Changing Careers due to MC?

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hoosier1
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Post by hoosier1 »

Joe,

Some of my associates seem to want to help me, but most do not. They seem to be, quite frank, very self-centered. And since I try so hard to hide my symptoms, perhaps that makes it even harder for them to understand. The astute associates can quickly tell when I am feeling poorly though. But I think most of them think I merely have a flu that will go away with medication.

Plus, I am their manager, so I feel like I have to show some level of invincibility and control. If they can't rely on me, then who can they rely on. Tough.

Rich
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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Gabes-Apg
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Post by Gabes-Apg »

Rich

IMO - based on all the discussions on this board, and for me the last 10 months, being super diligent about diet, ingredients, managing fatigue will control the MC for 80 -90% of the time. There is the 10 -20% that we do not get to control, and when it happens we have to flex with the breeze, we cant fight it.

I hear you about invincablity and control- it was my forte 4 years ago. The main KPI for my bonus was 'gap fill' as Gabes was the one that would see issues and fix them and deal with all the issues that were not with other managers.

the reality is, things have changed, and you have changed. using principles of transition/change management you have to embrace and accept the change (own it), and also help those around you accept it.
(grieve what you have lost, adjust what needs to be changed, and embrace the new enhanced qualities that you hadnt seen before)

i have accepted that physically and even mentally, i am not able to do what i was doing 4 years ago.
via MC management techniques, i have learnt of the power of the qualities of patience, tenacity, acceptance of things out of my control, and ability to flex the plan to suit what is happening, this is now helping me at work.

it is important for them to realise that it is not like a flu. This is 'for life' and how you manage the symptoms and what is going on now is very important for your long term health and well being.

I am 40 years of age, I have to be able to work and support myself for the next 15 years and build on my superannuation to support myself after that. I am Divorced, and dont have family near by, so there is no support structure for when i am ill.
My main aim at the moment is to minimise MC symptoms, and allow the gut to heal and be like polly that within 5 years the MC is in remission
the decisions you make about work and your career have to not only suit the now but also have perspective for the long term.


i was quite comfortable to declare the brain fog symptom, for important meetings i take one of the admin staff into the meeting to help me with minutes and note taking. and at least twice this has 'saved me'
Gabes Ryan

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adelie
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Post by adelie »

Rich,

I find it helpful when explaining the life changes required to use the analogies of either someone with severe (anaphylactic) allergies or someone who is diabetic. People understand those problems a little better and after all, if out of control, MC can land you in the hospital just the same. Although restaurants are becoming more aware of conditions like celiac, I will still tell the wait staff at a restaurant that I am allergic. Then tend to wake up and pay a bit more attention to what they're doing if someone says they're allergic.

Karen
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Post by Ginny »

Rich, lots of good ideas and I also comprehend that "invincible you" when you are a manager; had the same problem. When my MC started about two years ago, a new boss arrived on the scene. Like most of us, we work hard and put in a lot of time to be successful, but I was now home on STD with this disease and dealing with my new boss by email; not a good scenario.

In your quest to explain this disease, IMO, I think that depends upon who your boss is; are they without family, workaholic, thinks no one should miss work due to illness or are they caring, have family, understand illness? I was fortunate, my new boss had two children with MS, so he was more than sympathetic and backed me 100%. I did explain my disease and its limitations but I did not go into any further specifics. He allowed me to work from home, leave work early when ill and encouraged me even though my performance was not up to 100% IMO. I feel very fortunate and have expressed my appreciation. I also made my staff aware of my illness and its limitations. However, if you have one that is more like the first scenario, that will be tricky but they need to know. Its not a disease you can really hide and I think you will be more at peace once everyone knows your limitations. This will prevent expectations that cannot be met or you are not prepared to do at that time. Remember everyone is carrying some kind of a burden and generally speaking they will be kind and supportive.

In the end it is what you are comfortable with saying to the person that holds your future in his or her hands.

Peace my friend, Ginny
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change those things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference
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Post by Joefnh »

Rich the write ups in this thread are an excellent perspective on a few of the situations faced here among the group.

I had until recently managed 15 engineers and a handful of technicians and specialist. As mentioned earlier in this thread I have backed off on my duties to managing 7 engineers. I was able to do this while working with my managers who understood the problems that I am facing. This occurred with good communication early on about my condition.

