Need shoulder to cry on

[Wendy]

Melissa, I have also gone through the same exact feelings when I had to put my Bamm Bamm down. I agonized over it for a few days, cried my eyes out while I was hugging him. And he never once complained about his pain. But I know he was in allot of pain. He had this thing that he would do when he had enough, and it hurt, he would just stop, sit down, and refuse to move. And he was not a small shih tzu, he weighed about 28 pds, since he was on steroids for the degeneration of his spine and that put weight on him. Also, with it hurting so much, he couldn't be real active. He had eyelashes about an inch and a half long, and the most soul full eyes, he could look at you and melt your heart. And he could NEVER be without me. He had to be close to me at ALL times. He became so attached to me, but he would also listen when I would tell him it was time to go in the cage. When I worked and it got close to the time I was leaving, he would know, because I would have my briefcase at the top of the stairs. And that is where he would be waiting, sometimes laying on my jacket, which he knew that he wasn't supposed to do, but that was one thing he wouldn't listen about.
It was discussed with my daughters when he got so he couldn't walk, and he couldn't go to the bathroom because he couldn't walk, and I was too sick to be carrying him anymore. (He had his first paralysis when he was only 5, and I carried him up and down stairs and lifted him up on to the couch or bed till we said good-bye when he was not quite 10) I have many, many pictures of him, and tonnes of great memories.
I just have to think that I saved him from more pain then he needed to suffer, and he gave me so much love that I did something very unselfish for him. It feels empty for a long time, but all I can say is that eventually you can look at the pictures and remember the great memories you shared together. I wish we could keep our animals around us forever, but we only have them for a short period of time, and what a wonderful time it is? I had tears in my eyes when I read what Polly had to say, its so true.

Gentle hugs
Wendy