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My boys were watching Nickelodeon (kids' network) last night - on came a commercial for "Playtex Sport" feminine protection. (Why is this appropriate advertising @ 7pm on a children's network?) All of these young girls were running around playing soccer, tennis etc....
My 10 yo asked what kind of sport thing it was for girls? LOL!! I kinda sputtered and said it was for "ladies" more than girls - he said "but what is it?" so I finally said "it's kind of personal/private for them to use" and he finally let it go....
Okay I was raised in a moderately repressed household....I guess I should be glad *he* feels comfortable asking me questions about stuff- but I was SO not prepared!! I guess this year in school (5th grade) he'll get more info - he has a male teacher, though - so I'm not sure how much they learn about the workings of the other gender...
Sigh - Polly? Can you suggest a good book on the subject? I'm not ready for this yet - and Mike is out of town I figured I could deflect questions his way....ahhh I need a drink!
I don't have kids and have never had to explain. Hopefully Polly has some good pointers.
One thing though...my brother is completely disgusted by the whole matter. I remember his old girlfriend once telling me he made her hide her "products"! How silly is that??? It's natural and part of life, and nothing to be embarassed about IMHO.
Our oldest is only a year behind...I'm not looking forward to the conversations either!
I remember in 5th grade they did the whole sex ed thing...separated us boys to one room, girls to another. And they did talk about the other sex. But that was 25 years ago.
Geoff was a trooper...also very uncomfortable with those discussions, but having to live with me through last year's crisis....But before that, every month I'd head to the bathroom upstairs and he'd ask where I was going. I'd reply "the bathroom". He'd say "well why don't you use the downstairs one". Then he'd get all embarassed when I told him I needed stuff. And he never learned either, which made it sort of funny.
Good luck Mary, and let us know how you handle it...like I said, I know those are conversations that are coming.
I have found that explaining things in short, non-graphic ways seem to quench their inquisitivness. Don't tell the whole story but also don't lie. Believe me, they find out more information at school than you will tell them; sooner too! Unfortunately, if we don't tell our kids, they find out things in the wrong manner or with the wrong information.
In this case......
You could explain that they are personal items that girls use when they have thier "monthly period" or "something a woman needs sometimes". Sometimes kids just want an answer; they don't need further information. I would drop it at that.....and then answer each question asked, IF they continue to ask. Don't answer any more or give any more information unless specifically asked. By hiding or avoiding a question, they get the feeling/idea that there is something secretive about it or something "dirty".
You can also tell them that they will learn more about it in the next year at school = if they are to participate in sex ed. (I think we did in the 5th grade.)
Oh, raising kids is such fun isn't it!
Good luck,
Mars
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -- Buddha
They grow up quickly, don't they? Anyway, Mars Bar gave perfect advice. Most parents err on the side of giving too much info, when a simple statement would suffice. If you want further advice, check out the American Academy of Peds website at www.aap.org and click on the Parents' Corner. Then click on "Sexuality" in the alphabetical index.
Also, librarians can recommend good books for different ages. You can then review them and see which might be best for your kids.
Love,
Polly
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
I just wanted to offer that you said your child is in 5th grade; well, I got my period in 6th, and I recall a girl who got it in 5th. Unfortunately she was the brunt of a LOT of horrible teasing, but I think the more boys know about stuff like this (the more they know the more "normal" it is), the less inclined to isolate and make fun of those who *suffer* from it at a young age. Seems like maybe that sort of advertising should wait for a later hour, but I have a feeling they were appealing to that audience.. the early bloomers who want to live their lives.
My kids are 6 and 7 now and they have already asked that type of thing. They see my *stuff* in the garbage and they ask about it - because I seem to be the only one who USES the bathroom garbage, it is fairly obvious. I told them it was something girls and women use when they have their period. They didn't ask what a period was so I stopped there. Had they asked, however, I'd have told them it's something that girls have to get them ready for having a baby. It's true, and it makes it sound "no-big-deal", with a side of "nunya-bidness" lol.
I was talking with my therapist this week about my kids and open talking and one thing she said was that if you react like something is a big deep dark secret and shameful when they ask questions about it, they're going to get the perception that it IS deep, dark, secret and shameful. Maybe you should practice for next time it comes up..? I have issues discussing *other* things with my boys; specifically about their DUD father. I have to work on that LOL.
Christine! Good to hear from you - update us when you get the chance! I appreciate averyone's advice - and like Mars says - I just need to give the info he's asked about, and not offer more details...I think I will feel less "blind-sided" next time it comes up - and I am glad he feels like he can ask me about it - better me than other 5th grade boys (who knows *WHAT* they would say )
I remember we had a *very* developed girl in 5th grade, and she had special permission to use the faculty bathroom - I guess I figured the questions would come *after* the family life presentation in school - and 6th grade is middle school here - so it is just around the corner, whether or not I am ready!
I remember having to drag a 1 & 3 y.o. in the bathroom stall w/me when we were out & about - they were usually too busy unrolling TP or peeking under doors to notice what I was doing, LOL!
I figured I could deflect questions his way....ahhh I need a drink!
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