My management style has changed over the years, and I have found that by allowing the illusion of invincibility to disappear around me has helped my relationship with those I manage. I have moved from a hierarchic managerial mindset, to a co-operative management mindset, and make the employees part of the active decision and problem solving process. With this style I have also included them somewhat into my life; they are aware of my situation and as I am more keenly aware of their issues. Overall this has worked well for the group I with now and allows for more bi-lateral honesty.

As Gabes puts it 'own it' This is your life now, you did not choose MC but it has chosen you. Your life will be different, and will require adjustments. It has taken a bit for me to accept this, and can say that by working with some very kind individuals on this board I have been able to accept this and to a degree embrace it.

I have noticed that you like many of us are trying to 'attack' this problem, as is the normal reaction to a condition like this. I would say stop attacking and start accepting the changes that are present now in your life, on a daily basis 'Choose Your Attitude'. Rich I do not mean this to come across in an adversarial tone, but i do see a pattern of trying to force the situations to return to your previous lifestyle. As far as keeping your existing career path I feel it is doable, but not without some logistical planning around each trip, again an adjustment.

I am also divorced and have found that friendships are both priceless and precious and one of the main keys in dealing with this disease. Hopefully you and your wife have found a way to communicate effectively about MC as the changes can last quite a while.

I wish you the best Rich and think its great that you have shared your trials on this board. I am sure it has helped many others including myself by reading through them.

Take Care

--Joe
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tex
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Post by tex »

Rich,

One of the biggest problems with explaining this disease to others, is the fact that we don't look very sick. Part of the problem is the fact that our most prominent symptom is hidden behind bathroom walls, (out of sight, out of mind). If accepted human behavior were different, and toilets were placed out in the open, (in the center of the office, for example), it wouldn't take most people long to catch on. :lol: Most serious diseases are obvious to others, and tend to generate responses such as, "My God, what happened to you?" With MC, though, the most likely comment is, "but you don't look sick." We might be dying on the inside, but to others, we just don't look sick. :shrug:

Tex
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It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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Post by Linda in BC »

I did not say anything about my condition at work for many years, just tried to cope and keep anyone from finding out. I didn't know anyone else who had any similar illness and it felt so personal and embarrassing. Finally though, I had to say something because when we went to conferences or meetings out of town, we usually went as a group and, being that we are a non-profit organization, to save money they asked us to share a room. I managed this with great discomfort and trepidation for about three years, several times a year, but when they one day asked if anyone would prefer not to share, I jumped at the chance to have my own room and told them, sketchily why. I had recently found out that my direct supervisor has Crohns and I just said I had as similar digestive condition. They were fine with that and for the past 4 years I have had my own room when we travelled. Wow, what a difference that has made for me!

Since I found out about my gluten and other food intolerances, and have gone on such a restrictive diet though, I have been pretty vocal about that. And the neat thing is, I actually got my first specifically-made-for-me meal at our last conference!

Linda
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hoosier1
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Post by hoosier1 »

Everyone,

This is great advice. Joe, "attacking the problem" is my nature. Gabes, accepting it??? Tough, but I will get there. Linda, yes, I am great at hiding this problem too, but not necessarily from my boss (so maybe not so great), who is a very good man. And Tex, the "dying on the inside" is a great way to describe it. I always say that if someone could jump inside my skin for 30 seconds, they would fully understand. I am going to print out this thread for when I sit down with my boss. And remember, he has GI problems too as well as untested food allergies. I am always on him to get thoroughly evaluate. Two peas in a pod, huh? Not to get psychological, but my father died relatively young, so the closet person I have to a father figure is perhaps Dan, the person to whom I report.

I know you guys don't know me very well (though by now, you probably do), but I have actually chilled out quite a bit over the years (soon to be 45) and even with this disease.

But for the man I work for, and those who report to me, I have an awesome sense of responsibility to be, as anyone in small business can relate, not just the manager, but the head marketing person, the principle bill collector, the number one earner, the one who worries about cash flow, etc. When I worked for larger companies, such jobs were more segmented across a wider population of employees. Not so at my little company. Not complaining, just explaining. I actually prefer it this way because I truly believe it is the little companies like this that are the engines of our economy and the entrepreneurial drive that will get us, hopefully, out of this recession.

And in summary, I propose an MC reunion somewhere where we can all finally try to meet one another in person!!!! Would be very cool to put real faces to names someday.

