Honestly, if there were one thing I could change about the whole experience (other than my mom being sick in the first place, of course) it would be the fact that she also felt guilty and blamed herself all the time. I would have changed that even when I was a kid--that was the most upsetting part for me. Nobody in her right mind would choose to be sick. You didn't choose this, and I'm sure your whole family knows you would be better in a second if you could. So don't blame yourself (I know you wouldn't blame anyone else
) and try not to feel guilty, as much as you're able to. I know it's hard, because so often we feel like we're keeping our loved ones from experiences they want to have (like going out to eat or on vacation) and we can't have experiences we want to have. But it's not your fault. You clearly care so much about your kids and would do anything for them. That in itself is something many children don't have. You do so many things well. Your children know this, although they might not yet have had the life experiences to know just how lucky they are.Hang in there.
Love,
Courtney
