leaving 16 or 17 March

harma · Post by **harma** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 12:50 pm

In a couple of weeks, to be more exact, within three weeks, I hope to be back in Jordan in Amman. I've found a renter for my house, who will arrive on the 18th of March. I haven't met my renter yet, I found her through a relocation agency I also have been working the last couple of years. It's a young girl, in her twenties, originally from Colombia and now working/living in Switzerland. Of course I haven't met her and actually will not meet her, but if I look at our email contact, she sounds very friendly and above all modest.

This time I will leave for 6 months and hopefully longer, but that will depend on how well I can make a living there. Of course there is a lot going on in the Middle East, but Jordan is still quiet. And also, at least how I see it, it is not all bad what is going there, there also a ray of hope in it.

Next couple of weeks, I will have to empty my house, with all my personal belonging. I keep on wondering, why on earth did I ever buy all those boots (around 15 pairs), other shoes (in total including boots over 40 pairs). Does anyone need more clothes than fit in a suitcase and why on earth do I have 5 winter coats. Why have I kept all those clothes over the years, I haven't been wearing "over the years". Must of the stuff I can leave in, since it is rented out fully furnished.

My parents are so kind, that I can use my old bedroom as a storage room. Also in case things do go wrong and foreigners are advised to leave the country this will be my emergency room. So whatever happens, I won't need to sleep under a bridge. Nothings something to look forward to, when you are over 40. But perfect as a safety net.

One of the miracles that has happened over the last weeks is an huge improvement in the relationship between my mother and me. My mother suffers from a psychiatric disorder (borderliner), which has signed my whole childhood. It took me years to get over it and leave it behind me. From around 2000 till 2006 I didn't even have any contact at all with both my parents. From than on we slowly build it up and now we are almost back to normal (whatever normal can is). I had given up the idea that my mother would ever change, she is her late sixties. But as in a miracle she is saying things lately that I look at her and think "is that my mother talking??". It's really amazing. For sure they don't like it at all me going back to Jordan. But last week we really could talk about it (both my parents and me) and that's quite unique. Our normal attitude, we just act if things are not there, avoid difficult topics (with the idea if we don't talk about it, it's as if it is not there). It's almost like I first had to solve this before I can really leave the Netherlands behind me and start a new live in Jordan.

Martha · Post by **Martha** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:08 pm

Dear Harma,

It nice to have a date set for leaving, isn't it? It makes it all so much more real. Good luck on all your packing and sorting. That is my least favorite part of moving. I told my husband, "In heaven we won't have suitcases." So nice that you can store some things at your parents' house.

I'm also really glad that your relationship with your mom has improved. What a blessing that somehow, at her age, she was able to make some changes in her attitudes and behaviors.

Martha

TooManyHats · Post by **TooManyHats** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:16 pm

God Bless you Harma. I hope things work out for you in your new venture. I know the pain of a mother with mental illness, too. I'm so happy you are able to find peace with it.

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 1:20 pm

Harma what a great inspiration you have been to make a change like this. Best wishes and safe travels for your trip.

Your stories and courage have been helping me make some recent significant decisions about my address as well, thanks for sharing your experiences

--Joe

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:12 pm

Harma

I am not religious, i do have faith in the universe that things happen for a reason, certain people come into your life for a reason (which you are not fully aware of at the time)

with the relationship with your mother being improved, you having the 'plan b' of a bed should you have to come back from Jordon quickly, your precious belongings will be safe, and that you got some one to rent the place is fantatastic, if it were me i would see all of these things as confirmation or reminders that what you are doing is the right thing.

you mention about clothes and shoes, when i did the recent move, I used it as an opportunity to purge excess items. For clothes, If i hadnt worn in the past 12 months it went to the charity bins, after i moved, and i had unpacked and filled the cupboards in the kitchen, i had 4 boxes of kitchen stuff that I havent used the items in the past 2 years, this was donated to the flood appeal victims. there are a few other items that if no one else wants them i am going to through them away.

albeit now that i live in a colder climate i will have to buy a good winter coat!

thinking of you as you do all your moving prep, trust your heart

take care

Mags · Post by **Mags** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:31 pm

Harma--

A woman can never have too many shoes. I am convince that mine mate and produce new ones when I am not looking. I have had some for almost 20 years, and they do come back into style. I donate clothes that I don't wear to the local women's shelter.

Kari · Post by **Kari** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:32 pm

Harma - it sounds like all the pieces of the puzzle are coming together for you, and that this move was meant to be. Following your heart is obviously the right thing for you, regardless of consequences. I would venture to say that it is the right thing for anyone to do, but most people have so many fears and phobias stopping them from listening to that soft, but very wise inner voice. You are a courageous person and a true inspiration.

I look forward to following along on your adventure through your posts here. All the best to you!!!

Love,
Kari

Joe - I feel you're coming very close to letting the cat out of the bag :).

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:35 pm

Kari... maybe that's woof... As Nurse Nestle would say. For now lets just say No Worries Mate

--Joe

Gabes-Apg · Post by **Gabes-Apg** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:39 pm

Its ok Kari, I have done all the necessary alerts and warnings!

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:41 pm

Gabes warnings??

Why? I have had all my shots and am even house broken :cool:

Mags · Post by **Mags** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:42 pm

Congratulations Harma!

IMO, a woman can never have too many shoes. They will alway come back into style. I am also convinced that mine mate and produce new ones when I am not looking!

King Abdullah does seem to be doing a good job in Jordan. Hopefully he wil follow in his father's footsteps and be able to keep peace by keeping up with what his people want and need. Queen Raina is awsome.
If you do write articles, please let us know where we can read them. I have always wanted to see Petra.

Congratulations also on your relationship with your mother. I have a cousin who has borderline personality disorder, who I love very much, but I have had to cut her out of my life because of the havoc that she causes. I am so glad that you have finally been able to speak to her again. People with this diagnosis can change, but they have to really want to.

I often read your posts, but rarely respond to them. I just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me. Your attitude and your courage in the face of your problems plus your determination to speak your mind are traits that I admire. Good luck in all of your journeys!

Love,

Mags

Gloria · Post by **Gloria** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 5:24 pm

Harma,

Best wishes with your travels. I can't say I won't worry, but I think you have thought through your decision and feel comfortable with it. I'm glad you have a backup plan and your parents will be there for you if you need them. I too have enjoyed reading about your ventures and look forward to reading more. You are much more adventurous than I am and I admire that in you.

Gabes and Joe,

Something weird about your postings. Do let us know what is going on!

Gloria

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:21 am

Morning Harma,

So happy to hear you have made your decided date and also that things stay safe in Jordan for you. I too have Waaaaaaaaaaay too many clothes. One would shudder to see my closets (3) and bureaus & armoire (5). I have purged at every season but they still are there.

Happy to hear also that things have improved with your mom and that you found a renter. You are a true inspiration.

Love, Maggie

P.S. - Joe - so lets hear a woof!

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:04 am

Ok Maggie & Gloria... Woof...

Lets take a quick PP poll, who thinks this flag would look good next to my name on a more permanent basis?

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:23 am

I think it would just smashing Joe!

In many ways, that is my second choice for a homeland but Hubby would never go along with it.

PLEASE keep us posted.

Love, Maggie