Have a great weekend my friends.

Rich
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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Gabes-Apg
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Post by Gabes-Apg »

Rich
dont need a reunion for meet ups- fate takes care of it for us

I met Ant in Hong Kong on my transit to France
I met Joe when he was in Australia for his work
and next week I am meeting Lyn (Bifcus) as she is coming to brisbane

that is three people from three different countries in 10 months!


why do you question accepting it? being in denial wont help very much. Accept the challenge of overcoming MC, given the types of things that you have stated in your posts this should appeal to your nature.

check out zizzle's post - i love MC because. . . . . .
Gabes Ryan

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hoosier1
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Post by hoosier1 »

Gabes,

Accepted...

Not thrilled about it, but accepted. I've been dealing with this for probably 5+ years, possibly 10, so, accepted.

Perhaps I will have an opportunity to come to the land down under.

Thanks

Rich
"It's not what I believe. It's what I can prove." - A Few Good Men
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Post by rbks321 »

Joe- I'd love to see your tips that you use (healthy or otherwise) when you need some tricks while working. I'm guessing I have read them somewhere, but was unable to find them through archive search.

Tex- For some reason disability scares me. I realize that it may be necessary, but this is a big time denial for me. I don't want to be labeled "disabled", short term or long term. I want my life back, work, friends, family. I have looked into this and will see where it goes.
I was thinking about your comment regarding how some of us don't look sick, and I can totally relate to how there is more than meets the eye with this disease. Ran into a friend I haven't seen in months and was told how great I look. Fifteen pounds down, but not in a healthy way. I have never been concerned with my weight, don't own a scale, and usually fluctuate 10-20 pounds for years. It is way more about how I feel and how my clothes fit. In other words, I don't care if I could stand to lose ten pounds, as long as I feel strong and healthy. That is most definately not the case these days!

Thanks to all of you for your honest and candid posts. It helps a lot to read them and know that I am not alone.

-Rebecca
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Post by Joefnh »

Hi Rebbecca to answer this I will cover several topics, mostly learned from the others on this site.

Foods:

I make all of my own food for all my meals. I am currently eating a modified Paleo diet that is also a simplified diet. I have about 15 ingredients in my diet right now. Each Sunday I have a large cook-up where I prepare some combination of chicken, lamb & fish (sometimes grass fed beef)

I save the stocks from the chicken and lamb for broths or flavorings. For vegetables I steam either peas, carrots or Lima beans and I also make a large batch of 'sticky rice' which is white rice that has been cooked longer with extra water. Making the rice a bit sticky seems to calm my GI system down.

After the cook-up, I will assemble my lunch and dinner portions and freeze most of them and keep out in the fridge what I need for the next 3 - 4 days. I usually keep about 2 weeks extra foods stocked should I have a time when I cannot cook. I have found that cooking on the weekends makes the most sense in that I do not have the energy to cook at the end of the work day.

As I tolerate bananas quite well those are my main staple for breakfast. I also have hard boiled eggs and some GF/DF/SF bread (Udis)

At work I keep bananas and several good GF/SF/DF snacks in a drawer for those times I need a munchy or have to work late. For drinks I usually bring with me a good GF apple juice (Langers) or iced or hot tea.

Food is the most important part of maintaining our health as it can and does have quite an effect when we have something that we should not.

Meds:

I keep with me at work some of the Ultram if the pains get out of hand. I also keep the 4gram Questran pouches which are great if D is really making a comeback. I will usually take a dose of the Questran before any flights or before any all day meetings.

Fro nausea I keep some shaved pickled ginger root (the ginger served with sushi) in the fridge. If needed I just chew on a piece or 2 and its amazing how fast it works.

While not a 'medication' I have found that acupuncture works very well with the aches and pains in the joints and abdomen and has now been showing a benefit in increased energy.

This is not a 'quick' fix and does take a handful of sessions to begin to see the full benefit. For me I view it as another tool in the toolbox and has found a place alongside the medications and diet.


"Emergency Supplies"

Simply put an extra set of clothes...and yes these have come in handy :oops:

Attitude:

Here I simply remind myself to 'choose my attitude' as its quite easy to talk ourselves into a bad mood, especially when having a bad day.

