I LOVE HAVING MC BECAUSE:
1. I don't have to exercise to keep my weight down.
... 1.1 I get all my exercise RUNNING to the bathroom.
..... 1.2. I get to spend quality time catching up with my young kids who almost always follow me into the bathroom.
....... 1.3 I get to educate my kids all about #2s.
2. I can get #2s done in 2 minutes.
3. I'm never, ever, constipated.
4. I can jump to the front of the long line at Potbelly's Sandwich Shop, because I'm only buying the vegan vegetable soup.
5. I can avoid gorging on junk food at the ballpark.
6. I get to blow the family grocery budget on specialty foods.
7. I can eat all the meat, seafood, eggs, nuts and fat I want.
8. I can drink all the fruity mixed drinks I want.
9. When people invite me to dinner, they have to serve good, healthy foods, instead of cheap pizza and pasta.
10. Sorbet is tastier than ice cream.
11. I save money on lunch at work because I almost always bring my own.
12. I have veto power over which restaurants we go to.
13. I can quiz waiters and their managers and make them feel guilty for their ignorance.
14. I don't have to see doctors for follow-up, unless I want to.
15. I can manage my symptoms with diet instead of medications.
