Got into a yelling match with my bros doctor today

[Wendy]

My brother has been coming to see me to talk about what ails him for sometime now, and the one thing that was happening is that he wasn't getting though to him. So he started to ask me to come to speak up for him, or jump in when I know that he is leaving out critical information that the doctor would need. He is a very quiet man, and in no way agressive in speaking with anyone in the medical field. This has led to much confusion for him and for the doctor. But his doctor talks too much, won't let you explain things if it is direct conflict with what he believes it to be. So I have put him on the spot many times before this, where he had to answer. Bruce has been off work for the last year, in that time they found out he has severe sleep apnea, very severe, so he has to wear a machine. He should have been noticing some inprovement with his waking hours, bur he was still over fatigued. He falls asleep the momment he sits still. Then they did a follow up study at the sleep clinic and found that even with the machine he was still not reaching restorative sleep, no REM sleep at all. And so he wakes up easily, and can'tget back to sleep for hours. A cycle that he has tried to break, as falling asleep during the day is not good, but like I said he just falls aleep. I am starting to think narcolepsy (falling aseep while doing something) might be part of the problem. The other thing is he suffers from chonic pain from prior accidents that required surgery, and one should had it done twice. So since he is not in any deep sleep he wakes up, from the pain, which gets really bad. No REM sleep no recovery time, all the little repairs that happen in that deep sleep, do not happen. Same idea as Fibromyalgia. Well one of the things this doctor does is give him little things he will have to do to check this or that out, and calling his office to make sure they have done this or that on his behalf. He also wants to check on his progress with new meds he has been trying find one that works for his pain and to get him into the dseep REM sleep. Well my brother has a habit of trying something for a few nights, not liking the feeling it gives to him, so he stops taking it. Frustrating for the doctor, and frustrating fo me and to his GP, because it never takes it past the part where your body has adjusted to it. He was also getting off the oxicodin he was taking for pain. Can you believe the doctor put him on 80 mgs twice a day. Enough to kill a hourse really, he became incherant and out of it all the time. It controlled his pain though. Well, ge us down to only 20 mgs a day, but needs to take something to help him through the day. And to sleep better. Anyway, WSIB sent him to this program that was suposed to help him. Today we needed the doctor to listen to what his insurance company has done, and that they wanted him to sign off on the report that was just totally knocking his charactorer, we had also brother in the letter we had composed to address the many lies in the report, that he had asked us to do. The other thing he had asked Bruce to do was find out if any of his job could be done at home. Well he started going off on Bruce about why is wasted his time not telling him the momment he came in the office. The reason is, is that he doesn't explain himself well, and doesn't elaborate on anything, nada, nothing, or he simply forgets, because of his fatigue. The job they want him to return to is a computer specialist job, where you wear earphones everyday and you have to be on the ball because you are helping some big clients take care of their problems. And if he can't keep up now, how is he going to be able to all of a sudden on Monday. Basically that is why I go, we talk, so I know what needs to be said. The other thing is he suffers from panic attacks, bad ones. His company told them regardless of the what the reports say, if his doctor doesn't agree with them, he can say he needs more time. But the doctor kept if-ing and but-ting about everything. So I cut him off and lost it, and the doctor lost it too. Meanwhile Bruce is sitting there, most likely saying to himself 'you go get em Wendy". But we managed to get the message across, and he left to check a few things, then when he came back he had done a complete 360 degree change about ALL of it. I think he went out to check on something we had told him. He came back saying that he was going to tell his company that at this time he is not able to start, as we have not ironed out the sleep problems, which could be very bad by the way, with the degree that he stops breathing per hour, and the fact that he has a heart problem too. His heart skips beats all the time, so he take heart meds to regulate the beats, but the sleep apnea even interferes with that. All in all when we left this time we were satified, with the conversation we ended up having and had some things that my bro can do till we see him again on Monday. At which time I told Bruce that he should apologize for stopping meds that the doc prescibes without first talking to him, and that as a doctor it must be frustrating him, which it is.

But the thing is that an encounter like that leaves me a nervous wreck of a person after. Even though I do end up getting through, it is always at a price. But I would be dammed if I was going to let him tell my brother off for him not telling the doctor everything. Something I have to do all the time to get him to further explain the details that he thinks I should have already known. And he is stubborn when it comes to not liking to change. But who does right?

Anyway, he would like to go back, but he is very much in a panic., and has been close to tears several times, although he hides it well. We just try to look out for each other.

Then there is my Mel, aka Nathania, got a text message from her friend, who is an actor here in Toronto going to acting school, (was in Mean Girls with Linsey Lohan) any way she is at the south campus, Mel is at the North campus, but they were going to meet to go out for coffee or something. But there was no Mel when she got to her office, when she asked where she might be, they told her that they had to rush her to the emergency room as she couldn't see and thought her blood sugar had dropped to low. She ran over to see her at the hospital and found her crying waiting for her Girlfriend who she lives with to come and pick her up to go home. They told her that her blood sugar was only 3.5, and that was after she ate food, so what was it when she got up????? So tomorrow they are doing a 12 hour fast and then taking her sugar levels. But we already knew she had hypogylcemia, which is hard for her to take care of while she is running to classes and so forth. She tries to never eat anything sweet, and basically her diet is not a poor one, but while she is in classes it might go on longer, and there is no time between that one and the next. But her friend Olympia, is going to drag her him tomorrow to check it out.

So I have to wait till tomorrow sometime to findout how she is doing, as she did not call me, so I wouldn't panic. But its a good thing her friends have my number too.

That was my excitement for the day, hope tomorrow is less so.

And it is so far so good for the grandchild carrying daughter of mine.


And it is way over my bedtime and I am falling asleep here at my wonderfull laptop. It is hard for me to put it down.

But I do have too.

Night night to all and sweet dreams for all

Gentle hugs

Wendy

[tex]

All I can say is: Wow! What a day!. I hope the rest of the week goes a lot more smoothly.

Hugs,
Wayne

[Wendy]

Me too. LOL

Hugs
Wendy

[barbaranoela]

Wendy~~~~~~ these were some issues that U had to deal with----

I cant imagine how U R holding up----besides *holding* everyone else UP!!!

I would say more than Xcitment----
Do take care of YOU!!!


Gentle but strong for U
luve Barbara

[starfire]

Wow, Wendy,
I would say you definitely need a calm quiet day if not 2 or 3!!

Hope all things improve SOON.

Love, Shirley

[Sally]

Wendy, your brother is a lucky man. Good for you.

But I worry about the cost to you. I know that when I get upset like that I suffer for it for at least a day afterward. Please get some rest. Snuggle with Pebbles and let the world turn without you for a while.

It's always something, isn't it?

Take care and lots of love,

Grams