I have shared with my co-workers, managers and sub-ordinates whats going on with me and am honest with both them and more importantly myself on what I can and cannot handle. There are days that I need to leave early and have come to a point of doing it 'guilt free' I had like many the attitude that I 'needed' to be the last man standing, the tough guy - No more.

Music has been a great help. I have loaded up my Ipod with lots of music and have various playlists that can help with relaxation, attitude or concentration.

Acceptance of MC and in my case also Crohns: I did not choose these diseases, but they have chosen me. I accept that they are present and make the adjustments to my lifestyle (food, activities etc.). There is no benefit in fighting these conditions and that energy is better served in dealing with them in a positive way.


Relationships

Having good close friends is a wonderful and priceless experience. I have come to realize this more now than in the past. having someone you can talk to about MC issues is a great benefit. Certainly this site fits that description.



Overall Rebbecca, be honest with yourself and fully understand where you are at now. Make decisions on whats best for you and your health. If the path you are on now is not viable, admit it and look for ways to either make adjustments to it or change to a path that can work.

MC does affect our lives and will for most of us require lifelong changes, the sooner we are at peace with that the better.

Rebbecca let me know if I have answered your questions

Best Wishes and thanks for the questions


--Joe
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Gabes-Apg
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Post by Gabes-Apg »

Rebecca
to add to Joe's post (great post joe and great cooking ideas!! love it)

I start the day with yoga stretches and relaxation
i then have a breaky of warmed veges and 2 eggs (i find this really important to support energy requirements through the day)

like joe i do cook ups (savoury muffins and the meat and veges/rice) and make sure i have supplies of snacks at work.
having the breaky and a good lunch, i then have a light dinner and this helps me to sleep better.

the time on the weekends doing the cook ups and prep is really worth it. And like Joe, i always make sure i have at least two weeks of staples in the freezer/pantry for times when i am not well.

yes, it takes planning, organisation, sacrifice, diligence, this is a small price to pay to be well at work and enjoy the week.
given the location of my work place, and my limited amount of ingredients i dont have an option to source lunch within 5kms of my work place so if dont take the food with me, i dont get to eat.
last night i got stuck at work late on a telecon, thank goodness for my stash of snacks and apple juice. by the time i got home i basically went straight to bed,

I also plan my day to have lunch about 11.30am- midday before others, i find if i eat lunch and i am not hungry i dont care about the smells and look of others peoples food. if i am hungry smelling other peoples food makes me a bit unsettled.......

hope this helps.....
Gabes Ryan

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Post by TooManyHats »

I must be the only nut here looking for a job. I've already thought about bringing all my own lunches, snacks and coffee creamer. I guess I planned on saying that I had food allergies. I really have to find a job. Even though I work from home right now, it's not enough and I need more hours. All the interviews I've been on have been for positions that are outside the house. I suppose if it's meant to be, then it will be. I already know Who's Hands it is in.
Arlene

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Gabes-Apg
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Post by Gabes-Apg »

Arlene

if you have your MC management plan figured out (meds / foods etc), know what your triggers are and what your reactions are. Working is not that hard as long as you are organised, you spend the time on the weekend pre-prearing meals and enjoy your work.

In the past 14 months i gained one promotion and then managed to secure a new role (another slight promotion) with a different employer in a different industry.
part of getting the new role involved an interview over a lunch with the managers. I was a bit nervous about MC and being asked questions about the meal i ordered, there were no questions.

I have also found that even if there are a few questions, the awareness of food intolerences and allergies is quite good, and people have a relative or a friend that is celiac or has issues with dairy.
I dont go into the specifics of chronic symptoms. but it is good to be a bit transparent so people understand some of your limitations if you have them.
when asked about travel, I say yep i can travel for work as long as I have a few days notice, I am not able to travel with less than 48hrs notice.

This week i have passed my pre-employment medical, i was pretty nervous about this, because if i didnt pass the medical they could end my employment. you have to sign stat decs about your previous 5 years worth of medical history and 15 years of any incident reports in the workplace. I psyched myself up to 'own it' and be confident about it and when the doctor did query it (as he had never heard of MC) i told him that in my previous role i had travelled to internstate and internationally for work and had not incurred any major issues regarding travelling for work and the MC

I have managed to get the right balance, the commute is not too long, the role is not too intense, in my new role i am not managing staff (that has reduced the stress ALOT!) and the employer is really good.
Gabes Ryan

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned"
Dalai Lama
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