I have been Labled "Bad Mother"

Feel free to discuss any topic of general interest, so long as nothing you post here is likely to be interpreted as insulting, and/or inflammatory, nor clearly designed to provoke any individual or group. Please be considerate of others feelings, and they will be considerate of yours.

Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh

Post Reply
annie oakley
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 3859
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 5:56 pm

I have been Labled "Bad Mother"

Post by annie oakley »

I have to vent!!!! No Matter how well you think you loved your kids they can can become very very wierd. My second Born (Daughter) Has had an issue all her life thinking I loved her Brother (first Born) More than her. :mallet: She is Bi-polar, maniac, and a little schetzoid. She has tried to pick a fight about this off and on for about 5 years. It's not easy dealing with these issues of health. :shock: Anyway my kid emails my sister and asked her for some family history. And also states that I never loved her and just ragged and ragged on. So my sister emails back and states firmly but lovingly that she was wrong, and enlightened her to a few truths ( read both emails) :yikes Kid emails me with a very dis-respectful email. I email back and tell her she was dis=respectful and that all her aunt told her was true. Ok So get and email that was nasty accusing me of being a bad mother and she and the Kids would be better off with out me. :whatever: I have ommitted alot of nasty stuff for the bennifit of your ears. Now she has blocked me from her emails and phone. Mike and I are thinking she has to be on drugs or something. :shithead: And yes this hurts my heart, but on the other hand I am soooooooooo angry at her. Mike is even madder than I am. Sorry I just need to vent! Scream :attention: and hit her on the head with a brick or two :banghead: I guess that's not legal tho. I have shook my head so many times last night and tonight that I can;t believe it Sorry about venting Love Oma
May I be more compassionate and loving than yeterday*and be able to spot the idiots in advance
Mars
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2307
Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 6:30 pm
Location: Ohio
Contact:

Post by Mars »

Awe Oma, it's rough dealing with kids sometimes, isn't it??? I can truly relate - I've been labeled a bad mother many times - all us mothers have at some time or another, probably!

I guess all you can do is know in your heart the truth, tell HER the truth, and know the problem is hers to solve, not yours. Time will tell and life goes on.

It sure tugs at the heartstrings though, doesn't it!

Love ya, :hug:
Mars
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." -- Buddha
annie oakley
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 3859
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 5:56 pm

Post by annie oakley »

Yes it does and I am still upset about. I have a doctor appt tomorrow and I am going to ask for something to calm me down. I could feel my blood pressure rising. But thanks Margie. Thats why I vent her cause evryone understands. Love Oma :mallet: :twisted: :banned: :yikes: :crutches: :blah: :yuk: :bufordpusser: :anger: :hammerhead: :raincloud: :bandevil: :devilangel:
May I be more compassionate and loving than yeterday*and be able to spot the idiots in advance
Becky
Adélie Penguin
Adélie Penguin
Posts: 196
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2007 7:49 pm
Location: Poulsbo WA

Post by Becky »

Dear Oma,
I only know you a bit via posts over the last year, but I respect you as a person, mother wife and grandmother. I'd LOVE to have you in my family. In fact, I'm up for adoption. Is 41 too old?
I wish words could help, but you know the truth and have to hold on to that.
Here's hoping for a restful weekend, hope the doc can give you a little something to make this easier.
Take care,
Becky
annie oakley
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 3859
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 5:56 pm

Post by annie oakley »

Sure Bechy, I'll adopt you! I feel better later I'm just uoset now. Love Oma
May I be more compassionate and loving than yeterday*and be able to spot the idiots in advance
G'ma Mary
Adélie Penguin
Adélie Penguin
Posts: 142
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:51 pm
Location: Deep South Texas

Post by G'ma Mary »

Oma;

I've known you (on-line) for several years and I do NOT believe you are a bad anything (mother, person - anything! You are a good and caring person.

Now, you can choose to believe your daughter or those of us here.

I know the heart still hurts, but don't let the heart control the head!

Love you!
G'ma Mary
Those who are not part of the solution, are part of the problem.
User avatar
angy
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin
Posts: 1053
Joined: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:46 pm
Location: scotland,Edinburgh

Post by angy »

Oma!! you need to have a heart to heart with her!!! just you and her...no one else...You gotta get this into perspective..She needs to understand who you are, where you are coming from!! and accept you for who you are, good or bad!!

The usual cliche!!!"bad mother""is not a term to accurately describe situations on an emotional level..

Bad mother means (as we all know) mental and physical abuse to your kin..

Take some time out from her oma...time to calm down then think about meeting with her to sort her head out!! and issues with you..

best of luck!! and let us all know how things went...If you do this that is!!!

