We just got home from "family weekend" at my daughter's rehab facility. Wow! I went expecting just to learn about the disease of addiction and didn't consider that it might be an emotional journey. I thought I had myself together and ready to take this on. I am so not ready! I need to change my behavior. We have let her addiction take over our lives. I have to heal my negative feelings, learn to care for myself & find happiness again. I also haven't dealt with my brother's death or his addiction issues. I am a complete enabler and HAVE to change. They really pushed Alanon so I am going to a meeting tomorrow night. Any one have any experience with this organization? I have no idea what to expect and am a little nervous.
As for my daughter. She is doing GREAT! She and her Dad had a discussion today. She was calm, didn't raise her voice or argue. This is HUGE! I can't even remember the last time she and her Dad had a discussion with out a huge blow up. I think my hubby was so surprised that he couldn't remember what point he was trying to get across. We took her to lunch and had a great visit, even some laughing. I caught a glimpse of our old Ashlee. She is really determined & realized on her own that she won't be ready to come home after 30 days. So she is staying another 30 days and longer if needed. She really misses Kylee. We took Kylee to see her last weekend. She saw two beds in the room and was certain that the second bed was hers! When her Mom told her she couldn't stay. She laid down on the bed put her arms behind her head and crossed her feet. She was staying!
We are hanging in there best we can. We have felt hopeless for a long time, it feels good to have hope.
I am grateful to have all of you & your support. It helps to get my feelings out instead of suppressing them. I feel comfortable doing that here.
Hugs & love
Lori
Update on my daughter
Moderators: Rosie, Stanz, Jean, CAMary, moremuscle, JFR, Dee, xet, Peggy, Matthew, Gabes-Apg, grannyh, Gloria, Mars, starfire, Polly, Joefnh
Update on my daughter
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jodibelle352
- Angel
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Hi Lori:
Welcome to the PP Boards. All of us here have our medical conditions in common but we also have indured many other issues in our lives. So many times when someone like yourself reaches out for support many of us can help even if its only to be supportive and let you know that you're not alone.
Drug as well as Alcohol Addiction is something I've grown up with all my life. I remember the first time a counceler told me that while growing up that my family was very "disfunctional"! OMG! I wanted to punch his lights out I was so insulted. LOL
The truth of the matter is that when one of our family members or children is facing a battle with drugs/alcohol the WHOLE family is affected.
I don't really know how long your daughter as been in rehab or how long she's been using or abusing but it's very important that you, your hubby and other family members get counceling or participate in a program such as Alanon.
I do not want to burst your bubble but I want you to be very cautious with what you see and hear from your daughter in the early parts of her rehab. Why I say this is because sometimes an addictive person will say and do anything to make others feel they are making progress when in they are actually saying and doing things they know you want to see and here. I know my words may seem to be harsh but I don't want you to be let down and discouraged if at some point you find out the she may be pulling your leg.
I am certain that right now she does want to do everything she can to get out of rehab and that she wants to be well. The truthful fact is that for years you and your family have been lied to continuously so that she could continue to use and abuse.
By going to Alanon meetings and even possibly going to some open AA or NA meetings you can discuss your feelings as well as talk with others who are going or have gone through exactly what you are going through at this time. It's not uncommon at the beginning of rehab recovery for the loved one who is addicted to be untruthful with themselves inregards to their addiction. Many sometimes feel that "Hey, I can quit just like that!"
You are going to find that it is going to be a life altering experience for your daughter where her current friends may have to illiminated from her life in order for her to remain sober. This is a very hard thing to do but is sometimes very neccessary because if and when you leave rehab you go right back to the same old habits/routines and friends you will probably relapse.
Right now your daughter is where she needs to be Lori but you and your hubby also need to become truly aware by possibly seeking Family Counceling, reading anything and everything you can on substance and alcohol abuse and by all means find a support group much like you have here that can help you understand certain behaviors you will eventually be dealing with.
Right now I'm only going to focus on one issue at a time. If you want to discuss this further, just let me know I will do whatever I can to help you.
At another time I will go into more detail about my own history of alcohol abuse, my father's alcohol dependency as well as my daughter; Kara Ann and he years of drug and alcohol use.
