a jordan update

[harma]

First ant, great that you are off entocort!! I hope you can stay off and a warm welcome to the new members.
Having MC and moving to another place for a while (doesn’t matter if it is just a holiday or for longer stay) is a bit like living as paleo people did. This thought crossed my mind today. When in the old days paleo people moved to another place, they had to find a new place to stay and also had to sort out how and where to gather their food. With MC before you go, you have to make sure you are staying at a place where you can prepare you own food and if not possible how to get in another way. Once arrived it is a hunt through shops, supermarkets to find eatable food. I feel a bit like a modern paleo, searching for my food and a place to stay. For sure not having MC would make it a lot easier. But for everybody with MC (especially when you are new here), don’t let this stop you to live the life you want. With a little (and sometimes a lot) food preparation, a lot is possible. Of course being in remission makes it a lot easier.
My mc is behaving very well, like home. I am still on one budenofalk a day and will stay on it for a while I think. No problems with food, I live on rice, chicken, canned fish, broccoli, carrots, bananas, apples, juice and tea (and water of course, another thing I have to get used to, drink from a bottle not tap). It is only very plain. Haven’t found my apple sauce yet, probably will have to make it my self.
It looks like I found a place to stay; it’s an apartment in a nice area, the one I mentioned before. I saw some other places and they are all a bit worn out. I saw another brand new place but small, no balcony and more expensive. I will survive in a place where the paint bladders a bit of the ceiling. It is large, three bedrooms and two badrooms (!) and above that an extra toilet. Enough space for guest, any MC’er need a bed for a night in Amman, just let me know, don’t worry you will have your own private bathroom facilities  (and so will I).
If anyone here on this board is looking for a great holiday destination, I would say come to Jordan. Although it is the Middle East, Jordan is not involved in any of the conflicts here. Overall in general it is a very save country with a friendly polite population. Two days ago, one of my worst stress moments, I was standing outside a supermarket with six plastic bags getting into a taxi, when I realized I couldn’t tell him where to go, I left my direction paper “home”. So I got out of the taxi and stood there for a while wondering what do you now. I didn’t take long before somebody asks me, if there was a problem and if they could help me. I had already solved it, calling the taxi driver (I already have my regular taxi driver here) that dropped me of there and he came and picks me up to drive me home.
Most famous in Jordan is of course Petra, the ancient city. IMHO jerash, remains of an old roman – Greece city, is even more beautiful, it actually gives you the feeling you are walking in the old town. On the main road in the ancient town you are walking on 2000 year old stones. What is awesome is the Dead Sea, floating in the dead see is so great!!! For sure I will go there a lot while I am here.
It is a Muslim country, but not extreme, with a little respect for the religion and culture, you can move freely as a non-muslim here. Things like don’t drink alcohol in public, don’t get drunk, and dress a bit conservative. Only thing I have a bit of a problem with is that guy in the mosque waking me up every morning around 5. It is still Ramadan, so I think that is a sign for the people here, get out your bed and eat something before the sun will rise. But I will get used to it. I just read today, because of Ramadan, you are not allowed to drink and eat in public…oh… well I did, nothing happened.
The last three days were so intense; I am going to bed between 8 and 9 every evening.
From tomorrow I have a car for three days and I will go for a drive into the country. So this means more MC preparations, I will go later this afternoon and try to score some plastic containers, so I can bring my food on my trips. I am also thinking of spending one or two nights in another place, so that means I have to bring more food. I think I will bring prepared and not prepared food and ask in the hotel if they can prepare some of the food a brought and of course I will take the diet card of ant.
One last thing, the first four days (including the trip to here) were difficult, hard, stress etc. Today I realized it was stress, hard, difficult because I was so stressed out and worried about everything. Because actually till now, nothing really happened why I should freak out the way I do. Yesterday evening I decided okay, take a break. Tomorrow (today) you just take a day off everything, no more house hunting, no more exploring Amman, just relax and take a deep breath. And things look so much different now.

[Polly]

Hi Harma,

I am thoroughly enjoying reading about your adventures! Interesting about your paleo people observation........ And I'm happy to hear that you have figured out a safe diet for now. Do you have to wear long skirts?

Your descriptions of Jordan make me want to visit! I know nothing about the country, so it is fun learning from you. Maybe your attraction to Jordan has something to do with a past life?? You never know.