:grouphug:
Angy ;)
User avatar
hazel
Rockhopper Penguin
Rockhopper Penguin
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2005 12:15 pm
Location: OH

Post by hazel »

Take some time out from her oma
I think this is the best advice. Let it go for now because we all know it's her problem, not yours. Probably nothing you or your sister say can get through to her right now. In a while maybe she'll get over (or off of) whatever it is that set her off. Just hope she'll be okay in the meantime and not hurt anyone else. We love you and respect you!
:bigbighug:
kathy
User avatar
Carol Arnett
Gentoo Penguin
Gentoo Penguin
Posts: 423
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:07 pm

bad mother

Post by Carol Arnett »

Oma, you are such a pure, honest soul I cannot imagine you being a "bad" anything.
Is your daughter on medication for the bi-polar condition? It sounds like she should be, if not.
I feel certain from what I have read that her condition is the whole problem and she needs to address that instead of trying to blame you for what ails her.
Take heart, dear lady...believe in yourself....you are a very worthwhile person in every way. Love, Carol
Carol Arnett
annie oakley
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 3859
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 5:56 pm

Post by annie oakley »

Thanks Guys! She lives too far away to talk to her right now, and she sid she was on meds but I doubt it. I know I wasn't a bad Mother to her, That's just wha she called me.
Love Oa
May I be more compassionate and loving than yeterday*and be able to spot the idiots in advance
User avatar
barbaranoela
Emperor Penguin
Emperor Penguin
Posts: 5394
Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 6:11 pm
Location: New York

OMA---

Post by barbaranoela »

I think I am about to be sitting next to U---as I soon am going to be the rotten GRAMS!!
Just spoke with Lynn--Kristyn is home and she is giving Lynn one hell of an abusive time--

Lynn has found a gentleman--and they have been seeing each other (lord knows Lynn deserves some happy time with a man) and she asked Kris if she would like to meet him and Kristyn said *NO* and how dare Lynn date a man

Wellllllllllllll---tomorrow we are going to Lynns and I have just about had it-----
Kristyn will HEAR me and it isnt going to be pleasant--I know its been hard for Kristyn with all the doctoring that Kait needed---but we did our best to always be attentive to Kristyn and now she is TELLING her mom--HOW dare she!!!
She didnt even go into Kaits room to say *hiya Kait--how ya doing*!!
She said other things to Lynn and I would have smacked her right in that prissy face --she is telling LYNN what to do!!!!

And if Gramps baby coddles Kris I will blow my cork--

I cant wait for tomorrow
Barbara
the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control
User avatar
jodibelle352
Angel
Angel
Posts: 610
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:57 pm
Location: Michigan
Contact:

Post by jodibelle352 »

Hi Oma:

So sorry to hear about everything you're going through with your daughter. I know just how badly her words and actions cut through your heart. As a mother who loves all her children as you do it's so hard NOT to get angry and feel very hurt to the point where you want to reach out a choke someone.

My youngest daughter who is 34 does the same thing to me. I love her with all my heart but I have to distance myself from her at this time and set certain boundries when we do have any kind of contact.

With the medical issues your daughter has I'm certain it's her azz speaking because her head knows better. But being bi-polar does not make it easy for you to deal with her when in her own mind;"she's right" and that's just how it is. Unless, she's doing what she needs to do by seeing a doctor and following up with the right medications and treatment programs then your hands as her Mother are truly tied.

My prayers are with you Oma. Keep the faith.

Love and God Bless:
Jodi
May God and All His Angels, watchover, protect and guide you "One Day At A Time".
User avatar
JJ
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 2891
Joined: Fri May 27, 2005 11:04 pm
Location: North Bend, Wa.

Post by JJ »

Hi Oma....My former neighbor is going through the same thing with her daughter. They were very close and bingo...she started telling her mom how she never loved her....loved the brother more, etc. etc. It has broken my neighbor's heart because she also doesn't get to see her grand children very often. They used to come and stay for a few days, or she would drive North to be with them for a weekend...that has all stopped. :sad: Anyway, I hope your daughter can work through this and be kind again.

Love and hugs, JJ
User avatar
MaggieRedwings
King Penguin
King Penguin
Posts: 3865
Joined: Tue May 31, 2005 3:16 am
Location: SE Pennsylvania

Post by MaggieRedwings »

Oma,

You are a wonderful mom and that's a fact! Just distance yourself and hopefully she will realize what she has said.

Love, Maggie
Maggie Scarpone
___________________
Resident Birder - I live to bird and enjoy life!
Post Reply

Return to “Main Message Board”