Ok...Here's the scoop!

[annie oakley]

Went to the Doc and Of course I probably posted some of this but I am at 90% on the knee...needs more work. I am graduating to a cane Next week, Have to go to walmart this weekend and buy one. Two visits ago to the PT (Theres mental health in there too) I lost it and went into a fit of crying. They emediatly had The mental health theripist take me inside her offce and we talked, I discovered my biggest problems are these 1 I haveen't grieved long enough for those lost this last year and 1/2 . Also I have alsways taken charge of things and just did what I had to do, had control. I cannot totally control this situation and Lost it. But Am working on that and will keep ya'll updated. I am feeling better and the flowersa are so beautiful I think of ya'll everytime I look at them Love Oma

[Wendy]

Dear Oma, I remember when I was little that I was told not to cry, and if I kept crying I would get another slap, and that was after getting a spanking usually with a leather belt for something I didn't do. And then during the spanking I would be saying "No Dad, No Dad" and he would say you better say "Yes Dad, or you're going to get more!" Then I would hear my parents laughing about how much I begged for him not to spank me. I was being sexually abused by others at the time, so it was a reconfirmation that I was never supposed to say no, or speak up for myself. It took me years and years to over come that, and I am also the only child of my parents to deal with this all with them. They were so remorseful, but back then they just never thought that spanking a child and all the other stuff harmed you. It was the way they were brought up. The parent was the all knowing, always right entity, and a child had no rights, no feelings and no voice. And when I started to have problems and so forth, then my parents thought I was on drugs. I ended up in a foster home for 7 months. I had an amazing foster mother, I was lucky, and she did something that no one else ever did for me. She spoke for me, she called my mother and told her that it was time she grew up and became a mother. And that started the healing. It took another 10 years before we got to the talking part, and sometimes they still try and avoid it, but I don't take no for an answer. We talk, and we now understand each other allot more. The first thing I did learn is that not talking about something doesn't mean it isn't smouldering inside you. It eventually comes to a head, and its not always easy to talk about, but its better afterwards. I read a story once about a father taking a child out for a walk in the forest, there was a storm that came up quickly and they had to take shelter, they were very afraid, but it passed soon. They then headed home, but not before a beautiful rainbow appeared in the sky. The father told his son that life was like that sometimes, you have to sometimes get through the storms to see the beautiful rainbows afterwards. It is like that, when you finally deal with the things that you have kept bottled up. In my family I was always the strong one, I was the one that kept my chin up all the time, and hid my hurt, to be strong for everyone else. Well, it didn't work. But there is another saying that I have always loved, and that is this, "The world breaks everyone, but some of us become strong at the broken places." Oh, it doesn't mean that we never will have our hearts broken or have other struggles, but we do come away knowing a little more of our strengths, and our heads up a little higher.

Take care dear lady,

Gentle hugs
Wendy

[Polly]

For Oma and Wendy.

Love,

Polly

[MaggieRedwings]

Morning Oma and Wendy,

Oma, you are doing outstanding at 90% and a lot of us just do not take the time grieve when we should because of so many things needing to be done at the time and eventually it comes forth, and usually in all of the wrong situations. I am hoping things get better soon.

Wendy - My father would also not allow us to cry - he would always call me his Little Soldier and you know soldiers do not cry. I had an accident one time and needed 18 stitches in the back of my leg at the knee joint and the ER could not understand how I could not be screaming and crying for a 7 year old. My father explained I was his Little Soldier and they don't cry. Know that I think about it the people in the ER looked at him like he was crazy. Different days and different ways of parenting I guess.

Love, Maggie

[harvest_table]

Wow

(((((((((((((((((((GROUPHUG)))))))))))))))))))))

Love you all,
Joanna

[Mars]

[Umber]

You are doing great Oma. My MIL had this same operation and she certainly wasn't where you are right now. It must be your determination and drive. Bless your heart!

Hugs

Lori

[Peggy]

Oma,

You have been emailing Momster, haven't you? She has first hand knowledge of the knee operation. She'll be getting another one, too.



On-the-mend right along with ya,
Peg

[annie oakley]

Well Hi Everyone. Tex I sure hope you are feeling better. I haven't been on the board as I have been working on my range of mption and feeling lazy...House looks it too. I need a maid. Mike has been cooking everynight and doing the dishes except when I feel like I can. PT had me start on using my cane around the house. Must still take waker when going out. I still need some pain meds but have downgraded to Ulyracet from heavy duty stuff. Still can sit long but am working on it. Love to all Oma