cats. As a rescue dog, Hildy is fine with people but has serious dog aggression. Which is asking for trouble, on her part, because she's blind in one eye and missing most of her teeth. I think she knows she's at a disadvantage so she tries to get in the first shot. Hildy and I have a lot in common
Btw, she's getting a boswellia supplement for dogs for Christmas, so we'll see if that helps her arthritis.) So my family will at least be very careful not to let me get any gluten, even if they are a bit overly concerned. And my husband is in the process of planning meals for the major dinners. One great thing about going down for Christmas a bit late is that the "real" Christmas dinner is over with, so people aren't quite so funny about eating something different. And they're always excited to have Stephen cook for them, so they'll pretty much eat whatever he makes. One really bright spot in my family is my husband's grandparents. When Grandpa had a heart attack a few years ago, Grandma totally revamped her cooking style. She's developed all these great low-fat, low-cholesterol, etc. recipes that taste amazing, and she's always been more than accepting of my food issues. She's even worked on her own and with Stephen to figure out how she can cook foods that all of us can eat safely, and she's never made me feel like a burden in any way. I think Stephen gets his creativity in the kitchen from her.
Thanks for being here.
Love,
Courtney
Hypothyroid 05/05
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
LC/CC 07/08
Celiac 07/08
Hahahahaha. I like Hildy's style. The boswellia treatment sounds very interesting. I'll be very interested to learn how that goes.Courtney wrote:I think she knows she's at a disadvantage so she tries to get in the first shot. Hildy and I have a lot in common
From what I can gather, P. F. Chang's is probably the best GF restaurant chain in the country. Some of the others do pretty well in some locations, but in other locations, some of the staff seem to be clueless when they hear the word "gluten". LOL.
It sounds as though you have at least one "grandma" who's truly a gem. Kudos for her.
Love,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.