Ok, since noone else wants to LOL
I have several confessions from this past weekend -
1. Saturday, at my grandma's birthday party, I had a rice krispie bar, which contains corn syrup, and I knew this, but everyone ELSE had all the food THEY wanted from the Old Country Buffet and if you can believe this, they only had 2 or 3 things I could eat on the ENTIRE BUFFET!!! All the meat was fried except for the salisbury steaks. And potatos and plain veggies were all the rest I could eat, so by-golly, I was HAVING desert!!!
2. Sunday, at Father's Day celebration at Trent's parents house - Pool Party!!! I had Skittles and chips for lunch, because I guess I thought they'd have more I could snack on. Usually they have peanuts, shrimp, and summersausage as snacks but this time, they did not!!! And I was DYING of hunger by then. SHAME ON ME.
Anyway, ANOTHER PURPOSE for this room would be to "confess" about things you're stressing about. Get them OFF your chest, get suport from others here, get opinions about what you could have done to relieve your stress better.. Personally, I do things or say things I feel guilty for, specifically to my EX, because I'm sort of in the middle between him and Trent - my EX nearly gets away with murder, and the ONLY reason I'd ever let him is because I don't want him bringing things up in court that *I've* done to HIM later. I want it to be one-sided - me blaming him, BUT I recently realized that no matter WHAT I do, he thinks HE'S the one going out of his way!!!!
Prime example - this Sunday, Father's Day, I met him at a gas station to drop Hunter off to him. This went fine - in fact, I didn't say a WORD to him. Just dropped him off and left. HOWEVER, we also agreed that we would meet BACK at the gas station at 8pm to exchange Hunter again, because Bill had to work the next day. (too early apparently to take Hunter to daycare) So I went back to the gas station at 8 and started waiting. 8:12, Bill calls and says "I'll keep him for the night" and I'm in PAIN, with my sunburn and cold and MC, and I say "you know, that might have been nice to know BEFORE I DROVE TO THE GAS STATION TO WAIT FOR YOUR A$$" and he starts LAUGHING!!! Can you believe that??? He thought it was FUNNY!!! So I started explaining to him just how AWFUL I felt and then he started actually FEELING bad, but JEEZ!!!
So I tell Trent, and HE says now I should NEVER agree to meet Bill anywhere - I should make him drive all the way to our house (we live about 40 miles apart) to drop him off or pick him up.
I'm not sure what to do about stuff like this - do I have the RIGHT to make him drive all the way out there?? I sure wouldn't want to drive all the way both ways.. I mean, we have a 50/50 physical and legal custody arrangement. We USED to have a daily schedule of picking up and dropping off, but he started working at Rainbow about a year ago, and he's been at different locations every week so he (apparently) never knows his schedule ahead of time and constantly screws me over schedule-wise. Either he calls last minute and makes changes that screw up MY life, or he stresses me out by doing things like calling and saying he can't make it to daycare in time so could I please pick him up and then meet him somewhere - and the funny thing is, if I say no, I can't, then suddenly he's CAPABLE of making it in time, EARLY in fact - before US anyway.. he's ALWAYS lying, so WHY should I ever believe him???
ugh.
Any thoughts would be MUCH appreciated.
Thanks for reading!! lol
Christine
Confessions
Moderators: Rosie, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
-
TendrTummy
- Gentoo Penguin
- Posts: 466
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:51 am
- Location: Waconia, MN, USA
- Contact:
I'm sitting here thinking...of what would be fair (not necessarily comfortable) for everyone.
I don't think I can do that from here, Christine. I would sit down with Trent and discuss a schedule that makes sense to both of YOU and then tell Bill and stick with it. Don't take excuses. He is intruding in your life where he has no right to be. But the ball of being on schedule in his ball park. If he won't follow it, then he will HAVE to drive all the way out to your place.
Bill is acting like a child so you have to treat him like one. Fairness is the operative word.
That's just my 2 cents.
Good luck with this situation.
Lots of love,
Sally
I don't think I can do that from here, Christine. I would sit down with Trent and discuss a schedule that makes sense to both of YOU and then tell Bill and stick with it. Don't take excuses. He is intruding in your life where he has no right to be. But the ball of being on schedule in his ball park. If he won't follow it, then he will HAVE to drive all the way out to your place.
Bill is acting like a child so you have to treat him like one. Fairness is the operative word.
That's just my 2 cents.
Good luck with this situation.