I enjoyed your story about recognizing that your stress was caused by worrying (that old "monkey mind" the Buddhists talk about) and realizing the importance of turning off that mind chatter and just being in the now ("breathing") as the antidote. I'll bet once you settle into a routine and can get back to your regular meditation, it will help. I also appreciated your realization that nothing had really happened, so no need to freak out......... it's so true that the mind conjures up endless different scary scenarios, which are almost always far worse than the actual situation when we live through it. Thanks, you have reminded me that all we REALLY have to do each day is B R E A T H E.
I'll look forward to hearing more.

Love,

Polly

[Joefnh]

Harma what a wonderful post. I certainly envy your adventures. I have always enjoyed traveling. The closest i got to Jordan was Israel for 3 weeks in 1997. I was not dealing with MC or Crohns at that time, so eating out was not an issue. After my fairly easy trip to Australia, I can understand the paleo hunting comment, we need to source our own foods and really cannot rely on what readily available in the restaurants.

What a great adventure Harma, I wish you the best in your time there.

Take care

-Joe

[mbeezie]

Harma,

I saw Eat, Pray, Love yesterday and it reminded me of you! I hope you find what you are looking for!!

Polly, the past life connection fascinates me. I just read "Soul Survivor", the true story of very young child who was having past life memories from World War II. He had knowlege that a 2 year couldn't possibly have known.

I have been craving an adventure myself . . . who knows where that may lead.

Mary Beth

[ant]

Dear Harma

What an adventure!! You describe your life there so well it is almost as if we are all with you. All the best as you settle in.

Thanks for the thumbs up on my progress (of course, it is also fingers crossed) and I hope that you too will continue to improve and one day get totally off what you once called your "rotten pills".

All best, Ant

[tex]

Harma,

Great post! Your comparison with paleo hunter-gatherers is certainly appropriate. I've probably learned more about the country of Jordan from reading your posts, than I had learned in a lifetime, up to this point.

When I first read that you were planning to go there, I wondered, "Why on earth would she want to go there?" Now, I can see that there are some logical reasons behind your selection.

Enjoy your trip into the countryside, tomorrow.

Tex

[barbaranoela]

Harma---what a super post----
I re-read it just to enjoy the way U described everything--
Yes---U surely have to keep us updated as U go along--describing it all--


love Barbara

[Rosie]

Harma, I've been away for a while, and have been reading your upbeat posts about the move to Jordan. Good for you for following your dream. No matter how it turns out, you will have the satisfaction of actually having done it. And with your attitude, I suspect that the move will turn out well for you!

Rosie

[Gloria]

Harma,
You seem to have a great attitude about new experiences and it sounds like you are willing to adapt to the situation.

I am in awe of you. I don't think I could do it with a companion, and you are going it alone. Are you concerned about becoming lonely or do you have some friends there?

I never considered that there would be a 5 a.m. wake-up call during Ramadan. You are bringing the experience of living in Jordan right into our homes. You make me want to visit, too.

Gloria

[Gabes-Apg]

Mary beth - i read eat, love, pray while i was on my europe trip (pre MC diagnosis)
the analogy to this situation is very true

thinking about Harma's post and thinking about Connies desire for a remote island.

it makes sense to me to remove yourself from the surrounds that were there pre-MC and during MC transition. it sounds like a dream come true to move to a place where people accept you for as you are now (not what you used to be), to be in a place where majority of the people follow strong cultural values and there is acceptance of those values, ie you are not ridiculed for not consuming alcohol or certain food products.

The place you have chosen sounds perfect! i love the fact that the quantity of toilets is one of the key features. As you said the last couple of days have been intense you have taken big steps out of your safety zone, now you can just breathe and enjoy your surrounds. Ramadan finishes this week.... so you should see some people celebrating with feasts and the like later in the week

thank you for including us in this wonderful experience

[Bifcus16]

Hi Harma,

It sounds like you are dealing really well with the change! I like the bit about your trouble getting home. Funny how good we can be at coming up with solutions when we need to.

We want to hear all about your new life. You are realling grabbing life in both hands.

Lyn

[MaggieRedwings]

Great Post Harma,

So looking forward to following your adventure. It is a way for me to vicariously travel to a new land.

