Very Sad News

Polly · Post by **Polly** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 5:48 am

Hi Good Buddies,

I had some extremely sad news in the past week. My brother George in California was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. He was feeling well until about 6 weeks ago when he began to have a little indigestion and was treated for H. pylori infection. He developed jaundice about 10 days ago. He was supposed to go on a bike tour of England and Ireland this week and had planned a vacation in Peru for November. Sigh.

George lives alone. The nearest relative is a son who lives about 600 mi. north of him. George cannot move to that area because it is very remote and lacks good medical services. His other son lives in Virginia and is married with 3 kids. So, I have offered for him to come and live with us, and he has accepted the invitation. He has to make sure that his medical insurance (with Kaiser) can be transferred to Maryland without any interruption and also has to have a stent placed in his common bile duct before he can travel.

As you probably know, this is the most lethal cancer, and very little progress has been made with effective treatment. The one year survival rate for ALL stages (with stage 0 being the best and stage 4 the worst is only 20%). His doc has told him he is probably not a candidate for surgery, so he will be getting mainly palliative treatment. It will be incredibly difficult to watch him deteriorate and suffer, but I feel this is the least I can do. He has already lost 20 lbs. and feels poorly most days.

I know I can count on all of you for much-needed support during this difficult time. I have had some D in past week, despite the perfect BMs I have had since starting the MRT/LEAP diet in Jan. I am one who immediately sends any and all stress directly to my gut. I HAVE to learn to change this pathway - I have been like this all of my life - when I feel stressed, I immediately run to the bathroom with D. Even if I have eaten absolutely none of my sensitive foods. Sigh. I need to get a large supply of Imodium.

Love,

Polly

iceburg · Post by **iceburg** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:25 am

Sorry to hear you have such a difficult journey in front of you at the moment, I am glad you will be able to spend some time with your brother, George, Wish it was better circumstances!! Hope you are able to have some happy memories during your journey....

Carol

JLH · Post by **JLH** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:36 am

Polly, I am so sorry to hear the bad news about your brother. I know he will get the very best of care with you.

:bigbighug:

Love,
Joan

Deb · Post by **Deb** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:42 am

Polly, I, too, am so sorry to hear about your brother. Like you, my stress also goes right to my gut.
My prayers will be with you all.
Love, Deb

Joefnh · Post by **Joefnh** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:48 am

Polly that is very sad news. Your brother is incredibly fortunate to have you as a sister. You really are stepping up and taking on quite a responsibility, what a great act of love for your family.

Best wishes during this time.

Joe

harma · Post by **harma** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:34 am

Polly I am so sorry for your brother having this horrible disease, and he is very fortunate to have you. I really hope some good months are left for you and your brother. It is really great what you are offering him.

I know exactly what you mean stress going straight to your gut. Only advice I can give you is "just feel it", feel through it. And yes well no reaction at all on such sad news, of somebody so close being so ill, that won't be normal too.

I wish you and your brother a lot of strength in this very difficult time to come. I will pray for him.

Post by **tex** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:44 am

Polly,

I'm so very sorry to read such sad news. What a sudden shock that news had to be for you and your family. Obviously, someone needs to figure out a way to detect early signs of pancreatic cancer. It's one of the most insidious forms of cancer known, and yet so little progress is being made in diagnosing and treating it.

It sounds as though your brother was a strong individual, who lived a healthy lifestyle, which makes it so ironic that this should happen to him. I know that you will need all the strength and self-reliance that you can muster, in order to deal with this, and I'm sure that you'll find a way to do it. I sincerely hope that you can find a way to prevent the stress from going straight to your enteric nervous system.

Much love and admiration, dear friend, you'll be in my thoughts every day,

Tex

barbaranoela · Post by **barbaranoela** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:09 am

Polly so very sorry to read about your brother-----I understand and FEEL your pain----as I can relate it to when I lost my brother Robert----I watched Robert deteriorate and he asked that Question--*Barb why me?

There is no answer to that Question----an answer that makes any sense to us---cus Robert---as sure as your brother is--was the best going----always a smile---a laughter that would make U beam---just someone that should be with us forever--

and even sadder that in all the years we have known each other I never knew U had a brother----I pray for U all

luve Barbara

sarkin · Post by **sarkin** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:28 am

Polly,

I'm so sorry to hear this heart-wrenching news. It must be a huge shock, for him and you and all family and friends. It truly is wonderful that he can be with you. Somewhere in middle age I sort of rediscovered my brother, who also lives very far away. Our siblings really knew us when and travel the whole journey with us, in a unique way. I hope this time with him is more about love and connection than fear and sadness, and that you find a way to break the stress-gut chain.

Sending loving thoughts your way,

Sara

natythingycolbery · Post by **natythingycolbery** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:47 am

Polly so sorry to hear this news. Love and hugs from the UK for you and your family. xxxx

:bigbighug:

Martha · Post by **Martha** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:19 am

Dear Polly,

I'm so sorry to hear the news about your brother George. Bless you for opening your home to him. I pray that you will have some good times together, even as he walks through this dreaded disease.

Love,
Martha

ant · Post by **ant** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:39 am

Dear Polly,

So sorry to hear the news of your brother and so wonderful of you to take on the huge and loving responsibility. As others have said, I hope you and your brother will have some good experiences in the time ahead.

When my father was dying, I was lucky enough to have time to be with him and help him sort out his autobiography (privately published just for the family and dedicated to his grandchildren). The writing was great (the essence of his personality) but none too organized - as he knew. We sat together and edited it. I will never regret the time I spent with him at that time and the fact that he knew someone cared.

Best wishes to you and your brother, love ant

TooManyHats · Post by **TooManyHats** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 9:40 am

I'm very sorry to hear this news. My thoughts and prayers are with your brother and your family.

Zizzle · Post by **Zizzle** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 10:12 am

Dear Polly,
I'm so sorry about your brother. This will be a difficult time for your family. He is so lucky to have you. I hope you manage to have some enjoyable moments, and otherwise just relish being together. My stress also goes straight to my gut, often before I even realize I'm under stress! Please be sure to carve out relaxation and alone time for yourself to recharge the batteries...you will need it.

God bless you and your brother.

MaggieRedwings · Post by **MaggieRedwings** » Wed Jun 15, 2011 11:24 am

My heart goes out to you and your brother. I am so sorry to hear that he has stage 4. You have such a wonderful heart and the offering of your home is something I totally understand that you would do. I just lost a very dear friend - my boss' dad - who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He kept going right up until the end and he surprised all of his doctors and advisors by staying with the family for 2 years and 13 days. Went FAR beyond their expectations but that is so rare. It is definitely a terribly devastating form of cancer and your brother is so lucky you will be there with him.

You are in my prayers. Love, Maggie