Hello everyone,
I have noticed over the last few weeks that I am getting very cranky. As you know the onset of my disease was about 5 weeks ago. I am so tired that I cannot even listen to people talk to me, it wears me out too much. Everything and everyone seems to be getting on my nerves big time, is this normal and will it go away?
thanks,
Annie
MC and managing emotions
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
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belgiangirl
- Little Blue Penguin
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:53 pm
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Gabes-Apg
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 8332
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:12 pm
- Location: Hunter Valley NSW Australia
You are going through a bit adjustment, your body has been under stress, i can imagine your mind is a bit overwhelmed by what you have learnt about MC in the past couple of weeks.
IMO - and this is how i get sometimes, if i am not 100% settled about something i will be defensive and cut off until i have figured it out and I am in control of it.
when i first was at work and was eating my 'mushed up baby food' i would hide away. as I got more in control of the demon i am now ok with it all and will rock up to meetings/work lunches with my food and dont feel embarressed about what i am eating. I have even had a working lunch with our Customer and taken my own food.
it took me a couple of months to find my feet
IMO - and this is how i get sometimes, if i am not 100% settled about something i will be defensive and cut off until i have figured it out and I am in control of it.
when i first was at work and was eating my 'mushed up baby food' i would hide away. as I got more in control of the demon i am now ok with it all and will rock up to meetings/work lunches with my food and dont feel embarressed about what i am eating. I have even had a working lunch with our Customer and taken my own food.
it took me a couple of months to find my feet
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
Hello Annie, I recognize a different mindset since the moment my MC became active (about a year ago). I wasn't more cranky than usual or different in an emotional way. It was a kind of feeling, I could handle less than normal (where normal is before the MC started). Physically most of the time I was (relatively) fine, I could go out for a walk, go for swim. The 'handle less' was more mentally. Coming home after a meeting a friend, a party or another social gathering I could go straight to the toilet to empty my bowel. Also meeting with more than two - three people was already to much.
Also in my phase of recovery I experienced the same. I started working again in January (just some freelance work), as long as I could control my working speed, working hours and oversee al the things I had to do, it went fine. But as soon as the phone was ringing, while I was writing an email and I also had to finish three other things that day my head could get again so confused/dizzy/tired
Also until recently going go to parties, out for dinner, meeting with a group of friends was easily to much, I got home most of time exhausted. Totally empty. After one night sleep it was okay again. I just wished I had listened better to my body and said more often no or just went for an hour. But you know, as soon as you look like normal, act normal, there is that social pressure. Although lately I have cancelled things at the last moment.
the funny part is, as soon as, I gave up measuring up of what (I think) other people would expect from me and do more what I want to do, things changed. I gave up the idea that I really had to cook (real in the scene from recipes with herbs and spices, my gut is not ready for that yet) and I socialize if I want to (feel like it). Well the last one is a combination, the social part of life is not only about me of course.
Part of the whole story and recovery is MC related and diet. Another part is also general life changes. Although I do believe, in other way that, that is MC related too. Getting a chronicle disease had a great influence on me in general. Kind of wake up call. Just before and during the MC started I was involved in a complicated relationship (what officially wasn't even a relationship) with my next door neighbor. It was not a healthy relationship for several reasons in which a lost myself totally. I don't blame him for it, I was a choice I made. I did it to myself. In October I quitted and it took me another six moths to finally feel totally free form him again (advice: never ever get involved with a next door neighbor, even after breaking up he was still so too much too close)
Also 8 years before the MC started I had really rough hard years. I worked very hard. On one hand I was doing very well (my work results were always great), on the other hand I was doing terrible, not happy in my work environment, I didn't fit it very well and so often on short term of longer term sick leave. Real serious sleeping problems, bowel and stomach problems, overworked, stressed out, that kind of stuff. I left that company with a fair deal 2 years ago. That was the start of a whole new life chancing process. Last your I thought I was ready to make some big steps in my life, but my body thought different with the onset of the MC.