Love, Maggie

[Linda in BC]

I really enjoyed your post , too, Harma. Thank you, and I hope your three days with a car and getting out into the country is a good relaxer for you.
Best regards,
Linda

[mia]

Harma- this is so exciting and exotic. What a wonderful adventure to have!
Mia

[harma]

Hello everybody, an update on my in Jordan (it still gives me such a cool feeling seeing that Jordan flag as country of IP, shows that I am actually here). Again I have had great days and some quiet days. Making life changing moves sounds very exciting and of course it is. But is also fear, missing a daily routine and strangely enough sometimes also being bored (not knowing what to do with the time). At home, we all have our normal routine, work, gym, shopping, going out, meeting friends; here I have no routine at all. It is a funny mixture of moving to a totally new place and being on holiday. What I also find difficult now and then, if I don’t do anything, think of what I could do, plan anything, actually nothing does happen. At home that goes much easier, life lives itself. Also I have no car here (god I wish I had a car here, which would be so great).

I also experienced, the problems/feelings I had at home, I still have here. The last time I was here on holiday I felt so great, so alive, so connected with my inner soul. I had this feeling until last year when the MC started. I got so into being ill, finding a way to recover, I think some will recognize this. I still wonder if that is part of the disease too. I never have been really depressed, but for over a year now, my life had come to in very quiet water. Inside the spirit, the inner connection wasn’t there anymore. A bit like being dead inside. Over the months the MC recovered okay, but the dead feeling inside is still there. I sometimes wonder if it could be a side effect of the entocort.

I was hoping, finally make the move to come here (I have been wanting this, since my last visit in 2008,) in a split second my life energy would be back. Well, I didn’t. Where ever you go, you always bring yourself he and no quick fix. The positive thing is, whatever if is there holding back to get my life really back on track, I am finally dealing with it here. I have been on the run for something for over a year now. Quite ironic, being on the run for something and deal with it by running away from home.
My MC is going very well, by the way, I am taking a lower daily dose (about 2 mg a day) and I notice no difference, once I have moved to me new place (in two days), I am going to try every other day and maybe stop totally. I will see how it works out.

Diet goes well. Although there isn’t much choice in vegetables, at least not, what I was used to. I have been on carrots for almost two weeks now (and broccoli for a couple of days), and yesterday I couldn’t even find carrots, so I am now on fruit, rice and chicken. From Wednesday I am closer to bigger supermarkets, what will make the food shopping much easier.

I have done some real cool things the last 8 days. In the beginning of last week I rented a car for three days. Me actually driving around in Jordan, as if it is the north of the Netherlands. I had to get used to the car, an automatic geared one. I am used to drive with a stick. In cases I didn’t know what to do or when I panicked, I pushed break and gas together and the car would make an emergency stop, it happened 4 – 5 times, thanks god there was no one behind me. The traffic is Arab, not as bad as Egypt or Syria, but still totally different from Europe (and I guess also US). Outside the towns and bigger villages it’s fine, very very very quiet. I have been on desert roads where you pass 5 cars an hour and a couple of one horse (or should I say one camel) towns (thank you tex for expression, the Dutch variant is “one and half men and a horse head”). The third day I ended up three times in one of the bigger places (not the capital Amman, driving there is totally different cup of tea, which I am not ready to drink yet) during rush hour. It was not rush hour because every had to rush home from work, no that had to get their groceries, new clothes and other stuff because Ramadan was almost over than. It’s one of those things you must not really think about too much ending up, it is much better it just happens to you. It is CHAOS. But the chaos works. Just stay calm and go with the flow. It is a long line of very slow driving cars, using all the available space on the road (a two lane road is used as a four and sometimes 6 lane road, only without actually lanes), cars pass you left and if you leave a little space also right. Cars stop and leave whenever they want to, without checking the mirror or using the indicator (or Jordan cars don’t have one, or they have no idea why cars have an indicator), and using the horn on and on and on (as if it would help).
With the car I went to Petra and back with my own prepared food for three days. Places where I stayed, I asked them if they could put in the fridge. Maybe it was a bit strange, but it went well.

Today was another highlight. The Dead Sea. Whenever you come to Jordan or Israel, make sure you go to the Dead Sea. It is awesome. The area around the Dead Sea is also special; it’s very desolate, quiet. With my rental car I already did some driving along and around the Dead Sea. Swimming in the Dead Sea is going to a spa, resort or beach club. The place where I went was beautiful, a great pool looking over the Dead Sea and of course floating in the dead sea. I have been there from 11 till 8 today. Also during night, it is still so nice and hot. I think I spend about three whole hours floating in the salt water, such an amazing feeling.

I will try and put some photo’s here next time.

Well I am going to take a shower know, my hair feels like straw.