The really sad thing is that 2 years ago her mom got remarried and moved to another town, and she came to the decision that at the time she didn't want to finish out her high school in another city where she knew no one. But her mom talks to her sometimes 3 times a day, and they go to see each other. But last year her mom got a blood clot and almost died. A few months later, just as they started to adjust to their mom having gotten sick, they found what they thought was a brain tumour. She had to have brain surgery, and it turned out to be another blood clot. Well by this time the doctors thought something was causing this, and they found out she has a rare blood disease that will eventually kill her. But not before it causes her life to change drastically, she may need a bone marrow transplant and or Chemo because that is another thing that can happen, she could get some form of cancer. She might live a few months, or she might live longer, but it is not knowing that is so hard on the kids. But particularly the youngest that I am closest to. And I have recieved some very disturbing phone calls from her when she has taken things that deaden the pain she is feeling of knowing her mom is not going to be here for all the things she might go through in years to come. But as a mom myself, I knew that I could not forgive myself if I did not talk to her mom, as her dad was out of the question, as he has banned even my name to be spoken in his house. So about a month ago I wrote her mom. The only thing is I thought she would get a hold of me after she read it, but I heard nothing. And her daughter was supposed to call me to let me know to let me know after I talked to her, so that I would know she is okay and to tell me what steps she was going to take to deal with things better. But I also did not hear from her. So as Sept. slipped away, I was getting pretty worried. So last night I called her moms, even though I was worried about causing her any kind of stress, I knew what kind of a mom she was, and that was a mom that still wanted her daughters to keep talking to her, good or bad. Which they don't do now, and that was killing her in itself, as she knew somethings were not right. Anyway, we had a big cry, and talked for a couple of hours, I feel so bad for her, as she knows that she is not going to be there for them as they go through life, and now she just wants to equip them as much as possible to be able to deal with life without her. I just don't know what else I can do for her daughter, I am not using her name for a reason, but the chances of someone there knowing about this is slim if not impossible. But it just breaks my heart, as I cannot call her and even if I email her, her dad is very informed on every method of finding out if I am contacting her via that way. And he has made her life pretty bad when he has found out she has talked to me, or when he found out she has emailed me. So I have tried to keep a limited distance while at the same time being there when she needs to talk to me. I wish I could just go in and rescue her, but I have no rights. I didn't care if she hated me forever for talking to her mom, if it meant saving her from something worse then any child should have to go through. It is just a sad, sad state to be in, I am just worried about her, but it is as if you are between a rock and a hard place. Her mom has promised to keep me updated, and is going to work out the best way to get her to talk to her, without getting her back up against the wall. Very hard to do with a teenager, right?
Well I just needed to air this, as I have a heavy heart right now, and I know that I can come here and you will just listen, even when it is not CC related.
Thanks
Wendy