I hope this year will be different. I want to leave the Netherlands (and if there were any doubts left, with the last election results I know it now for sure). I want to live in the middle east, in Jordan. Keep asking myself why do I always want to those strange difficult complicated things. I have been in the middle east twice the last couple of years (Syria and Jordan). For one or the other strange reason I feel more "at home" "more me" there than where I am now. It is more an irrational knowing that something I can explain. To find out, if this something what I really want and if I can survive there I am planning on going there for a long holiday visit. I want to stay there for a couple of months on a tourist visa and see how things goes. At the moment I am not any further than just wanting and thinking about it. But I soon I hope I will finally get into action and start organizing it (also surviving there with my MC diet)
so long story all about the mindset of MC. My MC has been, is and will be a life changer in almost every aspect of my life. So in a certain way almost a gift.
harma
Also in my phase of recovery I experienced the same. I started working again in January (just some freelance work), as long as I could control my working speed, working hours and oversee al the things I had to do, it went fine. But as soon as the phone was ringing, while I was writing an email and I also had to finish three other things that day my head could get again so confused/dizzy/tired
Also until recently going go to parties, out for dinner, meeting with a group of friends was easily to much, I got home most of time exhausted. Totally empty. After one night sleep it was okay again. I just wished I had listened better to my body and said more often no or just went for an hour. But you know, as soon as you look like normal, act normal, there is that social pressure. Although lately I have cancelled things at the last moment.
the funny part is, as soon as, I gave up measuring up of what (I think) other people would expect from me and do more what I want to do, things changed. I gave up the idea that I really had to cook (real in the scene from recipes with herbs and spices, my gut is not ready for that yet) and I socialize if I want to (feel like it). Well the last one is a combination, the social part of life is not only about me of course.
Part of the whole story and recovery is MC related and diet. Another part is also general life changes. Although I do believe, in other way that, that is MC related too. Getting a chronicle disease had a great influence on me in general. Kind of wake up call. Just before and during the MC started I was involved in a complicated relationship (what officially wasn't even a relationship) with my next door neighbor. It was not a healthy relationship for several reasons in which a lost myself totally. I don't blame him for it, I was a choice I made. I did it to myself. In October I quitted and it took me another six moths to finally feel totally free form him again (advice: never ever get involved with a next door neighbor, even after breaking up he was still so too much too close)
Also 8 years before the MC started I had really rough hard years. I worked very hard. On one hand I was doing very well (my work results were always great), on the other hand I was doing terrible, not happy in my work environment, I didn't fit it very well and so often on short term of longer term sick leave. Real serious sleeping problems, bowel and stomach problems, overworked, stressed out, that kind of stuff. I left that company with a fair deal 2 years ago. That was the start of a whole new life chancing process. Last your I thought I was ready to make some big steps in my life, but my body thought different with the onset of the MC.
I hope this year will be different. I want to leave the Netherlands (and if there were any doubts left, with the last election results I know it now for sure). I want to live in the middle east, in Jordan. Keep asking myself why do I always want to those strange difficult complicated things. I have been in the middle east twice the last couple of years (Syria and Jordan). For one or the other strange reason I feel more "at home" "more me" there than where I am now. It is more an irrational knowing that something I can explain. To find out, if this something what I really want and if I can survive there I am planning on going there for a long holiday visit. I want to stay there for a couple of months on a tourist visa and see how things goes. At the moment I am not any further than just wanting and thinking about it. But I soon I hope I will finally get into action and start organizing it (also surviving there with my MC diet)
so long story all about the mindset of MC. My MC has been, is and will be a life changer in almost every aspect of my life. So in a certain way almost a gift.
harma
Annie,
Here is my view of the situation:
This disease has such a profound effect on our lives, that we actually go through the seven stages of grief, (originally proposed by Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, for terminally-ill patients, as five stages of grief).
http://changingminds.org/disciplines/ch ... r_ross.htm
Each of us goes through each of these stages, one way or another, whether we realize it or not. We have discussed this a few times in the past, for example:
http://www.perskyfarms.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7902
I went through all those stages, and when I finally realized that I had a "rare" disease, that the medical profession did not know how to treat, after a few years, I eventually resigned myself to having to spend the rest of my life in misery. I didn't like it, but I was "okay" with it, because I accepted it as my fate.