For know I wish you God Speed with much love.
Love and God Bless:
Jodi
Welcome to the PP Boards. All of us here have our medical conditions in common but we also have indured many other issues in our lives. So many times when someone like yourself reaches out for support many of us can help even if its only to be supportive and let you know that you're not alone.
Drug as well as Alcohol Addiction is something I've grown up with all my life. I remember the first time a counceler told me that while growing up that my family was very "disfunctional"! OMG! I wanted to punch his lights out I was so insulted. LOL
The truth of the matter is that when one of our family members or children is facing a battle with drugs/alcohol the WHOLE family is affected.
I don't really know how long your daughter as been in rehab or how long she's been using or abusing but it's very important that you, your hubby and other family members get counceling or participate in a program such as Alanon.
I do not want to burst your bubble but I want you to be very cautious with what you see and hear from your daughter in the early parts of her rehab. Why I say this is because sometimes an addictive person will say and do anything to make others feel they are making progress when in they are actually saying and doing things they know you want to see and here. I know my words may seem to be harsh but I don't want you to be let down and discouraged if at some point you find out the she may be pulling your leg.
I am certain that right now she does want to do everything she can to get out of rehab and that she wants to be well. The truthful fact is that for years you and your family have been lied to continuously so that she could continue to use and abuse.
By going to Alanon meetings and even possibly going to some open AA or NA meetings you can discuss your feelings as well as talk with others who are going or have gone through exactly what you are going through at this time. It's not uncommon at the beginning of rehab recovery for the loved one who is addicted to be untruthful with themselves inregards to their addiction. Many sometimes feel that "Hey, I can quit just like that!"
You are going to find that it is going to be a life altering experience for your daughter where her current friends may have to illiminated from her life in order for her to remain sober. This is a very hard thing to do but is sometimes very neccessary because if and when you leave rehab you go right back to the same old habits/routines and friends you will probably relapse.
Right now your daughter is where she needs to be Lori but you and your hubby also need to become truly aware by possibly seeking Family Counceling, reading anything and everything you can on substance and alcohol abuse and by all means find a support group much like you have here that can help you understand certain behaviors you will eventually be dealing with.
Right now I'm only going to focus on one issue at a time. If you want to discuss this further, just let me know I will do whatever I can to help you.
At another time I will go into more detail about my own history of alcohol abuse, my father's alcohol dependency as well as my daughter; Kara Ann and he years of drug and alcohol use.
For know I wish you God Speed with much love.
Love and God Bless:
Jodi
May God and All His Angels, watchover, protect and guide you "One Day At A Time".
Hi Lori!
Good to hear about Ashlee's progress. I have been watching the board for an update. And interesting to hear that you have begun a learning curve about addictions. Life is sure full of learning experiences, isn't it?
I wrote to Ashlee and let her know I'd be happy to talk or continue writing any time. I am so proud of her. And thanks for the Kylee photos - she is really growing up - I can't believe it.
Love and
Polly
Good to hear about Ashlee's progress. I have been watching the board for an update. And interesting to hear that you have begun a learning curve about addictions. Life is sure full of learning experiences, isn't it?
I wrote to Ashlee and let her know I'd be happy to talk or continue writing any time. I am so proud of her. And thanks for the Kylee photos - she is really growing up - I can't believe it.
Love and
Polly
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.
Hi Lori,
It sounds like she's making good progress, and the fact that she recognizes that it may take longer than initially anticipated, and she volunteered that information on her own, is a very good sign, I would think. And, as Polly pointed out, we never run out of new things to learn, do we.
I hope that everything keeps proceeding as smoothly as possible.
Love,
Tex
It sounds like she's making good progress, and the fact that she recognizes that it may take longer than initially anticipated, and she volunteered that information on her own, is a very good sign, I would think. And, as Polly pointed out, we never run out of new things to learn, do we.
I hope that everything keeps proceeding as smoothly as possible.
Love,
Tex
It is suspected that some of the hardest material known to science can be found in the skulls of GI specialists who insist that diet has nothing to do with the treatment of microscopic colitis.
