Or, you might hear something like this .....

If the famous redneck comedian, Jeff Foxworthy, had MC, he would probably be telling jokes about it, and they would probably go something like the jokes you will find here.

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tex
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Or, you might hear something like this .....

Post by tex »

If you're self conscious around other people, due to all the gurgling noises in your guts, which sound a lot like a partially choked up drain with a built-in amplifier,

You might have MC.


If you consider the word "prep" to be as disgusting as some of the other "four letter words",

You might have MC.


When someone asks you how you're doing , if your answer almost always includes a mention of the number of trips to the bathroom you make each hour, or each day,

You might have MC.


If you know more alternate names for the word "feces", than can be found in Webster's Unabridged Dictionary,

You might have MC.


If you can name every antidiarrheal medication on the market, and describe most of the side effects and restrictions for every one,

You might have MC.


If you sometimes feel so badly that you're barely able to drag yourself out of bed, but you can still get to the bathroom in three seconds flat,

You might have MC.


If the phrase, "fouling your own nest", has a particularly poignant significance for you,

You might have MC.


If your idea of a shopping spree, is to spend most of the afternoon stocking up on Lomotil, Depends, and toilet paper,

You might have MC.


If all your friends and relations have stopped asking what's wrong, every time you jump up and run out of the room,

You might have MC.


If your spouse has ever asked you what was in that suspicious looking plastic container next to the ice cream in the freezer, and you finally had to break down and admit that it was a stool sample, waiting to be shipped to a lab,

You might have MC.
:cowboy:

It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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Post by Gas Bag »

All of these one-lines are so side splittingly funny. I just finally got to this part of the forum. Really Tex, they are just brilliant. Best laugh I've had in awhile. All of those posts in here, I won't comment on them all however.

If you do know "shi* from shinola", you might have MC.
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Post by ant »

Ha, just saw these too :lol: good laugh!

Got me thinking....I was in a "designer" office building today and.....

If you avoid modern loos with automatic sensors, because when you get up they always flush your BM away before you can inspect it.

You might have MC
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Post by Gas Bag »

ant wrote:Ha, just saw these too :lol: good laugh!

Got me thinking....I was in a "designer" office building today and.....

If you avoid modern loos with automatic sensors, because when you get up they always flush your BM away before you can inspect it.

You might have MC
Haha, yeah that is all we have in our building, it does make poop inspection a bit difficult! A lot of our toilets have hair triggers, you can barely get the toilet seat liner down and get on the toilet before it flushes! And let's face it, alot of the time we don't have a minute to spare either!
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Post by tex »

:lol: :lol: :thumbsup:

Mr. Foxworthy would surely be proud of both of you, as joke writers.

Tex
:cowboy:

It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
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Post by JLH »

:lol: :lol: :lol: , I'm glad this post was resurrected. Too funny as are the ones after.
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Deb

Post by JLH »

Tear the flap out and you won't have that problem.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor and don't play one on TV.

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Post by Gas Bag »

If you have alternate routes mapped out to the various restrooms in your office, you might have MC.

Deb

Thanks Tex, your's are hysterical!
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Post by Kate0129 »

Love it!!!

If, when you used to work, you would go up 3 flights of stairs, all the while squeezing your butt cheeks together, praying you would get there in time before crapping your pants, you might just have MC!
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Post by jlbattin »

Too funny! I really laughed over this one:
If your spouse has ever asked you what was in that suspicious looking plastic container next to the ice cream in the freezer, and you finally had to break down and admit that it was a stool sample, waiting to be shipped to a lab,

You might have MC.
I wish you could have seen his face! His response, "You didn't have to tell me that!" To which I responded with, "Well, you asked!" LOL!
Jari


Diagnosed with Collagenous Colitis, June 29th, 2015
Gluten free, Dairy free, and Soy free since July 3rd, 2015
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