Then one day I had an epiphany, when I discovered that diet changes might allow me to get my life back, and eventually, it did. When that happened, it was like being born again, and I saw almost everything in a different light. Everything, even the simplest things, mean so much more to me, after going through all those stages, and then getting my life back, after all.
This disease does something drastic to our emotions. Before my symptoms started, I was so macho, that I virtually never cried - it was just never a part of my behavior pattern. Once the disease took over, I found my emotions drastically changed - tears would well up in my eyes, from the slightest suggestion of sadness, (or happiness). To this day, I can't read a post from a member here, describing how great they feel, after resolving all their miserable symptoms, without shedding a few tears.
MC changes many, many things in our lives, but most of all, in the long run, it changes our attitude, and how we interpret life, and it most definitely changes our empathy for others, who are dealing with the same issues. Believe it or not, as best I can tell, MC changed my life for the better, though you probably won't be able to understand that statement, until after you achieve remission.
Tex
Here is my view of the situation:
This disease has such a profound effect on our lives, that we actually go through the seven stages of grief, (originally proposed by Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, for terminally-ill patients, as five stages of grief).
http://changingminds.org/disciplines/ch ... r_ross.htm
Each of us goes through each of these stages, one way or another, whether we realize it or not. We have discussed this a few times in the past, for example:
http://www.perskyfarms.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7902
I went through all those stages, and when I finally realized that I had a "rare" disease, that the medical profession did not know how to treat, after a few years, I eventually resigned myself to having to spend the rest of my life in misery. I didn't like it, but I was "okay" with it, because I accepted it as my fate.
Then one day I had an epiphany, when I discovered that diet changes might allow me to get my life back, and eventually, it did. When that happened, it was like being born again, and I saw almost everything in a different light. Everything, even the simplest things, mean so much more to me, after going through all those stages, and then getting my life back, after all.
This disease does something drastic to our emotions. Before my symptoms started, I was so macho, that I virtually never cried - it was just never a part of my behavior pattern. Once the disease took over, I found my emotions drastically changed - tears would well up in my eyes, from the slightest suggestion of sadness, (or happiness). To this day, I can't read a post from a member here, describing how great they feel, after resolving all their miserable symptoms, without shedding a few tears.
MC changes many, many things in our lives, but most of all, in the long run, it changes our attitude, and how we interpret life, and it most definitely changes our empathy for others, who are dealing with the same issues. Believe it or not, as best I can tell, MC changed my life for the better, though you probably won't be able to understand that statement, until after you achieve remission.Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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belgiangirl
- Little Blue Penguin
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:53 pm
thank you
Thank you Harma and Tex for your support. Indeed it does not feel like that for me today, hopefully i will get there one day. I am very sick today, with a lot of D and abdominal pain. I had some tofu burgers yesterday and did not realize there was soy in them. I also had wholemeat pasta and that was probably too much fibres for me. I dare not eat anything today because I am in so much pain. Emotionally I feel a wreck, I feel like crying all the time. Since I live on my own it is pretty hard, especially during the night when the pain keeps me from sleeping.
love,
annie
love,
annie
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Joefnh
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:25 pm
- Location: Southern New Hampshire
Annie I think Tex and Harma have described the emotional issues with MC quite eloquently. You may want to avoid the tofu and pasta dishes unless they have no gluten (wheat) in them . Most pasta is made from wheat and most of us have a problem with that. I also have found that carefully managing the diet part of this can be difficult at times, but absolutely key in feeling better.