Lots of love,
Sally
Mitakuye oyasin
(Lakota for "We are all related")
(Lakota for "We are all related")
-
TendrTummy
- Gentoo Penguin
- Posts: 466
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:51 am
- Location: Waconia, MN, USA
- Contact:
:)
:) Thanks for your thoughts, Sally!! :)
He IS a child. I told him that once LOL. He said something one time about how he's aged 10 yrs in the past few months, and I said "oh, so now you're 14?" hahhahahaha
Problem is that he always has an excuse about schedules.. but you're right - I have to just MAKE one, and give it to him.
Maybe I'll work on that this weekend. I also need to mention to him NOT to smoke around my child. He has asthma!!!! But yet he KEEPS smoking right there in the SAME CAR as him. Can't believe him sometimes..
Christine
He IS a child. I told him that once LOL. He said something one time about how he's aged 10 yrs in the past few months, and I said "oh, so now you're 14?" hahhahahaha
Problem is that he always has an excuse about schedules.. but you're right - I have to just MAKE one, and give it to him.
Maybe I'll work on that this weekend. I also need to mention to him NOT to smoke around my child. He has asthma!!!! But yet he KEEPS smoking right there in the SAME CAR as him. Can't believe him sometimes..
Christine
A for the smoking in the car with a chile that has asthma (and I imagine he does it anywhere if he does in the car), You could threaten to sue for full custody on just that alone if you wanted to. Endangering the child's health.
Love, Shirley
Love, Shirley
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber"
-- Winston Churchill
-- Winston Churchill
-
TendrTummy
- Gentoo Penguin
- Posts: 466
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 5:51 am
- Location: Waconia, MN, USA
- Contact:
hmmm
You know, Shirl,
I talked to a pediatrician about that a few yrs ago.. er.. whenever I had just moved out and was getting a divorce. He basically told me not to bother, that it was too difficult to prove.
Now, of course, Hunter is 5, and old enuf to TELL me the various things he does. Like normally at home, Bill smokes outside. And Hunter follows him. So while it's still in open air, it's mostly in the garage, especially in the winter, so it's STILL THERE, you know? he could still be breathing it. And then he told me that when it RAINS, Bill smokes INSIDE the house!! He stands by the stove and runs the fan to supposedly make it better, but any dumba$$ knows that fan only circulates right back into the kitchen, just higher up and pushes it outward away, so basically it spreads the stuff all over the HOUSE.
Bill SAID he was going to quit smoking when Hunter was BORN, 5 yrs ago. Then he said he was going to quit on Hunter's 5th birthday, which was June 5th. Well, he OBVIOUSLY has not quit. He dropped Hunter off the other night, and I smelled it on his hair. Now he sprays the boy with cologne to try to cover the smell, but being an ex-smoker, I know what it smells like. He probably can't smell it because his sense of smell is so masked by the smoking he does! (amazing, but true)
The issue lately has been that Hunter has a nebulizer he uses for asthmatic episodes. Mainly during his episodes, he coughs and coughs until he sounds like a seal and turns blue. Seems like lately the ONLY time Hunter needs the nebulizer is after he visits Bill.
I'll talk to my lawyer about this.. but last I heard, I didn't have any ground to stand on. Maybe since Hunter is now OLD enuf to TELL them the truth, they will listen..
Christine
I talked to a pediatrician about that a few yrs ago.. er.. whenever I had just moved out and was getting a divorce. He basically told me not to bother, that it was too difficult to prove.
Now, of course, Hunter is 5, and old enuf to TELL me the various things he does. Like normally at home, Bill smokes outside. And Hunter follows him. So while it's still in open air, it's mostly in the garage, especially in the winter, so it's STILL THERE, you know? he could still be breathing it. And then he told me that when it RAINS, Bill smokes INSIDE the house!! He stands by the stove and runs the fan to supposedly make it better, but any dumba$$ knows that fan only circulates right back into the kitchen, just higher up and pushes it outward away, so basically it spreads the stuff all over the HOUSE.
Bill SAID he was going to quit smoking when Hunter was BORN, 5 yrs ago. Then he said he was going to quit on Hunter's 5th birthday, which was June 5th. Well, he OBVIOUSLY has not quit. He dropped Hunter off the other night, and I smelled it on his hair. Now he sprays the boy with cologne to try to cover the smell, but being an ex-smoker, I know what it smells like. He probably can't smell it because his sense of smell is so masked by the smoking he does! (amazing, but true)
The issue lately has been that Hunter has a nebulizer he uses for asthmatic episodes. Mainly during his episodes, he coughs and coughs until he sounds like a seal and turns blue. Seems like lately the ONLY time Hunter needs the nebulizer is after he visits Bill.
I'll talk to my lawyer about this.. but last I heard, I didn't have any ground to stand on. Maybe since Hunter is now OLD enuf to TELL them the truth, they will listen..
Christine