I hope that you feel better soon
--Joe
I hope that you feel better soon
--Joe
Annie,
On those days when you don't feel like eating, a little home-made chicken soup, (or broth), can help to make you feel better, and provide some energy to help you get through the day. I used to always keep some in the freezer, ready to warm up, whenever I needed it.
Even though you have diarrhea, and feel miserable, it's always best to keep a little food in your digestive system, so that it continues to function. Otherwise, if you eat nothing, for a day or so, then when you resume eating, the food may provide a "shock" for the digestive system, since your digestive system will have to begin making digestive enzymes, etc., again, in order to re-start the digestive process. Sometimes shutting down the digestive process and re-starting it is good, and sometimes it is not.
Sorry you're having such a bad day.
Tex
On those days when you don't feel like eating, a little home-made chicken soup, (or broth), can help to make you feel better, and provide some energy to help you get through the day. I used to always keep some in the freezer, ready to warm up, whenever I needed it.
Even though you have diarrhea, and feel miserable, it's always best to keep a little food in your digestive system, so that it continues to function. Otherwise, if you eat nothing, for a day or so, then when you resume eating, the food may provide a "shock" for the digestive system, since your digestive system will have to begin making digestive enzymes, etc., again, in order to re-start the digestive process. Sometimes shutting down the digestive process and re-starting it is good, and sometimes it is not.
Sorry you're having such a bad day.
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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belgiangirl
- Little Blue Penguin
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:53 pm
wholemeat products
Thanks for your support, most welcome on this miserable day.
question: can we eat wholemeat products or does that contain too much fiber? what about humus?
thanks,
Annie
question: can we eat wholemeat products or does that contain too much fiber? what about humus?
thanks,
Annie
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Joefnh
- Rockhopper Penguin
- Posts: 2478
- Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2010 8:25 pm
- Location: Southern New Hampshire
Annie, I have found that eating "simpler" food that are gluten and yeast free seem to be the best.
What I mean by simple are whole meats, and foods that are not processed. I buy fresh chicken, lamb and fish. I use these as the main ingredients for my meals. I usually will cook some carrots or other tolerated vegetables (be careful of raw veggies). The meats and veggies I serve with white rice. Overall at least for me, this has worked incredibly well. I initially tried a more varied diet and had significant issues even though the meals were gluten free. Like you Annie I am fairly recently diagnosed and just getting used to changing my lifestyle.
I guess overall I would encourage a gluten (wheat) free diet sticking with simpler foods for a while until you have ad a chance to heal. For me the hardest part was going without the breads, pastas and pastries; overall a small price to pay for my health
Take care Annie and hang in there it does get easier with time
--Joe
What I mean by simple are whole meats, and foods that are not processed. I buy fresh chicken, lamb and fish. I use these as the main ingredients for my meals. I usually will cook some carrots or other tolerated vegetables (be careful of raw veggies). The meats and veggies I serve with white rice. Overall at least for me, this has worked incredibly well. I initially tried a more varied diet and had significant issues even though the meals were gluten free. Like you Annie I am fairly recently diagnosed and just getting used to changing my lifestyle.
I guess overall I would encourage a gluten (wheat) free diet sticking with simpler foods for a while until you have ad a chance to heal. For me the hardest part was going without the breads, pastas and pastries; overall a small price to pay for my health
Take care Annie and hang in there it does get easier with time
--Joe
Joe
Annie, if I were you I would avoid hummus as it is made from chickpeas or garbanzo beans which are a member of the legume family. I love hummus, but I haven't eaten any since I altered my diet to cope with mc. I have avoided all legumes because my enterolab test showed I have a sensitivity to soybeans. It is something I may try later and see how it goes, but not while I'm still in the healing process. Like others have said, keep things simple until you get better with rice, well cooked vegetables, and unprocessed meats. After a while you can try different foods and see how they affect you. Good luck, JoAnn
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway. John Wayne
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belgiangirl
- Little Blue Penguin
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:53 pm
thanks for the advice
thank you all for your precious advice. I will indeed keep it simple and stick to basic foods. I had a very bad weekend, yesterday in particular with a lot of bm and a lot of D and abdominal pain. It is the pain that frightens me, sometimes it is unbearable. I did not eat at all yesterday, I was too afraid of how it might affect me. Today I am still in a lot of pain but I have no D.
love,
Annie
love,
Annie
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Gabes-Apg
- Emperor Penguin
- Posts: 8332
- Joined: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:12 pm
- Location: Hunter Valley NSW Australia
annie,
i was about to write you a note saying i hope you are feeling better.
not sure how far back in the posts you have read, quite a few of us get D if we are stressed, something to do with the adrenalin i suspect. i know there is lots going on but try not to stress, do some relaxing breathing, soft yoga streches, love your body and tell it that you will do everything you can to help it get better.
small meals of really easy to digest food (baby portion size even) it is important to look forward to the meal and be relaxed and unstressed when eating.
i have had bad cramping stabbing pains on and off for the past 15 years. to the extent that on occaisons i have had to sit down in a supermarket isle cause i couldnt walk or stand up. or if in my car pull over and do relaxing breathing till it goes.
since adopting the GF/YF/LF/SF diet that works for my MC, the occurances of this has reduced greatly. now i just get mild cramping when i am a bit tired or have been sitting at the work desk too long.
when i had these pains, i now know why babies cry when they have colic, it hurts!!!
I am not sure if you are taking any meds, but not eating anything is not always best, your body continues to produce bile, which breaks down food, with no food this acid liquid can be harsh on your digestion system, if you can brave a small meal you may feel better and the pain should go away.
hang in there... take it a day at a time.
i was about to write you a note saying i hope you are feeling better.
not sure how far back in the posts you have read, quite a few of us get D if we are stressed, something to do with the adrenalin i suspect. i know there is lots going on but try not to stress, do some relaxing breathing, soft yoga streches, love your body and tell it that you will do everything you can to help it get better.
small meals of really easy to digest food (baby portion size even) it is important to look forward to the meal and be relaxed and unstressed when eating.
i have had bad cramping stabbing pains on and off for the past 15 years. to the extent that on occaisons i have had to sit down in a supermarket isle cause i couldnt walk or stand up. or if in my car pull over and do relaxing breathing till it goes.
since adopting the GF/YF/LF/SF diet that works for my MC, the occurances of this has reduced greatly. now i just get mild cramping when i am a bit tired or have been sitting at the work desk too long.
when i had these pains, i now know why babies cry when they have colic, it hurts!!!
I am not sure if you are taking any meds, but not eating anything is not always best, your body continues to produce bile, which breaks down food, with no food this acid liquid can be harsh on your digestion system, if you can brave a small meal you may feel better and the pain should go away.
hang in there... take it a day at a time.
Gabes Ryan
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
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belgiangirl
- Little Blue Penguin
- Posts: 26
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2010 3:53 pm
thanks
Gabes, thank you for your mail.
Today I only had some glutenfree soup and glutenfree bread and I feel ok, don't have too much pain. I know I have to continue eating, but is frightening at the same time. I write down what I eat and how I react to it. I try to avoid stress as much as possible, I already noticed that that causes D. Fortunately I am on sick leave so I don't have to worry about work.
I am so glad I am not the only one going through this cause at times it is pretty scary.
Love,
annie
Today I only had some glutenfree soup and glutenfree bread and I feel ok, don't have too much pain. I know I have to continue eating, but is frightening at the same time. I write down what I eat and how I react to it. I try to avoid stress as much as possible, I already noticed that that causes D. Fortunately I am on sick leave so I don't have to worry about work.
I am so glad I am not the only one going through this cause at times it is pretty scary.
Love,
annie